Authenticity, Vulnerability, and Being the Real YOU are the New Currencies in Selling. So, what is Stopping You?

Recently a girlfriend of mine purchased a new car. I enquired about her experience. She said it was easy and effortless as she did it all over the phone with a car salesman at a dealership. I asked her why she had chosen this approach, and her response was the following:

• She couldn’t be bothered with all the BS
• She was aware of their tactics and was not interested in the ‘cat and mouse’ games
• She knew that if she went to the dealership, the first thing that car salesman would do was get her into that car to create an emotional attachment
• She didn’t have a man in her life to do the ‘wheeling and dealing.
• She felt more in control of the sales process using the phone than in person.
• She did not want to be sold to in the presence of a salesman using force, urgency, fear, and manipulation, which often happens at a showroom.
• She used her cell phone as a tool to feel empowered to ask for what she wanted.
• She felt more in the ‘drivers’ seat’ without having to go for the test drive.

Wow! What a calculated approach to get her needs met because she did not trust a sales representative, especially in the car industry. I wonder how many other industries are using tactics like the automotive industry to sell their products and services?

I wonder how many companies are losing clients because of their old ways of selling and worn-out approaches?

When I first arrived in America, all I wanted to do was change the way the automotive industry sold cars to women because of a poor car buying experience. I approached many dealerships with my solution from my book, 'The Art of Selling to a Woman,' but many were not interested, and so I gave up trying ‘teach a dog’ new tricks. (By the way, the ‘boys club’ is alive and well and not interested in learning a new approach. I wonder how long it will take for them to wake up to themselves?)

Imagine if it was different? Imagine if your clients were able to enter a showroom and feel safe. Safe because they were dealing with sales representatives who were themselves; real, authentic, and vulnerable. How refreshing it would be to walk into a showroom and be greeted by a person who wanted to be your friend first, wanted to get to know you and spoke to your heart. Wouldn’t it be great if each salespersons’ primary goal was connection first before the sale?

I believe it is possible because we have all had those interactions with others where we have let our guards down and been real, vulnerable and authentic with someone else, even total strangers. 

We all have experienced those magic moments where we have started up a conversation with a stranger at a local supermarket, gym, restaurant, where the conversation has flowed, jovial banter ensued, that has often resulted in the swapping of numbers and even a hug at the end to seal the soulful connection. Everything just flowed because we were present, real, honest, and vulnerable sharing our experiences, hopes, opinions, and dreams.

How easy and effortless would life be if we operated our lives from this space rather than our heads? Imagine how easy selling our products and services would be if we put a connection first before the sale.

It astounds me how we can create this sort of connection with total strangers, yet we can’t do it in the workplace with our clients. We let our guards down when we are away from our work environments, yet this is one of the crucial ingredients to the ‘special sauce’ for making it in sales.

It feels safer to be stoic, polished, and professional because society has told us not to let our guards down, it is unprofessional, and we may face rejection and ostracization.

We feel afraid to be real selves in case we get into trouble. We allow our stories about ourselves to get in the way of creating genuine connections with others.

The art of connection has been lost because of many factors. One of them is the internet, which is a blessing, as well as a curse.

We think we are connecting because we send emojis, likes, love hearts, or make a comment, but is this genuine connection?

Real connection is being present now with another human being either by phone or in person. It is actively listening, not interrupting, asking appropriate questions that go deeper than the surface level, and make a person feel heard, seen, and appreciated.

When you are in your heart, you don’t worry what comes out of your mouth because it is from your soul.

When you are in your head, it is superficial, shallow, fake, and insincere.

Your tone of voice instantly gives you away about how you feel about yourself and your world. It is often loaded with anger, urgency, fear, resentment, and your perception of the person with you. How many conversations have we had with others where we know they are not present, genuine, or sincere?

I recently had a conversation with a salesperson working for a world-renowned personal development company. The purpose of the call was to see if I was interested in a ninety-minute strategy call to support me with my vision. The moment she started speaking and asking questions of me, I felt my stomach churn. She was trying to show interest in my welfare; however, my gut instinct said otherwise. She came across as insincere and disingenuous. It was her tone, sickly sweet, and the conversation was surface level. I couldn’t wait to get off the phone.

Imagine salespeople ringing their network of clients regularly and making inquiries about the things that matter to their clients, such as their kids without selling them anything.

I believe doing these small acts of kindness is the glue to acquisition and retention.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen often, and that is why companies are not exceeding their sales goals easily. Salespeople, like most people, are afraid of being rejected.

They have been told it isn’t professional, yet this is what your clients are dying for, and where all the magic is.

Imagine doing it differently where you stopped worrying about whether the person buys your product or services?

What a relief you would feel if you treated every interaction with a client as a divine appointment.

 I believe every person crosses our path for a reason, season, or lifetime. Every person either can either solve our problems or vice versa. Sometimes this does not involve a sale.

If we would only change our approach and come from a place of wanting to be of service, be there for the joy of it, we would exude different energy, and this would lead to a very different result both personally and professionally.

Remember authenticity, vulnerability, and being the real YOU are the new currency for selling your products and services. Stop being an ice-cube and thaw out. The water is safe to swim in.

Much love

Tanya

P.S. In this article, I have shared the importance of connection by being authentic, real, and vulnerable. I believe these are the future currencies to making it in sales as clients are sick and tired of the old approaches. If you would like to know more, then get in contact with me. [email protected]. I have some tried and tested tools that can support you become more connected to yourself and others.