Authenticity

The dictionary definition of authenticity is: the quality of being authentic; genuineness.

My question is this – is this how you deal with people on a daily basis and is it what you are known for? Sometimes people blur the lines between what is right and what is expected – this is something I have tried never to do.

In a previous life I was a make-up artist, focusing on bridal make-up. My whole purpose in that role was to make the bride look and feel like a million dollars; to add a boost of confidence in the fact she looked like the best version of herself.

I went to a bride-to-be’s house to do a make-up trial for her and her two bridesmaids. The bridesmaids were very happy to have the trial, relax into the process and let me do my work. The bride, however, was a different story.

She first thing she said to me when I arrived was, “Can you make me look like Beyonce?”

I was taken aback by this – she looked the polar opposite of Beyonce and there was no way I would be able to do that!

Many people in this situation would have said, “Yes! Of course I can!” and then applied so much make-up to get the effect they wanted that the make-up would never have stayed on for the day…

This is what I said:

“No, I can’t – tell me why you want to look like Beyonce! I mean, she is lovely, but she looks nothing like you – you are lovely in a different way! So why are you so keen to look like her?”

She told me that her fiancé was a huge Beyonce fan (she actually used the word 'obsessed') and that she had thought it would be a great idea to look like her on their wedding day so it would be more memorable for him! Seriously!?

And here is what I told her:

• Your colouring is completely different (she was very pale with red hair)
• Your bone structure is completely different
• Your eyes are a different shape

And here is what I asked her:

• Who is your fiancé marrying?
• Who does he think he is marrying?
• If he thinks he is marrying you, why would he want to see Beyonce on his wedding day?
• In the future, if you have children, how will you answer the question, “Mummy, who is that lady marrying Daddy?” when they look at your wedding photos and video?

To be honest, she was a little upset, but the bridesmaids stepped in and told her that they totally agreed, that she was already beautiful, and that James (the fiancé) spent a lot of time telling people how stunning she was and that he was lucky to have found her! He had never once mentioned wanting to spend time with Beyonce, it was always with her!

After a bit of a weep and admitting that, actually, she didn’t see how she could look like Beyonce anyway, we did the make-up trial (a little difficult with the puffy eyes, but we got there!) and, of course, she looked beautiful. I did the make-p for her wedding and she looked like the best version of herself that she could. We did use a lipstick which was very similar to a colour that Beyonce had worn, but that was only because it really suited her!

And the moral of the story?

Tell people what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. Be known for doing the right thing, even if it means you may lose a client.

Whatever you spend your time doing has to sit right with you – be your authentic self. If you are trying to give everyone what they want, instead of what they need, you will spend a lot of time trying to remember what it is you are to each person and if that is someone different for everyone you meet, it is not a sustainable way to live.

And it is damaging in the long run – people will start to distrust you and the way you deal with them, if they see it is different to how you deal with other people.

I am in a position now where I can be my authentic self, and this makes me happy. My clients know that I will always tell them what I believe to be the best course of action, rather than trying to do something which I don’t think will be good for them or their business. And that together, we will do what is best for their business, which may be completely different to what they think they need to do…

If you want to know more about how I work, why not give me a call? We can talk about your business challenges, what you like to do, or don’t like to do, or are not great at, and see if I can take away some of the admin overwhelm (of course I can!).

I might not be able to make you look like Beyonce, but I can help you grow your business!