Authenticity: The Courage To Be Real

If it’s in our nature as human beings to be authentic, then why do some people succeed while others don’t? The answer isn’t simple; it could be a number of things.

When I first started my business nearly 47 years ago, my motivation to succeed was driven by fear—fear of not having a roof over my head—and by the responsibility I felt for the safety and security of another human being—my daughter. It was a drive to survive. To be honest, I had no idea how to run a business. But I knew one thing: work hard, take care of my clients to the best of my ability, and the money would follow. I lived by that philosophy for quite some time, and it served me well.

Michael Hall, in his book *Get Real -?Unleashing Authenticity, explains: "Probably the biggest thing that stops most people is fear. We’re afraid to get real because we may get rejected, criticised, laughed at, etc. We are afraid of standing out and being different. We are afraid of the unknown. Where will this lead? Fear is what mostly interferes because there are so many things a person can become afraid of—dangers and risks."

Here are a few barriers Michael Hall mentions that you may or may not relate to—things that might be holding you back from being real and authentic:

Our Culture:?As cultures develop, they offer people a way to fit in, dictating “the way we do things” at home, in business, and in the cities and countries where we live. These norms can prevent us from being authentic because we fear stepping outside of what is considered acceptable.

My own upbringing was very restricted. As migrants from Italy to Australia, my parents maintained the cultural norms they grew up with, which were very different from the social norms in Australia. I wasn’t allowed to do many things my school friends could, and I often felt like I was living in two different worlds.

Mis-information:?When we mis-understand something, it can mis-direct us. It muddies the waters of who we believe we are, who we should be, and how we should live. Questions like “What is the right or wrong way to conduct myself?” and “What does it mean for me to be authentic?” can lead to confusion. Does being authentic mean I’m selfish, egotistical, or immoral?

I recently started coaching a young woman who is afraid to be herself. To her, being who she authentically believes she could be would mean breaking the rules of her culture and being shunned by her family and religion. The thought of living authentically within the rules of her culture felt daunting and unachievable—until she began to challenge the assumptions she had created out of fear. Working through her fears has been a slow process, and at times, it feels unsafe. But by changing the way she looks at things, she is gradually changing what she sees, feels, and believes about her situation.

It Takes Effort and Responsibility:?Authenticity doesn’t just happen. We first have to understand it and then choose it. We must become resourceful and make the effort to do the work, rather than drift through life making excuses. Removing blocks and interference takes effort, and we all need guidance and direction. Playing a passive role or playing the victim is to be under-responsible and can stop us from achieving our highest potential.

It is human nature to develop man-made habits. We have an amazing capacity to learn new skills, desires, and responses that may feel unnatural at first until they become second nature. They become part of who we are. To become fully human, to become everything we can be, is to grow up.

When I first started coaching others, it didn’t come naturally to me. I was frightened of saying the wrong thing or giving the wrong advice. I was right out of my comfort zone and felt unnatural, even though I had spent my whole life teaching women. But coaching is not about teaching; it’s about listening, asking questions without judgment, and helping others find their own answers. It’s about developing skills, becoming emotionally intelligent, and growing into the person you are meant to be.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

• What are the blocks that are holding me back?
• How much do these blocks stop me from getting real and unleashing my full potential?
• What resources might I need to overcome them?

?My Thoughts:

It takes a lot of courage to live authentically, to step out of the shadows of fear and into the light of who you truly are. But remember, the journey is worth it. The more you embrace your true self, the more your potential will unfold. Don’t let fear or other peoples expectations keep you from living the life you want to live. It’s time to take that leap, knowing that on the other side, there’s a life of purpose, joy, and fulfillment waiting for you. Remember that it may not be easy and you maybe challenged— it's the challenges that help us grow.

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Ondina x