Attracting vs Trying to "Be Attractive"

Happy Monday friends! Today's?Newsletter?is all about?Attracting vs. Trying to Be Attractive! Below you'll find:

• A thought
• A quote
• A Tip
• A Resource
• And a Win from the week

A THOUGHT TO CONTEMPLATE

I have had a handful of clients who are in their young adult lives, either getting into college or getting out

college, who needed support on the topic of relationships, social connection, and even finding the "one".

Across the various conversations, there seems to be a common thread:?

Toxic concerns and limiting beliefs about how "unattractive" they are.?

Which blends into the struggle to "be attractive".?

But what does that even mean - to "be attractive"?!?

Well it means we do the things that we think will attract a certain category of person, certain "type" of individual.

We pretend to care about certain topics, wear certain clothing, present ourselves in certain ways, like certain music, TV shows, and carry certain beliefs and judgements, all in the hope that we become attractive to this category of person we hope to find us attractive.?

We buy into this formula and an expectation gets set.

If I do XY then Z is supposed to happen.??

And two realities play out:

1. It doesn't work and so we continue to push the envelope and over-commit to the point where we are no longer ourselves, but a projection of a character we hope others will value
2. It works and we fake it, getting to the prestige and class we are hoping for, but ultimately in our quiet moments run into the cognitive dissonance and disconnect that is caused from being someone were are not, consciously knowing that we are being someone else

?Many of us, have spent or are spending so much effort and energy trying to "be attractive" and don't allow

ourselves to naturally attract others to us.?

?Meaning:?

When you focus on being YOU, being authentic, honest, open, the emittance of that energy will be picked up on by those that we are truly meant to connect with.

This is not only in the romantic sense but also in the plutonic space as well.?

We're talking "soul mates", "true loves", "friends for life".?

Because it is natural, not artificial.?

It is "meant to be" and real.?

We convince ourselves, based on social "standards" and status, and the high degree of value that we place in that, that our social value, standing, and prestige will amplify by being in relationship, in partnership, and friendship with certain types of people.

Rich, famous, influential, physically attractive (to our social standards), etc.

When we go from?valuing status to valuing connection, from?valuing prestige to valuing true partnership, we begin to see the strategic significance of being ourselves.

The fastest, most effective way of attracting the spaces, people, and opportunities that align with our true self, our true powers, gifts, and energy, is literally by being yourself as much as possible.

That doesn't necessarily mean saying everything that comes to your mind in every moment, but?leading your life, in as many areas of your life (professionally, personally, socially, academically, financially, spiritually, relationally, athletically, etc.) with the values, gifts, and passions that are unique to you

AND?not being intimidated and scared off?by the moments where you meet friction, detachment, and contradiction from others who don't align or in an emotionally unintelligent fashion, dismiss your uniqueness as "weird", "off", "bad", "sad" or "not cool", whether through direct verbiage or sublimnal responses.?

Don't run from being yourself in those moments!! Those are the very moments that define that that individual is not meant for you OR that they are not ready for you in that point of their life.

Take it as information and continue exploring the world of connection, with your energy on high-emittance.?

Not being yourself WILL get tiring. It WILL get fatiguing. It WILL get boring. It WILL get depressing. It WILL get disconnecting.

Check in on what you are really after when thinking about the subject of relationship and partnership in your life.?

Are you after true connection, or are you after the perception of value that will come from linking yourself with a certain "clique" of person???

If you desire?true?connection, being your?true-self?is the only way??

A QUOTE I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING

?"Energy attracts like Energy"

?TIP OF THE WEEK

The greatest investment in your future is re-learning to be you

?RESOURCES I HAVE BEEN PUMPED ABOUT?

VIDEO - THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

?WINS FROM THE WEEK

One of my clients, who is on his way to becoming a professional downhill enduro mountain biker, was recently picked to be sponsored by a major extreme-sports company! He is mastering his mindset and authentic-self, and it is amazing to be a part of as his Mindset Coach!!?

________________________

If you are interested in learning more about coaching, know you need support and want to get started, or if you want to take advantage of a FREE 30-minute session, message me directly using the link below!

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In my coaching process, I help you to maximize your mindsets, consciously control your choices, and tap into your energetic potential all by increasing your awareness and autonomy over:

?Your common thought patterns, beliefs, and perceptions

?Your common emotional and energetic responses

?Your behavioral patterns and actions

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I then help to apply a filtration process, removing what doesn't align and doesn't work for you, keep what does, so it becomes more efficient and attainable to create the changes and the systems of success YOU want to create!

By tapping into your mindset and your neuroscience, energies, and behaviors I can help you clarify that which is serving and useful, while releasing that which is not!!

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Whether through service or reminder, my goal is to help people be consciously, authentically, and energetically alive, control stress and judgment, and maximize joy, passion, creativity, wisdom, and productivity