The Audience is On Your Side

If you’re looking for ways to ease anxiety around public speaking, here is my #1 go-to: Your audience wants you to do well.

We really, really do. Your anxious, over-active brain may be playing all sorts of games that make it feel as if you’re about to be thrown to the lions, but in truth we’re a bunch of wooly-eared lambs rooting for you to succeed.

As humans and as audiences, we tend to be empathetic. It’s our default setting. In fact, a University of Virginia study concluded that we are hardwired to be sympathetic, and that “… one of the most defining features of humanity is our capacity for empathy – the ability to put ourselves in others’ shoes.”

As audience members, many of us have indeed been in your shoes, standing behind a podium, full of jitters and just-get-me-through-this-ism. And if we haven’t had the experience yet, we can imagine what it must be like.

We want you to knock it out of the park, for reasons both empathetic – and selfish.

We care and feel connected. Yes, we do care and are sending all the good, supportive vibes to the stage. We relate to the fact that public speaking can be intimidating. We get it. Because buried deep within our cranial tunnels are memories of piano recitals, oral book reports, quarterly sales reports and wedding toasts. It’s an instinctive, intuitive go-to that puts us squarely on Team Speaker. So when you succeed, we do, too. And the applause you hear at the end of your presentation is accompanied by what you don’t hear: a collective sigh of relief, joy and triumph.

We’re invested. But we’re also sitting in these uncomfortable hotel chairs with the goal of being informed, enlightened and entertained. We’re interested in the material, the experience, the takeaways we’ll leave with – and what’s for lunch. Speakers stress and worry about the fact that ‘all eyes are on them.’ Well, rest a bit easier knowing that our eyes, minds and attention are going in lots of different directions. And that we are far more interested in the riveting points you’re making than if you seem nervous. We want you to succeed to confirm our good judgment and validate our decision to attend.

We see the best in you. Finally, here’s another bit of statistical safety net for you. Do you remember the old slogan – never let them see you sweat? Well, not to worry, because we don’t see, and we don’t care!

Research shows that audiences do not perceive the level of anxiety that speakers report feeling. Let that sink in and know that it’s true. Think back to a time when you congratulated a speaker when they returned to their seat, and being surprised when they confessed how nervous they were. But to you, they appeared cucumber-cool. That’s you, too! Audiences tend to appraise speakers as less anxious than the speakers rate themselves. So no need to confess, apologize or even acknowledge the butterflies.

Now go get ‘em – we’re rooting for you!