Attention Leaders: Don't Cancel Those Plans!

As we wind down the year, many of us will be invited to fun and festive events. But we might also be guilty of canceling them.

In fact, when was the last time you did something fun or took a vacation? According to research, 2 out of 3 of you don't make the time for yourselves. Why is that?

You sacrifice taking time off because of your job.

Many leaders are operating under a faulty belief that taking care of their teams and ignoring their own needs is what good leaders do. In fact, this same study showed that a large percentage of leaders miss out on quality sleep, bring work home, and even skip a meal all for the betterment of their team and their work.

And yet, any top-notch and caring leader would not expect their teams to do the same. They encourage their teams to take the breaks they need because they can see what happens when people don't: they are on edge, less productive, and have the potential to cause havoc on team dynamics.

So, why do we think that, as leaders, this doesn't apply to us?

A few participants in a recent workshop on leadership burnout shared their thoughts about why:

• "My employees and their families are depending on me"
• "I have to balance a lot of deliverables"
• "I tend to care more for my team than I do for myself"

Does this type of self-sacrifice actually benefit the team? Research shows that the OPPOSITE is true.

When a leader is burned out or otherwise emotionally exhausted, this has a direct impact on the team's morale, sense of safety, and more. As shown above, the team's feelings of being supported by their leader or rewarded for work well done are slashed when a leader is over-stressed. Psychological safety goes out the window. More concerning, the perceived workload from the team increases.

We think we are helping the team when we are actually hurting them.

If this has been an ongoing issue, you may feel there is no way to break this cycle. As with most things, however, if we take small steps over time, change can happen! Here are a few changes you can make right now:

• "Take a Selfish:" Spend a day (or if that seems too much, a half-day or even just an hour) doing something completely focused on you and your needs. This can be a hobby you have been ignoring, reading you have been putting off, or anything else you normally wouldn't do because of the guilt.
• Talk about self-care: even if you had an inner eye-roll at the term "self-care," we know that it's important to stop talking about it in vague terms. Ask the team to share examples or even lead the group in a self-care activity.
• Take a tip from the "girl dinner" meme: even if you don't want to take a break for lunch, you can try creating a plate (or bowl or bag or tray or drawer) or snacks that will fill in those skipped meals. Call it "leader lunch" if you want to be on trend. :-)

Whether we are new leaders or have been at it for a while, it is always a good time to reflect on our habits to see what is helping us and what may be getting in our way. The good news is, if treating ourselves poorly is a problem, we can take small steps toward making a change!