Authenticity: A Growth Mindset in Action

This morning, I reflected on a value I hold dear in my personal and professional life: authenticity. Authenticity is something we in the resilience sector will see discussed regularly now as part of this move to foster more authentic leadership in resilience, leadership that is both visible and accountable. The question, though, is, what does this mean in practice? So, I wondered:

(1) What have I learned from my reflective journey and efforts to transform my behaviours and actions?

(2) What could be taken from this to understand what authentic communication and behaviour might look like?

(3) How can we actively develop this in practice to become more visibly authentic and accountable as leaders?

?

What have I learned from my reflective journey and efforts to transform my behaviours and actions?

I approached this reflection from multiple perspectives—my own, my interactions with others, and the qualities I admire in people and organizations I engage with.

Authenticity means being true to oneself. It’s one of the most challenging goals to strive for and one that everyone stumbles upon at times.

Option A: It's those individuals and organisations who, despite setbacks and failures and not always getting it right, can acknowledge faults, weaknesses, and flaws and be willing to address them. These are inevitably those we can respect and admire the most, the ones who continuously inspire us to be the best versions of ourselves.

Option B: Conversely, we often find we cannot trust those who refuse to acknowledge the possibility of their faults while claiming to be honest, trustworthy, transparent, and authentic. These individuals often lose the respect of their?peers over time. They may even hide this behaviour in temporary measures, quick fixes, ?shortcuts, and stop gaps that reveal limited intentions to change only to mollify others. When there is no effort to recognise this and repeat these patterns, or by making excuses for it and blaming others while insisting on authenticity, peers lose respect.

Therefore, striving towards Option A, personally and professionally, seems most sensible and logical.

I take the time to reflect on my actions and behaviours. Authenticity is perhaps something I value most above all. Subsequently, it is the thing I often judge myself for the harshest, and I will feel down and lost when I am not aligned in my actions.

Recently, I've often fallen short of my expectations for authenticity. My experiences have shown me that authenticity involves understanding and aligning with one’s truths, decisions, and actions. It's about grasping the reasons behind one’s behaviours, thoughts, and feelings and recognising how these elements influence our choices. This understanding is fundamentally linked to our ability to address our shortcomings, take responsibility, commit to change, and gain control over our choices and actions.

In reflecting on this, I’ve concluded that achieving authenticity requires the following things:

Self-awareness - Knowing yourself well enough to recognise your motivations and actions.

Curiosity and Kindness - Engaging in reflection without judgment to foster honesty and integrity towards oneself.

Self-compassion - ?Accepting and embracing who you are, including your motivations, lessons learned, and areas for growth.

This journey has ultimately led me to the essential missing feature in my coping capacities and skills—my ongoing development means I now want to cultivate greater control, restraint, and discipline over my thoughts, feelings, and actions rather than simply reacting based on default beliefs or emotional impulses.

Going forward, I am committed to making decisions based on my values rather than my emotions.

In short, we can't indeed be authentic if we don’t know why we act as we do. For example, I recently acted impulsively—out of alignment with my core values. I value dedication, focus, discipline, and sustained effort rather than quick fixes or shortcuts. Yet I rushed into something I knew I wasn’t ready for, acting purely on emotion rather than logic. To make matters worse, I continued to repeat this behaviour without restraint, knowing it was the wrong action. And yet, I still found myself rushing into something and pushing myself too hard into something I knew I was not ready for.

This was something I knew I had not prepared for; I had not front-loaded and laid solid foundations, and I had not taken the time to train myself physically and mentally and build up to this. Instead, I acted impulsively, driven entirely by emotion and not logic. My thoughts, feelings, behaviours and actions did not align with what I was saying. I was saying what I knew to be true logically: I am not ready, this is not what I need, and this should not be a priority for focus. Instead, all logic went entirely out of the window, and emotion began to fuel an unstoppable thirsty fire within me that would inevitably consume me.? My thoughts and actions were ultimately misaligned and a clear example of something I would need to take ownership and action over.

Overall, I must commit to taking action to understand my emotions, seek to regulate them, and leverage this knowledge to become more authentic personally and professionally.

What can we learn from this to better understand authentic communication and behaviour?

The result of the second question was to draft a rough Self-Help Guide for Authentic Decision-Making.

A significant part of my mental health journey has been learning emotional regulation. This is and will be a work in progress for me for a long time. The past week has brought some critical lessons, and I now find myself navigating a new level of discomfort—a space for growth and self-acceptance.

Recent setbacks have revealed what I’d personally term an "authentic misalignment." This occurs when thoughts and feelings become clouded by unchecked emotions, leading to a reaction rather than a?thoughtful response. A key lesson?is that emotionally driven decisions often don’t yield the best outcomes. Moving forward, I’m determined to create a practical approach to handling such moments more authentically. Many will note my disaster style before, during, and after the framework for this!

?

Self-Help Guide for Authentic Responses and Decision-Making

?

Before: Commit to daily actions like mindfulness and reflection.

·?????? Practice mindfulness to recognise how emotions may influence behaviour.

·?????? Reflect with compassion and curiosity to interpret thoughts and emotions objectively.

