Ataraxy Friday: Assume good intent

When you think people are wrong about something you feel strongly about, especially if it has a moral context, it is easy for us to make assumptions about their intent.? For instance, that they are bad, mean spirited, or selfish.

However, as Socrates suggested, people do not knowingly want bad things to happen.

Doctors used to put leeches on people because they thought it would help - not harm.? Misguided yes, sadistic no.

When in conversation with people who have different views, remember their intent is almost certainly better than you think. They are just trying to solve a problem, and their knowledge, moral intuitions, and feelings about it are different from yours.

It is rarely because they are malicious, hateful, or stupid. Being wrong about something is not evil.

The most consistently productive method is to:

• Assume they have better intent than you think
• Be curious as you can about how they arrived at their view (i.e. genuinely seek to see the situation from their perspective - you don’t have to agree).

You’ll be surprised at how much emotional heat it takes out of the interaction.

Nig

PS: If you want some help, book a short chat and see if we can brainstorm

your world a little and find some clarity.