Attitude...Our Most Important Creation
Brian R. Martens
Mythmaker | Poet/Author | Creativity Facilitator | International Speaker | Podcaster
We like to think we are objective in our thinking and that what we see everyday is reality. This is an illusion, Yes an illusion. We each have a different perception of reality, a reality we create everyday and our assumption is that everyone has a similar perception, the truth is that, they do NOT.
We all see the world through our own particular lens. We can say this lens through which we look forms our attitude. Carl Jung, the great Swiss psychologist defined attitude this way: “Attitude is a readiness of the psyche to act or react in a certain way…To have an attitude means to be ready for something definite, even though this something is unconscious.”
In my articles and podcasts, (The Spoken Symbol) the three pillars of learning are awareness, transformation, and deep intuition. Attitudes color these concepts and learning guides and can help or hinder our moving to the next level of effectiveness. We understand that being aware of our patterns increases our ability to transform our conditions and therefore allows the deep intuition we are looking for to increase our joy and happiness.
During the course of a regular day our minds respond to thousands of thoughts, actions, and events and we react subconsciously to all this stimuli. If we are more sensitive to certain stimuli we tend to identify with those feelings and our attitude follows that unconscious line of thinking without us realizing it. For example, if we react more strongly with sadness or negativity we will look for those signs in facial expressions or articles in the news that confirm our sadness or negativity. These subtle actions and thoughts each day draw us into that state of being. That is the unconscious part that Jung recognized. We experience the after affects like a mood or emotional background without asking why we always feel this way. We develop our attitudes through family interactions and patterns without knowing it consciously. We are like fish in water. Fish don’t know they are in water, this is the environment they live in and they accept it.
We can witness attitudes in action if, for example, we take a hike with friends. Some people are more conscious of the clothing they wear and the weather. Some are more worried about whether there will be enough water and snacks. Others will want to hike as long as possible while some will have a definite time to leave. Each person has their own attitude about hiking, the length of the hike, how dangerous the hike may be, etc. All your previous encounters with hiking and the fear or excitement of hiking affect your attitude. Maybe you fell hiking as a child, or your parents hated to hike because it was just a hassle with all the kids. Subconsciously, there is an undertone in your mind of all these events and you act accordingly.
Our basic attitude comes from our family of origin. The genetic imprint has much to do with our outlook in life. Were your parents strict and critical or loving and expansive? Generally, attitudes can be negative or fearful or positive and expansive with many varieties and blends in between. Those with a negative attitude usually operate in a more fearful mode whereas those with a positive attitude have more of an open, expansive, and trusting outlook on life. Certainly, we all have moments of joy and happiness as well as fear and sadness but generally we either look at the world in an open or closed way and that is the lens we look through.
In this study of human nature or the human condition as I prefer to say. Our lives appear to be more of a condition than our nature. Our true self or our authentic self is usually buried within and it takes work, exploration, and awareness to find it. Many spiritual traditions recognize two patterns that can take us out of our authentic self. They are usually patterns of denial and patterns of indulgence. Every human being experiences these patterns at some time in their life.
We can express denial when we see things only as we want to see them rather than as they are and when we avoid certain people or issues. Under this pattern is a fear that we will not be able to handle conflict and there is a need to maintain peace or harmony. When we are deeply in denial we abandon ourselves to maintain the peace rather than to directly communicate our feelings.
With the pattern of indulgence, we sensationalize or dramatize our situation. Often we look for attention in any way we can conjure it. This pattern expresses a high need for approval and acceptance because these people are terrified by their own feelings of insecurity or vulnerability. They can use exaggeration as a way to hide these uncomfortable feelings. Focusing on our unlimited and infinite creativity can free us of these patterns and bring us back to our real authentic self. Without feeling right or wrong we can recognize our learning capacity is tied to our creativity which is boundless and makes no mistakes.
According to Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) practitioners, there are three major things that keep us separate from our authentic selves:
- Unconscious beliefs: Most of our beliefs are in place between the ages of 3–6 years old. Many of our beliefs are also unconscious and enter us from family dynamics and patterns which we adopt because of love for our mother and father. We do this to survive. The brain is fully functioning in men and women between the ages of 20–30 years old. Possibly as late as 35. But without looking again at our childhood beliefs, questioning them, and re-defining them we are left with an inaccurate view of reality as an adult. One way to re-assess your beliefs is to ask yourself these three questions, (1) what has happened in your life around money, (2) what has happened in your life around love and relationships, and (3) what has happened in your life around health? Asking these three questions will give you clues as to where your beliefs have taken you in these important areas of your life. You will discover if your patterns were repeated by your siblings and if they are a mirror image of your parents beliefs and outcomes.
