Is authenticity becoming another buzz word?

Almost a year ago now I took part in a video series providing advice to New Managers with IMNZ. In there I spoke about being yourself, and how important this is. As human beings we like to belong and feel accepted for being ourselves.

What authenticity is, and isn't, seems to be coming up a lot in the workshops, meetings, and courses I'm involved in at the moment, so again, as in my last article, I am feeling compelled to write.

I believe that to be ourselves we need to know ourselves and have a decent dose of self awareness about us. To me, this means that we are centred in what we stand for and value, and we understand how we are experienced by other people so that we can adapt to suit the person and the situation.

I have heard the words "well that's just me" spoken by lots of people- including me. Being authentic is not an excuse to be negative towards all views that do not match your own, or to treat people without kindness or respect.

I personally think that this is where the word authenticity is at risk of becoming another buzz word that we play bingo with during meetings.

So how do we be authentic about being authentic? Balancing being ourselves and being self aware, and where is the tipping point where we're then hiding who we really are?

I think it comes down to 3 things:

1) Know your personal values and triggers. I know, for example, that if a discussion purely focuses on numbers and profit my moderately altruistic, conscious capitalist self comes out in all of her glory (Oh the irony of her coming out when I'm saying I'm not about ego!). By knowing this I can adapt my reaction to remain open to the discussion and make sure that the lens of our people, customers, and community is not overlooked. If you don't know what they click here for a link to a Forbes article might help you.

2) Be vulnerable. For my Masters in Advanced Leadership I completed a thesis on storytelling. What this research showed me is that all to often in New Zealand (and for that matter this could apply to most countries I'd suggest) we don't tell our full story. You know the bits I'm talking about- the failures, the challenges, the risks, and the obstacles that you have had to overcome. Through my own experiences I know that vulnerability builds trust within a team, and this is echoed through numerous scholars and thought leaders. Now I'm not suggesting you share everything in a first meeting, but over time sharing elements of your own story that are relevant can ultimately lead to connection.

3) Choose to connect. To be ourselves we have to take a leap of faith to truly connect with people. Do you know the people you work with? What they value? If all you ever share with the people you're with is pleasantries about the weather and how busy you are I suggest that the richness of your connection may be limited and you may be losing out on an opportunity. Strong connections stay the course, not just when times are good, but especially when the inevitable challenges of life happen. Strong connections mean better quality discussions and outcomes, and encourage innovation and creativity.

If we choose to try these 3 things I think that the worst that can happen is that we get to know ourselves and the people we connect with a little better, and that can't be a bad thing.

Right? Well perhaps.... but it could also lead to some interesting realisations about mismatched values and fit. I'd argue that I'd rather be in that position, than continuing with the facade of connection or achievement that is only a veneer thick.

I would love to hear what you think.

#authenticleadership #storytelling #peoplefirst #connection #selfawareness