Practice mindfulness to cultivate self-awareness and presence: Recognize how your emotions may influence your behaviour and thinking. Do this daily, practising mindfulness and using a grounding technique to begin cultivating a sense of presence. Learn to exercise self-awareness by observing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, recognising and accepting them without judgement, and reflecting them with kindness, compassion and curiosity where possible. Learn to gradually interpret these and consider them more objectively, perhaps considering the perspective of loved ones and what they would say.

During: In the heat of the moment: Use the STA-PR technique.

·?????? Stop and consider the task, action, and desired outcome.

·?????? Think rationally before deciding on a response, balancing emotion with logic.

·?????? Ask for clarity and/or perspective: Seek input and a more balanced view.

·?????? Pause - Response: nothing is so urgent it can’t wait for a thoughtful response.

Pause that urge to respond; mainly, take a break if you feel overwhelmed and would benefit from processing thoughts or feelings.

Take a moment to evaluate the task, the necessary actions, and the desired outcomes. Think logically before responding, and avoid acting on emotional impulses if you’re unable to do so calmly. Consider the perspectives of others to gain a more objective view and explore alternative options. Reflect on your motivations to determine whether they benefit others or just yourself.

If you feel overwhelmed, step back momentarily; nothing is genuinely urgent. People are generally willing to wait for a better outcome. Additionally, value the power of a holding message, as it acknowledges the other person and shows they are heard and valued. This allows you to return later with a more thoughtful and helpful response.

Knowledge is power. Practice active listening to understand others' viewpoints, seek clarification on unclear points, and ask questions for better context. This builds situational awareness for your response. Balance emotion and logic when taking action. Consider the pros and cons of difficult decisions to guide your reasoning. Finally, find a way to progress and take action by balancing emotion and logic. Create a list of the pros and cons of any problematic decision to aid your reasoning.

After: Pause, Reflect and reassess your reaction.

·?????? Give yourself time to reflect on any response or feedback.

·?????? Ensure that unrelated emotions don’t cloud your judgment.

·?????? Viewing situations from a third-party perspective can help bring objectivity.

When faced with a challenging situation, it can be beneficial to pause before responding and reassess the circumstances. This applies both before responding—meaning that you should refrain from reacting impulsively to your own response or to someone else’s reaction—and after you’ve responded. Based on my recent setbacks, I’m committed to considering the following advice and implementing it: One effective strategy is to recognize how unrelated emotions may influence your judgment. It’s important to ensure that your current emotional state doesn’t distort your evaluation of potential outcomes. Additionally, visualizing the scenario from a third-party perspective can provide valuable insights and help you approach the situation more objectively. Remember to do this with kindness and avoid being overly critical of yourself. Again, remember that knowledge is power. Be authentic and demonstrate leadership by being open-minded, humble, and transparent. Ask for clarification if you are uncertain or confused. Engage with kindness, curiosity, and a willingness to learn, and be open to constructive feedback.

By employing these techniques, I aim to enhance my decision-making process and responses to various situations and ensure that the behaviours, decisions and actions I take are more rational and directly aligned with my values based on logic and clear decision-making.

My hope is that by sharing this insight, I can support others in cultivating a greater sense of authenticity in the future. I believe it's essential for our actions to truly reflect who we are, rather than being driven by uncontrolled emotions. Achieving this will require significant dedication and sustained effort in practice. A growth mindset, along with curiosity, kindness, and compassion, will be crucial as I engage in this reflective process and continuously seek improvement.

?

How could leaders actively develop this in practice to become more visibly authentic and accountable as leaders?

If you find yourself on a similar journey, consider contacting someone you trust. By employing effective techniques, you can enhance your decision-making process and responses to various situations. This ensures that your behaviors, decisions, and actions are more rational and directly aligned with your values, based on logic and clear reasoning. In doing so, you will cultivate a greater level of authenticity, ensuring that your actions genuinely reflect who you are rather than being driven by uncontrolled emotions. This will require a lot of dedication and sustained effort to practice.

A growth mindset, curiosity, kindness, and compassion will be essential for this reflective process as you continuously seek improvement. If you or others struggle with these concepts, reach out to a loved one, friend, colleague, or someone you trust and ask if you can practice these skills together. Work on active listening and clear, consistent communication techniques. Take a red teaming approach: analyse performance and reflect together on areas for improvement, considering what could be done differently and why to promote sustainable and lasting change.

Most importantly, be kind and patient with each other. Communication is an art that presents many barriers?and challenges. Practice different formats—written, audio, and visual—and adapt to various communication speeds, whether delayed or instant.

Ultimately, this collaboration will help you learn together from the experience. You should consider how regularly you will engage in this while managing expectations. This will ensure alignment between parties and their interests. Agreed code of conduct on levels of commitment, engagement, and feedback mechanisms for this practice.

Overall, such a practice between peers can support mutually shared goals as part of your commitment to ongoing professional development. Together, you can support one another to embrace communication challenges, have fun, and explore potential solutions. Overall it will contribute to both persons individually being able to cultivate strong, authentic growth mindset that you can demonstrate in action.

?