Audrey’s Tent: How a Dinner Party Creates a Tribe

I love throwing parties, soirees and Shabbat dinners. At 23 I was hosting big singles Shabbat dinners in my downtown San Diego loft. At 33 I was hosting smaller shabbat dinners for my husband, sons and a few friends. At 43 my beautiful Jewish community crumbled, I was divorced and homeless, renting Airbnb’s to be with my kids. By Yom Kippur I was living in my car, crying, and sitting in the driver’s seat with my siddur (prayer book). It felt like I had been cast into the desert. Except Jews do well in deserts. We thrive in deserts. That was the moment I created Audrey’s Tent.

What do you do when your tribe has vanished? As the old Jewish joke goes, “They tried to destroy us, they didn’t, let’s eat.”

I finally was able to buy a new home specifically chosen for its backyard space to host big dinners. I started hosting. And hosting. And hosting. In two years I’ve hosted and personally sponsored 21 Shabbat and holiday dinners attracting an average 50–75 people in their 30s to 60s. We have a facebook group of 365 members. Audrey’s Tent has become sacred place for older singles (30+) and divorced single parents like me who need a place for them and their children to celebrate the holidays. It feels like family.

I’d love you to be part of Audrey’s Tent and help us keep going and growing. Click to watch the video and give a tax deductible gift: https://www.jewcer.org/project/audreystent/

JEWS, FOOD & FAMILY

When I had the idea for Audrey’s Tent, I didn’t want to create an organization. I merely wanted to be a warm Jewish soul who opens my home to wandering singles Jews.

One reason I love being Jewish is the multitude of Jewish holidays which give me a reason to host a dinner party. Jewish tradition centers around meals we eat at home surrounded by loved ones, friends and new friends. The Bible calls ‘strangers’ although by the end of the meal they become friends.

In our 5000 year history, the Jewish people are a wandering tribe where we seek each other out in the farthest corners of the earth and we gather in “tents” to share a meal. Even today if you backpack through South East Asia or South America, you’ll find some Israelis to break bread and share some hummus.

FOOD CURES LONELINESS

Fast forward 25 years, post divorce. It was like I was 23 years old again. I hated being alone, missing my tribe and knowing the cure is hosting Shabbat dinner.

I had been lucky. I was married for 18 years, had three amazing sons and hosted Shabbat and Jewish holiday dinners in my “tent”. Every home we had I I could comfortably host at least 20 people for dinner.

I invited singles, young couples, families and Jewish strangers I’d meet in random places like the DMV or grocery store. I tweaked Jewish traditions to make my own. On Passover, adults at my house perform a theatrical production of Exodus with costumes and props including buckets of plagues for the kids to throw at the Biblical characters.

Every Jew who knew me, knew they were invited for dinner for every Jewish holiday. I never wanted a Jew to feel lonely as a Jew. Now once again, I was that lonely Jew.

LIGHT FROM THE DARKNESS, PAIN INTO PURPOSE

I remember right after I got separated I ran into a friend who had been coming to my house for holiday meals for 15 years. She didn’t know the darkness I was in. She innocently asked, “How are you?”

I answered the way you’re never supposed to when life sucks,

“Terrible, my marriage is over and I’m homeless.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry! That’s terrible.” Then she paused and said, “Oh no if you’re homeless…where will I go for Break the Fast?”

I gave the fakest smile I could muster, “If you find a place, let me know.”

Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, came that year and I found myself in my car crying alone over my prayer book.

I was angry. Not at my situation, divorce happens, I was angry at myself. I’m not weak, I don’t cry or feel hopeless. I transform my pain into purpose.

I knew that if I felt alone as a Jew, there must be hundreds who felt the same. I hated to think so many members of my tribe felt disconnected from it.

G-d gave me this devastating moment as a gift to remind me how meaningful is for me to open my home to those who have nowhere to go.

TENT AND TRIBE

I wanted to host even though I didn’t have a home. I literally thought of buying a tent and hosting a Shabbat dinner in it, but I couldn’t afford to. I had an expensive divorce lawyer.

Eventually, I rented an apartment and I started hosting again. It was hard. My pride got in the way. I used to have a big beautiful home, now I was in a cramped place. But I knew my guests were happier laughing around my folding table in the glow of the Shabbat candles versus being home alone.

