Attitude is Everything: 4 Tips for How to Stay Open and Get the Most Out of Your Annual Review

Have you noticed that, when given both positive and constructive feedback, you gloss over the positive while anchoring and holding onto the constructive and feeling bad??

Our brains are wired this way because, as humans, we had to focus on anything that didn’t feel good or right in order to survive back when we were living among lions and tigers and bears (oh my!).?

So, now we keep that up by practically ignoring the positive and heading straight for our areas for improvement. And we let it bring us down, we get defensive, or we shut down. It’s a brain thing. That whole fight, flight, or freeze part of us.

But, good news, folks. You can choose how you’ll experience your review. Here are 4 tips on how to approach your upcoming review from a place of openness so that you are intentional about how you receive the feedback that is a part of helping you grow, develop, and do your best work.

Tip #1: It’s All in the Attitude

During your review, you have a choice in how you approach the conversation. I encourage you to intentionally shift your attitude by considering the following:

• Walk into your review open to feedback, realizing that we’re all human and trying to improve - it will change the tone of the conversation (we don’t always see it in ourselves, but we nonverbally communicate if we’re open or closed and this can change the tone of the whole conversation)
• Remember that everyone will receive a review, even the CEO; and there is not a single person who won’t have something to work on because we’re all improving every day
• Pump yourself up beforehand with your favorite quote, your favorite song, or your favorite activity. Here’s a quote that I love because it reminds you of many of the wonderful things that I am and you are:?

Tip #2: Take Advantage of the Opportunity to Talk About the Person You Care About Most - YOU

You have your supervisor’s undivided attention to discuss what you’ve worked on in the past year and to share what you’d like to do in the future. This time is dedicated to you. You have an opportunity to voice and share what’s important to you, including what you need from your supervisor to be successful. This is your chance to speak up, advocate for yourself, exhibit humility in recognizing you aren’t perfect, and to show your supervisor that you’re serious about being the best member of the team that you can be.?

Plus, you will have already spent time carefully filling out your self evaluation where you will have highlighted the ways and examples of when you’ve knocked it out of the park as well as identified areas where you can improve. Your self evaluation shouldn’t be completed at the last minute - it’s your time to share, in writing, what you value and what you need to continue to grow and develop.

Tip #3: Take a Step Back and Reflect Before You React

During your review,? you can focus on every single constructive comment OR you can appreciate the recognition of your strengths and demonstrate a willingness to improve in those areas that need attention. There is no getting around the fact that hearing where we can improve (even if we agree) can be jarring. It’s very common to react, withdraw, and become defensive.?

In order to combat your natural response, take a step back.?

Get curious.

Seek to understand what is being conveyed to you.?

Consider how this feedback may help you in your professional and personal growth.

If you find that you don’t agree with the feedback, carefully consider how to convey this logically. When we respond from an emotional place, we have a much more difficult time truly hearing the feedback, and being open to it. And, being open to feedback demonstrates leadership and a willingness to grow and develop.?

Tip #4: Practice Grace, Both with Yourself and with Your Manager

As I’ve said, we all have room to grow so there are likely things that you have to work on. So, rather than beat yourself up for anything you can improve on, give yourself grace and remind yourself that you're doing the best that you can and that self improvement will only benefit you moving forward.?

Also, give your supervisor grace! It’s much easier to share with someone all of the things we appreciate about them; so, when it comes to delivering feedback that’s centered on something to work on, it’s not an easy task. Each and every leader should strive to support their direct reports (and everyone else in the firm); but, when it comes to reviews, remember that your supervisor’s goal for the conversation is to help you do your best work.?

Reviews offer a great opportunity to be recognized for all of the wonderful things you do well; take some time to read your positive feedback and remember that everyone has areas where they can improve. If you didn’t, life might just be a bit dull.?

And remember…. YOU. ARE. AWESOME!!