Authentic Authenticity

We’ve been hearing about this all over the place, “Be more authentic!” But come on…we’ve all thought about it! Is there such a thing as being too authentic? You know, TMI. 

And, do we really want EVERYONE to be authentic? I mean, I have an uncle and his “authenticity” freaks me out! We ask people to be authentic and then when some people, like my Uncle, show up we’re like, Oh crap, not HIS authentic! Think Jack Nicholson, constantly berating people, in “As Good As It Gets.”

I had a co-worker who’d always say, “I’m just being authentic.” Well, her authenticity wasn’t aligning with the core values of the organization, to the point of offending some of its clients. So, it begs the questions…Should everyone be “authentic” and what does it mean anyway? 

There are as many interpretations of authenticity as there are people. To add to it…Is how you are showing up really authentic or is it anxiety, fear, and/or insecurity masking itself as authenticity? And, are most people even able to discern the difference? My co-worker was not. It leaves me wondering, when authenticity is a guise how do we deal with it and should there be any boundaries around it?

Another example is the current political environment. There are a lot of people (give or take half our population) not wanting others to show up in their authenticity. So, what are we really trying to get at when we say people should be more authentic…? When it aligns with what WE want or support? When it conforms to OUR beliefs, desires, and agenda?

The fact of the matter is, if we really want authenticity, then we have to be willing to accept other’s authenticity imperfections and all. We must understand that not everyone will behave the way we want them to. We have to be open to things not being our preference or looking exactly the way we want it to look. Other’s authenticity will oftentimes conflict with our beliefs/values. This will happen! If we really want people to be more authentic are we capable of accepting some things that we may not prefer? Can you do this?

Based on the current unrest in our society, I’d say we’re not willing to take this step. I’d say we’re not willing to accept everyone right where they’re at. There is the very real wide-spread mentality of telling others, you “should” be this way…, say things like this…, and do things this particular way....

The concept of authentic authenticity deserves further consideration. What I will leave you with is, authenticity is not telling people every piece of information to the point where it becomes TMI. It’s also not about projecting your fear onto others. It’s about relating to each other as fellow humans differences and all. It’s about responding/reacting/expressing yourself in a manner that takes into account social and situational awareness and the greater good, even if it challenges you. 

Authenticity boils down to taking a good, close look at YOU. So before asking others to be more authentic, ask yourself…

Does this really have more to do with me and changes that are better made within myself?

And…What am I really looking for? 

• More open/honest conversations?
• The ability to express an aspect of you that you feel you can’t?
• To feel like there are no hidden agendas or nothing going on behind your back? 

This is a great opportunity for you to dig into what you’re wanting instead of focusing on what others need to be.