Authenticity - It's Complicated

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Shankar Vedantam wrote in Useful Delusions, The Power & Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain, “If the rational mind says, speak the truth, no matter the consequences, more ancient algorithms in the brain whisper, make sure you get along with others and tend to your relationships.”

Vedantam might well have been speaking to the paradox of authenticity, one of the most ubiquitous and misunderstood of contemporary buzz-words. There are, understandably, many positive affects to bringing your authentic self to work. ?They include:

• Decreased levels of stress/better health for not having expended unnecessary energy on pretense
• Greater likelihood of forgiveness/empathy from others for mistakes made and owned
• More synchronous and positive body language as people reflect back your authenticity
• Better sense of self as you comfortably own and wear your true values/traits

The positive effects of bringing your authentic self to your conversations, your relationships, and your work, are innumerable. We carry that authenticity in our verbal, and in our non-verbal interactions, thus making it easier for colleagues to relax in our presence as they don’t have to expend unnecessary cognitive energy trying to figure out who the 'real you' might be.

So, with so many benefits to authenticity, what possible reasons could there be for NOT bringing your authentic self to work?

In a nutshell, it’s complicated.

Approximately 1 in 100 people are sociopaths. There are a reported further 5% of people who have narcissistic personality disorder, and there are as many as 25% of the population who are lacking, if not severely deficient, in empathy.

By any reasonable standard, that means close to one third of the population can lack the basic social skills necessary to maintain good relationships with colleagues.

To be blunt, there are also a great many 'horses-asses' in the world, and we are not better for them bringing their authentic selves to work. People who, on the surface – the place where they spend most of their lives – just don’t give a hoot about ?you, me, or anyone else for that matter.

Their entire existence revolves around self, and their capacity to engage with other human-beings is driven by what they can extract from those often shallow and fleeting relationships.

They hold views, political, religious, social, that feed their insatiable need to be the center of attention. They are agitative, ornery, and frequently offensive.?Their ‘ideology’ is nothing less than a need to challenge convention and social norms for its own sake, and their willingness to offend under the guise of (wait for it…) “I’m just being honest with you…” is all about drawing attention to themselves, be damned the consequences, or damage inflicted.

Authenticity should come with a warning label. The prevailing proviso ought to be that it inherently includes respect, decency, and a sense of civil and social responsibility.

Authenticity must never be used as a cover for bigotry, for misogyny, or for racist behaviors or attitudes. It must not be an excuse for pathological negativity, or for toxic behavior.

Henry Emmons and David Alter wrote in Staying Sharp “When we feel connected to someone, through empathy, we can feel emotionally safe and more secure.”

If we could attach that remarkable trait to our authentic selves we might just move mountains.

Peter Smith

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