Attraction

I have always been fascinated by what makes a person or a thing attractive. Equally so, why am I attracted to someone or something, when others are totally unaffected? It seems clear that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder.

For me, it has been cars and women. Both of these have beguiled me over the years and my great discovery is that appearance is actually quite far down the list when it comes to attraction.

As an example, do you remember a TV show way back in the day, called “Our House”? It was a typical, American, family drama series about a young family, whose father dies and they ended up moving in with a grandfather. While the grandfather was everyone’s ideal of a wise, slightly grumpy man, who always came to the rescue just before the credits rolled, my attention was on the actress who played the mother.

She was tall, blond, willowy and had absolutely perfect features. Yet, here was I, a teenager full to the brim with hormones, totally oblivious to her charms. At a later stage, I noticed the same effect (or lack of effect) with Nicole Kidman. Before she started doing weird things with her eyebrows, I thought she was absolutely gorgeous. I even sat through “Eyes Wide Shut”, all in the name of research of course. Yet I never felt any attraction for any of her screen characters.

Yet I have seen Meryl Streep and Jane Fonda light up on the big screen (both opposite Robert DeNiro) and I don’t think I’ve ever watched Cate Blanchett in anything without being enchanted by her at some point. So I guess those advertisers who yearned for “Sally O’Brien and the way she might look at you” were correct. Beauty is not skin deep; it comes from within.

Cars are another mystery. Back in the 1990’s-2000’s, British motorsport fans were fixated on the Subaru Impreza Turbo. It was a typical, Japanese, saloon car, not great to look at and capable of eye-watering fuel consumption. But it was what Colin McRae used to win the World Rally Championship in 1995. Later, in 2001, it did the same for Richard Burns.

Have a look at the original Audi Quattro (the Ur-Quattro). Again, not an eye-catching car, but it was what propelled Hannu Mikkola (1983) and Stig Blomqvist (1984) to World Championship glory. Another example: Ferrari’s 312-T Formula 1 car was no oil painting, but it provided Niki Lauda with the World Championship in 1975. Unfortunately, its successor, the 312-T2, nearly killed him at the N?rburgring the following year. So history and achievement is also attractive.

All this has implications for anyone who seeks to be attractive. Cosmetics and, indeed, cosmetic surgery, are not going to make you attractive. Neither are expensive clothes, jewellery and cars. But radiate enthusiasm, excitement and a sense of purpose and people will be drawn to you.

In fact, when I found myself managing teams, I suddenly understood why job ads always wanted enthusiastic people. They make life so much easier. Instead of being a propeller, your role becomes a tiller – guiding the person, rather than pushing them. People who are interested and engaged are much easier to work with than people who have no enthusiasm at all.

It is argued in motorsport that you can make a fast driver safe, but you cannot make a safe driver fast. Similarly, you can train someone to do a task competently but, for best results, find someone who wants to do the work.

I have often wondered why people spend money to visit zoos, when there is so much more to be gained from people-watching. I have spent more than enough time in airports and there you can see the full spectrum of humanity. There are the jetlagged travellers, who just want to get home; there are the professional travellers, who are glued to their phones – moving and shaking - and there are the holidaymakers, who are excited and fizzing with anticipation. Which of these are the most attractive do you think?

Strangely enough, I find the executive traveller interesting in that they exude a sense of purpose. They stride confidently, leaving bored passers-by (well me anyway) wondering what is so important and where are they going. It is the same with the holidaymaker. They remind me of children let out of school. But the jaded, long-haul traveller, all red-eyed and deep-vein thrombosis, is certainly not attractive. Maybe this is a defence mechanism? When you’re on your last legs, the last thing you want to do is attract someone’s attention.

When the Swedish duo, Roxette, informed us in 1989 that “she’s got the look”, they must have been thinking on the same lines. Having “the look” doesn’t mean having the looks. Interestingly, “the look” is only seen by certain people. This is why, when I drive a Ford Capri, most onlookers will see an ancient sports car with a disturbing air of chest wigs and medallions. All the time I’m channelling its inner Zakspeed racer, enchanted by its Deutsche Rennsport Meisterschaft victory in 1981.

Maybe we should say beauty is in the mind of the beholder?