Attending Therapy For My Career Troubles

It was to be just another visit to the neurologist. But it ended up leading to something else. It set in motion a very interesting phase of my life.

Whether the visit was one due for a long time or whether something health-wise had necessitated it, I don’t quite remember. Probably the former.

But fast forwarding around half an hour or so since stepping into that office, I was recommended to see a therapist. Which I would not have listened to, if not for my neurologist scribbling down the name and number and passing it to me. To make things more convenient, the person in question was within the hospital.

She was a clinical psychology student. To quote myself from my journal entry of that day,

“It was a really dope day. The long conversation at the psychologist’s office pretty much made the rest of my day.”

I’m a sucker for long conversations. Sometimes just having one makes me feel lighter and better. So it was no surprise that I looked forward to these sessions. Being able to be so vulnerable and so open with someone, with no fear of being judged, was quite cathartic.

Speaking of the sessions themselves, there was this guided mindfulness exercise that involved minimum stretching and visualization. The relief, contentment, and calm that exercise left me feeling was a huge surprise to me the first few times until I came to expect it.

As time passed and sessions went by, I learned more and more about myself. I’d always believed that I knew my subconscious self quite well and that there was very little I didn’t know about myself.

And boy, was I wrong. The sessions, the tests, and the homework alongside a little education on psychology that she gave me revealed to me just how wrong I was. And today I know from that experience that I may never be able to uncover everything about myself. It just isn’t a one-person job.

There was this one online session (because offline had become a long trip for me) where she broke into this talk about passion. And I needed to hear it because I had given up on it.

And though I barely remember now what she’d said, (I’ve always been quite forgetful. Could be my epilepsy meds, I don’t know.) I do recall it helping me finally break through the fear holding me back.

The sessions made me a better person, a more aware person, and a calmer person.

And eventually, I found the source of the issue I was prescribed the therapy for in the first place.

I was sent to therapy for my inability to pick and stay the course for a career. I just couldn’t commit. And that was wrecking my life. I even avoided doing anything that significantly moved me forward in the direction of any career choice.

Part of the source I discovered probably stemmed from this deep emotion within that didn’t want to leave the “child me” behind and didn’t want to step into this world of adult responsibilities and work stress. I didn’t want to grow up.

Some other part of it was because I didn’t want the monotony of a single career path. I’d rather be a bee that hops between a variety of flowers than stick to just one.

As weeks pass I’m slowly fleshing out a solution to this inability of mine. Also, I have a career path now that I’d absolutely love to explore for the rest of my life. It has enough variety to keep me interested for decades—graphic design.

She helped me uncover the root cause and as you can see, that knowledge has been helping me a great deal.

Change was pretty hard to do despite being someone who was always open to it. Her counseling has helped me a great deal with that.

With the therapy’s goal finished, and with the insane progress I made with other issues I was struggling with, the sessions came to an end. The treatment ran for a little over 5 months.

So now with meditating daily almost every day, having some of the knowledge I learned currently saved in the form of screenshots and PDFs, and practicing mindfulness a little once in a while… I’m very grateful for the progress and experience.

Therapy really has been quite life-changing for me.