- Sense of self-worth: What is your sense of self-worth and is it mirrored in the statements you heard about yourself from your parents. Usually this is the case. Statements like, “you get what you deserve,” and “you have to work hard to be successful,” are typical. Each generation can put a different twist on the beliefs we adopt and it usually comes from our family. The negative self talk we hear ourself tell ourself is with us so early we rarely question it until we have some kind of peak experience or a wise friend affirms our value and worthiness. This is usually adult work where we find cracks in our belief system and we start to seek the truth.
- Unconscious family loyalty: According the the NLP practitioners this is one of the hardest to breakthrough since it is deeply attached to our ancestors, lineage, and culture. The longer the culture has been around and the more different their beliefs are, the more difficult it is to change those beliefs. We limit ourselves by our family patterns because we want to be the same as them in our early childhood. We want to belong to survive. In most cultures to be ostracized means death. Again, these loyalties are mostly unconscious. To remedy this it is best to identify with those relatives and ancestors that have died because ancestors love assignments and have all the time and love in the world to help those on the other side. Rather than push against the family and beliefs still alive focus on those that have passed and can support you in your meditations and affirmations releasing the negative beliefs and patterns.
In your awareness of your “human condition,” can you recognize how your attitude affects your perceptions? Do you judge people harshly because your parents judged people over the dinner table, or are you accepting of other people and their problems and difficulties. Do you blame others for situations YOU have created? Do you dread change or the unexpected?
When you have an idea of what your attitude is then and only then are you able to begin to make the changes you want. Then, you can begin to transform your attitude into your desired outcome.
The other important aspect of changing your attitude is believing it can happen. You are the creator and now that you realize your attitude was largely fashioned while you were a young child, you must believe you can create it differently and let go of the old habits and ways of thinking that are not you. Your creative powers are waiting to be unleashed upon the world. You are not a fixed being. Your body and mind have changed since you were a child and it is time NOW to create what you want, to change the lens of perception into a positive, expansive view of life and your abilities. Your attitude affects your wealth and your health. Your attitude is a self-fulfilling dynamic. Be aware and transform.
And, as I have mentioned in previous articles and podcasts, it is our responsibility to focus on what IS working in our life more than what is NOT working in our lives. We must express our boundless creativity to the world. We have time for learning and self development as well as having fun and doing exciting and adventurous activities. We must have a balanced life and do both. Eat good food, exercise, and have a daily practice of giving back, gratitude, or meditation.
The poem for this episode is about the attitude of aloneness. I found the root word of alone comes from the Middle English to mean “all one.” It’s an interesting example of how words change over time and how meanings change with them. Enjoy, the metaphorical language of poetry.
Attitude of Aloneness
Aloneness is not lonely.
Aloneness is the mind and body going inward
to the place of being all in one.
Alone with your own thoughts, your own being
the source of all things.
Alone in Middle English means, “all one”
derived from the feeling of being, “All One”
a fertile place of beginning to know
trusting the “all one”
belonging to the “all one.”
Today has left out the “all one” from alone.
The attitude changed
being all one to being alone
the whole to the singular.
Being the Lone Ranger, individual, solo
making it on our own, by ourselves.
Not like indigenous cultures, together in community.
The attitude of aloneness is not lonely.
The twenty-first century world asks to pull up
by your own bootstraps, be an individual
stand out from the crowd.
I want to be alone in One with all of it.
Lifting all humanity as one,
not leaving anyone alone but all one.
Throwing out the new meaning of alone
to bring about togetherness and community again.
The ancestors are waiting for an assignment
they are ready to bring aloneness back to all in one.
They are waiting…
Thank you for your support, feedback, and open attitude.
Create and be well…
Brian R. Martens
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Brian writes poetry concerned with the “Human Condition”, and such topics as Awareness, Transformation, and Deep Intuition. He seeks to inspire and motivate people.