Attention and why it can make or break your life

Welcome to the first Voice of the Gorilla newsletter. Hope you enjoy it! Let me know in the comments below.

When I was a teenager - in the pre-social media era - everyone was reading “Go where your heart takes you”, a novel that enjoyed enormous success at the time in Italy. I can’t recall anything of the plot, but I remember having a postcard with a quote from the book stuck in my bedroom and in my head for years:?

"Love is attention"

As a 17 year old full of beans I couldn’t quite grasp what it meant until life taught me a lesson or two about the importance of attention.

Not paying attention to my own instincts or feelings, for example, led to disastrous relationships.

Not paying attention to the other person talking led to deep misunderstandings and breakups.

And this truth that has a habit to appear in my life, again and again, has recently resurfaced again after reading two really, REALLY good books: 4000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman and Deep Work by Cal Newport.

Attention is the essence of life.

What you pay attention to is your life.

Think about it.

If you live regretting your past, that’s what your life is made of: it can’t be joyful, it becomes hard to enjoy the moment without the feeling of guilt and inadequacy eating you up.

If you live working most of your day on autopilot, then crash on the sofa playing Candy Crush or scrolling Instagram, that’s what your life is. Yes, you are showing your support to the small independents by liking their vegan/animal welfare content, but what are you actually doing with your life that embodies your values?

Although I’m known among friends and family for having a cast-iron discipline when it comes to my work and my habits (as an example, I wrote my book SustainABLE for two hours a day between 4 am and 6 am for a year), I am human after all.?

It helps that I like following rules, even self-imposed ones, so when I make up a plan, I manage to follow it without much distress. However, Zuckenberg Inc. has an impact on me like on anyone else.?

The addictive nature of social media and shiny screens is like coke for my mind, like it is for yours.

Consuming vs creating: the P.I.E. (Productivity, Impact and Enjoyment) chart

What I realised in recent times was that it has a much bigger impact than I gave it credit for. I thought I was overworked, but most of my time was spent on shallow activities (checking my emails, responding to LinkedIn messages, checking whether I could find used dumbbells on Facebook Marketplace) and that made me stressed, unpleasant, snappy. And it made me unproductive.?

At times, I realised I was consuming online content of any sort for over six hours a day outside my working hours - ok, sometimes it was music, but still… six hours a day that I could have done something to advance my skills, or to dedicate to my values - like sustainability, or to just create something for the pure pleasure of doing it.

Even the other night, I went on Facebook to look up the name of someone that popped into my mind and ten minutes later I realised with horror that I was scrolling mindlessly while humming a lullaby to my son, while he was holding my hand and kissing it.?

He’s six and he’s my last baby: during his bedtime, do I really want to know about an old colleague I haven't met for years who is trying on wigs for a party? Or watching a video of someone trying on new face cream?

Seriously??

Life can be boring. Granted.?

Remember when we were kids and read the cereal boxes while having breakfast?

It’s part of the way our brain is wired: we want to entertain our mind constantly with content that can give us a much-needed dose of dopamine to keep our mind engaged in some form of activity and purpose.

But social media sneakily take advantage of this fact by design, so that we can consume more, buy more and give away our data happily in exchange.

You might have heard of a 2014 study conducted by the University of Virginia in which people were put in a room for 15 minutes with nothing to do but think or give themselves a mildly painful electric shock. Guess what? Two-thirds of volunteers gave themselves electric shocks. One person did it 190 times.

Our dislike of boredom has led us to the current situation, in which we seek ANY form of entertainment, even if it’s obviously bad for us, including making us miss out on precious moments, or on productivity.?

This leads to our working days stretching into our private lives and making our attention so fragmented and our minds so exhausted from the bombardment of useless information that it is incredibly hard to concentrate and achieve any quality output.?

Our culture is encouraging more and more light touch, shiny omnipresence on all media - just in case you miss out on something.

The results?

We are exhausted, anxious and we have forgotten what we stand for.

My own love and passion for sustainability, my capacity to do something about it and to put my skills to good use has been overshadowed by the need to be on social media, to publish any content, no matter how good that was…when I could have written books and researched and shared content that was truly valuable. Or joined Friends of the Earth. Or glued myself to the motorway.

The marginal gains of a few more followers on my social media platform, the “just in case this leads to new business” brought me close to burnout twice. In fact, research has demonstrated a clear connection between the constant connectedness, stimuli and high social media use with anxiety and depression.

I personally hadn’t paid attention to the signs. I hadn't focused my attention on the things that mattered.?

No one is saying that you can’t just watch funny videos to relax now and then, but if that’s how you want to spend your free time, you need to be intentional about it.

Plan it so that it doesn’t go out of hand.?

I’m going cold turkey with some of these tools (namely, Facebook and Instagram) because it’s like offering a little drink to an alcoholic. Until you have systems and strategies to prevent being swallowed by it again, you better stay off it.

Awareness and Motivation

I’m sure at this point that you’ll say that social media brings you some value. Staying connected, doing new business, staying up to date are all perfectly valid reasons for the use of social media.

However, what I invite you to do now is a little inventory of your social media habits and their real value.

I’m not saying social media is complete evil, I’m saying that it can be a double-edged sword that swallows your life without you realising it.

And in order to make any meaningful change towards higher Productivity, Impact and Enjoyment, you’ll need to be clear about your values and goals and whether your current habits get you closer or push you further away from them.

You need a strong WHY in order to change, and a plan for what you want to do with your precious time instead.

So this is an exercise for you to see what real value digital platforms bring you:

1. Define your values. You can use this exercise and worksheet by The Minimalists
2. List the key goals you have for your career (e.g., being promoted, getting a qualification, opening your own business, writing a book, becoming a thought leader in sustainability etc.)
3. List the key goals for your personal life (e.g., starting a family, spending time with your friends, going travelling, learning to play the piano, saving the planet etc.)
4. Now, using a digital wellbeing/screentime app (or the embedded function in your mobile phone), check your digital usage and transfer it to the table below. (Note: I just checked and on Wednesday this week - see image - I was on my mobile for 4 hours 23 minutes, most of the time on Whatsapp and Youtube - I don’t do many other social media. Over 4 hours!!! It’s definitely a wake-up call.)

1. Now, list all the social media platforms and other digital tools you use, including your emails, and define what value they bring you and what strategies you can use to reduce or eliminate them from your life if the value is limited, using the table below.?

Tip: some people might prefer going cold turkey, some others might prefer to use some of these tools in a controlled manner. Think about awareness and attention: how can you enjoy some of these tools in a more meaningful way that brings you closer to your goals, and more enjoyment and productivity to your life?

Click here to access your free copy of Your Digital Platform Use Inventory worksheet

Finally, now that you have a clearer idea of what’s sucking your attention and taking you away from your goals and values, schedule some deep work sessions in your week (I’m a fan of FLOWN).

These will be stretches of time (say, two hours) in which you can work or create undisturbed, paying total attention to advancing your goals in line with your values, away from any sort of distraction, digital or other. See what you can accomplish!

I hope you enjoyed this first Voice of the Gorilla newsletter.?

Let me know whether you did, and what other content you’d like to see in the future from the Green Gorilla!

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