On authenticity

I thought about writing an end of the year post. And then maybe another about the beginning of the new year. Then the end of the year came and went, as did the beginning of a new year...(grace period until the Lunar New Year). These times are ripe for some profound reflections or commitments of sort but I couldn't bring myself to pick a topic that felt so singularly representative of what the world looks like today, how I am making sense of it all, and what I am going to try to do to make my life and work more meaningful. Instead, I am circling back to a topic that's been on my mind for some time now — something I'm going to be thinking about and no doubt, will come up in conversations again and again (thanks to today's inspiration...you know who you are!). And that topic is authenticity.

Authenticity is about being real and genuine, "true to one's own personality, spirit, or character" according to the Merriam-Webster Inc. definition. On the one hand, it seems like something that's completely innate and comfortable to you, because it's really about who you are as a person, what you believe in, and how your decisions, actions, and interactions with other people reinforce "you" the person in a consistent and recognizable pattern. At the same time, especially in work settings, the idea of authenticity feels rare, unattainable, and somewhat performative. What is supposed to come natural to you as a part of your personhood has become a heavily manufactured concept, a skill, even. And the irony is that the very effort of trying too hard lands you somewhere farther from what true authenticity means.

Why, then, is this so hard? There's no simple answer, but I believe it's because authenticity started being defined by externally driven factors vs. internally driven ones. Here's what I mean by externally driven factors: What are other people's expectations about who I need to be and how I need to show up? What's their perception of my ideas, how I say it, what I'm wearing and where I'm standing when I present them? Who do I need to become in order to be successful...or let's just start with, fit in? We are social beings by nature, and it would be impossible to eliminate these types of questions and dynamics entirely from how we make our choices. However, making choices based on other people's expectations and perception alone — or worse yet, our speculation of it — is a cognitive and emotional burden that inadvertently ends up obscuring who we are and what we are trying to say and do.

If we were to think about the idea of authenticity as an internally driven concept, what you'd be asking yourself will shift to things you can reasonably control and manage. What are my expectations of myself as I walk into this meeting? What are my goals and objectives by the time it's done? Which outfit would make me feel more confident and comfortable so that I'd be feeling at my best? Is it important to me that I address this topic that's rather difficult to talk about — if so, do I understand my "why (eg. integrity, peace of mind, etc)" and how do I also plan to bring those values to how I address it? How would I feel if someone challenges or disagrees with my idea, and how do I plan to give space to my feelings while also using it as an indicator of how I'm landing the parts I can control? Nothing changes about the context or circumstances of the situation, including different people with whom you're going to need to address and convince. But your questions get reframed and anchored back to you, so that you're recommitting to your own beliefs, values, and priorities, and whether or not there's a gap between your intent vs. your decisions and actions.

Like anything in life (and in work), sticking to your own principles and intuitions takes some courage. Addressing your own anxiety and fear in this is very much a part of what genuine authenticity looks like. The real question is, are we willing to live by other people's anxiety and fear, many of them manufactured and manipulated in the first place, or are we going to choose to occupy and live fully in the body, heart, mind, time, and space that is ours? As a storyteller and a futurist very much invested in, and in the middle of, how AI will change the way we live and work, I want more of us to keep curiosity alive and think for ourselves, form our own opinions and perspectives, and express them not as a dupe, fake, or a replica of ourselves, or worse yet, just a hint or a shadow of who we're meant to be. I am hungry for more true, genuine authenticity and originality. It's scary and exhilarating at the same time.