An attraction, not promotion, kinda deal.

Every time I send this email out on The Whole Collective Substack, I get some unsubscribes. Which I totally get, but the way this old perception thing works for me most of the time, is that I can only see the negative.?

But then my friend Lauren tells me her mum gets my emails and she bloody loves ‘em.?

And all I needed was that one piece of feedback to know this is worth my time.

IT’S THE WHOLE POINT.?

So Esther. Lauren’s mum. Hi. I’m writing to you. You and you alone. How’s the weather in Vancouver right now??

This validation thing. It’s really a thing. That miniscule feedback that says, yeah, this is good. Keep going. We don’t want to need it, but damn it feels good.?

But it got me thinking. How do you get to this point where you don’t care about feedback anymore? Where you don’t need to question how valuable you think something is??

In my recruiting business I’ve had referrals from clients to more work. That feels damn good.?

I’ve got encouraging feedback about my music and writings in other ways. Again, it feels good.?

I’m exploring the idea of how dependent I am on this need for validation. It’s something I’m working on. At what point do I stop doubting myself at a debilitating level?

Someone says they’re picking up what I’m putting down. The business comes in. The money rolls. The song gets plays. The man’s actions show he’s into me. Feedback from the universe… It's all a journey in trusting what I’m doing. In trusting myself.?

>>>> THIS WAY. KEEP GOING. >>>>

And holding that centre point of KNOWING what I’m creating is valuable, before any universal feedback has arrived…. OOOHH baby that’s some tension right there.

We’ve been lifting some weights in that department. The one of vision, of belief, of faith.

A long intro Esther. Bear with me.?

Because this all brings me back to value. To values. One and the same.

I keep preaching about values in my work, but I really DO believe it’s the future. In how we collectively shift towards what we value, and how that materialises in what we create in the world. Yes that includes monetary value, but not exclusively.

My number one currency is connection. Connection to others, community, to self. To the big bang of creation that wants to be birthed through us. To God.?

I sense that value most palpably of all, when I’m in community, building and connecting people to others. Businesses to people. A dot connecter of all sorts. It turns me on like there’s no tomorrow!?

You came to the first Whole Collective event Esther. You saw what it was like. An un-namable energy in many ways. People meeting and really connecting with other awesome humans. It was electric. We didn’t make money out of that event, but it was valuable A. F.?

Should I tone down the acronyms, Esther??

I moved to LA in 2016 with Tom, my business partner at the time, to set up the first US office for a 300 person London based, tech recruiting firm.?

We had 6 bags. A guitar. A place to stay on Airbnb, and a long list of UK contacts that might mildly be able to connect us to people out here.?

Building a business from scratch is mighty work. This is a place that chews you up and spits you out, but we spent those first few months going on an insane number of coffee meetings.?

Just meet people. Get in front of them. See if they have any jobs you can help with. Recruiting, wheeeww, what a game. We were both charming as hell, and with numbers on our heads from the UK, there was no option but to dive right in.?

Like most consulting businesses, there isn’t that much that differentiates us from others. Sure, we like to say there is in our marketing docs, but if you’re good at what you do, which in this case was finding really good talent for high growth tech and media businesses, there are a lot of other companies who can do what we do, too.?

And yes, we were really good at that (still am, I might add), but the thing that we really had going for us is that we were hella likeable. It’s an asset I’ll use gladly.?

Clients could have worked with any recruiting firm. But ultimately, most folks want to work with people they like. Sales is really quite simple. Be likeable.?

Urgh. It pains me to type that.

Over time, we realised that there might be a better way to approach business development. One that didn’t feel so “choose me, pick me, like me!!”

Tom had this beautiful house in Venice with a killer backyard. I was working with Sofar Sounds at the time, as a way to meet folks (still at a time when being a musician is what other people did).?

We started hosting these nights in his backyard. “Garden Sounds in Venice” we called it. 3 musicians, a comedy host. And then personal invitations to the execs of the companies we wanted to be working with - all the cool growth startups and investors.?

So they roll in. We have beer, pizza from Gjelina. String lights and killer sounds. Me and Tom are in HOST mode. How much VALUE can we create for each person. In the currency of connection it’s, “You gotta meet this person, and this person….” Connecting the dots. Maybe those connections led to business deals, or friendships or romantic liaisons…. It didn’t matter to us, we were just connecting wherever it felt relevant, and the way each connection was valuable was left in the hands of the powers that be

People had a blast. This wasn’t an average networking evening. The positive feedback is that they kept coming back.

Slowly but surely, business started to roll in.

We had created something VALUABLE and people wanted to be part of it. They wanted to be part of our community, and the fact that they could work with us on the recruiting side became almost a by product.?

Money wasn’t the focus. Value was. But money came as a result.

Build it and they will come, we hear. Create something valuable and the people arrive. THAT is the way I personally want to do business. Attraction. Not promotion.

So with that in mind, I relaunched that event series again. I thought it was just going to be a music evening, but the more it develops, I realise that for ME, it’s really about the people in the room.?

I want to create a space where people building businesses, and creatives and folks who are participating in LIFE in an exciting way, come together and meet and commune and imbibe. Although no beers this time, these are intentionally non-bev affairs for now.?

Community. The real kind. My god if that isn’t what we all need I don’t know what is.?

I’m co-hosting another on Friday in partnership with the Middle of Nowhere shop in Venice. And yeah I know this is technically promotion, but I already believe in the value of what we’re creating SO much that I won’t need to shout about it from the rooftops soon.

The last one at the beginning of the month sold out, we still have tickets for this one. LA folks, I have learnt, myself included, like to keep their options open.

Tickets available here.

Esther, I’d really love some feedback. Much love to Vancouver in the meantime.?

—Holly Gottlieb (Founder, Whole Collective)