Ataraxy Friday: Why am I stuck solving other people’s problems?

My children have me well trained.??

In that busy morning between ‘awake and school drop off’ there is lots to do. Whilst they are capable of making their vegemite on toast and sandwiches for lunch, I find it faster (and less messy) if I do it.

Can you relate??

Our personal competence creates an efficiency trap.?

You get more of what you’re good at, and you get good at what you do most often.?

Your efficiency means that people come to you, or simply do nothing and let you solve this problem.?

You become a target, a lightning rod for problems that others cannot, don’t want to, or don’t have the time to do themselves.??

It’s an easy trap to fall into.?

You want to help, and because of your skill, you can do it more easily and quickly. It feels good, too - a win and a demonstration of your value and deep knowledge. Nice little dopamine hit by completing something you're skilled at.

It is easier to ‘do it yourself quickly’ than push back or train the person asking you for help.??

The problem goes away until next time, or someone else brings you more of the same.

Are you getting better at things that will ultimately get in the way of your goals???

Just because you can - even if you are the only one who can - doesn’t automatically mean you should.

Be deliberate about where you focus your energy and attention. Make sure you get good at the things that will lift you rather than drown you.

The alternative is a revolving door of problem-givers and your own work falling further behind.

Nigel?

PS:? Are you feeling…

Stuck, lonely, cranky, even with loved ones, grinding on with no clear way out?

Come to Your Confident Mind Reboot workshop and learn how to take back control of your life; to move ahead with confidence and energy. Happy just being you.

Click here for deets.