I still worried it was too expensive to host Shabbat dinners, but I knew that was wrong. Jewish wisdom says when it comes to honoring Shabbat, you must not be stingy and worry about your livelihood. Whatever money you spend towards the honor and celebration of Shabbat and the Jewish holidays will be repaid by the Almighty.

I tried to explain this idea to my Jewish financial advisor. She thought I was nuts. That is, until she was a guest at one of my wild Passover Seders and her man was cast as Aaron, Moses’ brother, in the Exodus play. She got it, the experience was priceless for them and the other families who came.

Through the long, painful process of divorce and custody battles, I never stopped hosting. My three sons needed to see that through life’s ups and downs, you could always look forward to Shabbat. I planned that I would buy a house immediately after the divorce was final.

I knew the house was first and foremost a sanctuary for my boys and me. Second it would be a big open Tent specifically for primarily single Jews to find community, spirituality and love around my table.

I did it. My divorce was final on a Monday and by that Friday, with my family’s help, I was in escrow for a fabulous home that would soon be known as Audrey’s Tent.

HOW YOU CAN GET INVOLVED

I’m so grateful the impact Audrey’s Tent has made for many Jewish singles. I’m doing my part and hope I can inspire others to do the same. Yet I realize one reason why others may not. It is expensive! Providing gourmet, kosher, four course meals served in a elegant setting is costly. I plan to never ask my guests to pay. Even if they’re strangers, they’re guests in my home.

So my friend Amir Give’On, created Jewcer, a Jewish crowdfunding website for this purpose. His vision is to create an umbrella 501 C-3 non profit that allows Jewish leaders to have a platform to fundraise for unique projects and make the donations tax deductible.

Since I’m known as the “CrowdFundDiva” as my day job is to raise millions of dollars for Israeli and global startups via my company OurCrowd, I decided to try Jewcer. I launched a crowdfunding campaign to raise money to support the growth and continuation of Audrey’s Tent.

Check it out! Click https://www.jewcer.org/project/audreystent/ to learn more, watch the video and give. If you’re moved, please donate to Audrey’s Tent. If you’re inspired, please share it with others. If you know a foundation or philanthropist who would support it, introduce me. If you know anyone who would donate paper goods, connect me. I am grateful for your help.

Most of all, remember as the week starts to come to the end, think who you can invite to your home for a Shabbat dinner and turn your dinner party into a tribe.

Here is what people say about Audrey’s Tent:

“I found the love of my life at Audrey’s Tent! Audrey reached out to me when I just arrived to San Diego. I got to know most of my friends through her events, had business collaborations and always knew I have a loving place to go to. The power of a group can help people feel loved and get support to keep going. Audrey’s Tent is exactly that!“ Einav Miller

“My favorite thing about the tent is the inclusion of kids on high holidays, especially the ones who are raised in homes where Judaism is not celebrated. Audrey’s Tent gives single parents the opportunity to expose their children to the Jewish holidays and traditions in a fun active way, meet and interact with other Jewish kids and enhance their Jewish identity.” Shira Shasho

“It’s really great to get together with other Jews, to sing, eat, laugh and talk, knowing that we are all here invited in a warm house, with no expectations and no stress! I love it!!! Anna Weltman

“Audrey’s Tent and its namesake makes a difference in people’s lives. After my mother passed away I had the privilege to attend and it made me realize what my mother had always told me; There’s something special, something magical, about your connection to your fellow Jews. I never appreciated this until Audrey opened her heart and her home to me.” Ely Moyal

“I love attending Audrey’s Tent events as it allows me to continue to meet many walks of life within the Jewish community I may not have had an opportunity to meet before. The food and Torah discussions are all wonderful. It reminds me why being Jewish is such a privilege. My heart has been filled with much love. You are a special soul to open your home, heart, & pocket to so many. Thank you! It shows others why giving back is important. Kathryn Schiller

Please click here to give a tax-deductible meaningful donation to Audrey’s Tent and help make the world a smaller, more connected home.

Follow Audrey Jacobs (crowdfunddiva) to learn more on investing in startups, life and the world: Facebook — Twitter — LinkedIn