Attracting True Love?

Does true love really exist? And if so, what common beliefs do individuals have to create such a beautiful, harmonic union?

Sometimes, people can be bad at knowing what they want (or need) in a relationship. Most of the time, society says to let romance be the guide.

Instead of shining the flashlight outward, staggering around blankly looking for “the one”, shine it inward. Look for the qualities you want in another in yourself. If you’ve had past relationships problems, possibly even a cycle of them, find the common denominator.

Then, look within you and find the darkness that needs the light.

It can be challenging to know what the signs are that he could be the one. You might have been in a long-term relationship before…or even married for years, but that doesn’t mean you’ve actually in true love .

But even if you’ve never truly been in love, you probably have had a best friend before. Right? That’s the gauge I want you to use to decide if he’s showing signs he’s “the one”.

Think about your best friend now or in the past. Think of all of the attributes of that friendship. You can trust your best friend. She makes you laugh. She gives advice when you want it and keeps quiet when you don’t. She challenges you to be a better person.

Now think about the relationship you’re in. Does it have similar qualities? Ask yourself:

Does he really care about me?

Is he interested in the things that I do in my life?

Do we have the chemistry that I’ve had with other best friends in my life?

If you look at your relationship and realize, yes, he’s like a best friend, then this is a good indicator that it’s a great relationship, and it’s one of the signs he’s the one!

I’ve seen it time and time again: women going for guys based on what they look like on paper, while in reality, they’re not that attracted to them. There’s just no spark.

My advice is to look for that spark. It might not happen on the first date, but if you’re not feeling it by the second, then move on, because, as good as this guy looked on paper, there’s not that chemistry you need for a sustainable relationship. I know it can be frustrating to have a great guy in front of you and not feel those butterflies, but you can’t force chemistry.

A friend from college who you barely talk to asks you to help her move across town.

Which one are you more likely to want to do?

Probably help your boyfriend.

Why?

Because although it’s a pain to help anyone move, you think that “cost” is worth it because you really care about him.

A 2015 study carried out by psychologists at Japan’s Kobe University found that relationships where this kind of behaviour, these costly commitment signals, was either absent or infrequent/

That makes sense, right?

If you’re unwilling to give yourself and your time, it’s probably because you don’t see things working out long-term with this guy.How does this man you’re with stack up?If you immediately were like, “yeah, he totally uses “we” and he’s my best friend!” then there’s a good chance that this man is the man.

But what if you’re scrambling to try to see those signs he’s the one…and coming up short?

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.  

Thank you …I understand that you are ready to let love into your life, I absolutely don’t want you to settle for the wrong guy I know you’re impatient, but sadly you will never be able to force this guy to be Mr. Right.

I encourage you to end this relationship if it’s not sparking that magic that it should. You need to free yourself up so that when the right man comes along, you’re available and ready for him.

Of course, every relationship has it’s difficult times. That’s life.

The struggles help us learn and grow. But, to believe in the ability to have a caring, supportive, loving partner that can be there for us unconditionally is important. In fact, it’s vital for us to believe and align ourselves with the truth of that reality to be able to attract it and live it.

Want to add word or two?

So much of the advice provide us about suggestions for increasing our sex appeal or finding “the right one” focuses on how we need to re-make ourselves to be more attractive or more desirable to others.

Your comment ….?

Just Smile

It’s been shown that women who smile are likely to be viewed as more sexually attractive to men than women who display expressions indicating pride, shame, or neutrality.

From their earliest years, girls are encouraged to “smile for the camera,” and it appears that this directive is likely to be based in cultural norms.

Men prefer women who look happy. However, that smiling was a plus for women seeking men's approval, it was found that happy-faced men were less attractive to women than those who wore expressions denoting pride or shame.

There is clearly a gender -based division in the assessment of attractiveness, men prefer women who look happy to be with them while women prefer men who are showing more complex emotional expressions.

Whether a woman is looking for the “bad boy” who is asking for forgiveness for his actions or a man who feels good about himself, a bland smile or pleasant expression was clearly a losing choice in the completion.

However, in terms of long-term relationship success, most of us want to partner up with a person who experiences happiness and life satisfaction in the same chronological arc that we do.

If your smiling partner is laughing at the life events that you find heart wrenching or is showing pride in being hurtful, the relationship is unlikely to last for long.

First impressions matter, but it's important to move beyond the facial expressions and listen to your heart and trust your instincts when it comes to early interactions. 

Be Interested or Interesting?

We are often told to “be interested” in the stories of potential romantic partners.

Well, what if you flip that advice and work at being interesting, yourself?

What if you re-think your own value as an individual and focus on doing things in your life that are engaging and interesting rather than simply feigning interest in another?

It can be exhausting to try and be riveted by another person’s singular interest in pre-WWII science fiction, especially when you aren’t sure if Isaac Asimov and Jules Verne were fictional characters, scientists, or writers.

Be Mindful

True and lasting love and romantic satisfaction can also be supported and enhanced through a personal mindfulness practice.

Taking time to be present, to reflect and be still before reacting to events, and to be comfortable being in contemplation all support long-term relationship satisfaction.

Accept Yourself – Body, Mind, and Soul

In addition, the more satisfaction we take in our physical appearance, the higher the level of sexual satisfaction we take in our long-term relationships.

Your Eye won't wander if you've found the Right One?

It’s an interesting revelation that people are able to "program themselves" to avoid relationship threats from potential sexual partners who are not their romantic partner.

The more likely it is that your own partner is judged as attractive to other rivals for his affection, the easier it is for you to ignore potential rivals for your own attention.

 When we have the best catch, we are programmed to keep our eyes and hearts trained on him, not other less “in demand” potential mates.

So, if you find yourself ignoring individuals that would have caught your eye before, it may be that on a deep level, you know you’ve hit your personal romantic jackpot.

Trust your instincts and attend to the person with whom you are building a relationship.