An Astounding Power Skill

There is one particular skill that almost every single client I’ve ever worked with, and every single woman I’ve ever known, finds incredibly difficult. I have a theory about why this is: I believe that most women learn to fear this skill, because it goes directly against the way we are socially and culturally conditioned to show up in the world, i.e. making ourselves small, unobtrusive, polite and compliant (I’ve previously written about how this conditioning can wreak havoc in our careers via BTS Syndrome).?

But embracing this skill at work, in a professional context, can be transformational. When done strategically it can make an enormous difference in the way you’re perceived by everyone around you, including Senior leaders who are looking for high-performing talent that they can support and promote. The power of this skill cannot be overstated.?You may be astounded by how well it works.

The astounding Power Skill I’m talking about is the ability to accept a genuine compliment.?

Yes, seriously! Think about it: if you’re in the habit of deferring compliments about your own hard work, giving others the credit and minimizing your own accomplishments, how do you expect to get ahead in your career? Accepting a well-earned compliment gracefully and confidently signals to others, including Senior leadership, that you own the full scope of your work, and that you can handle any challenges that arise along the way to achieving those goals. It also says that you’re comfortable being in the spotlight, which is necessary to be considered for leadership roles.?

OK, let’s pause for a moment. I know what you’re thinking: how can you accept a compliment without sounding arrogant, braggy, or like a complete jerk??

The challenge, again, is to do it intentionally and skillfully. These are some real-life examples from my clients. Notice that each one contains confident, powerful language, without apologizing or minimizing your hard work.??

Here are three compliments, and three ways to answer them skillfully:

1. You did a great job building out this excellent team.

Thanks very much! I have high standards for team-building and I’m glad to have found so many great people to bring to the company, each with their own unique strengths. I look forward to their progress and I’ll keep you posted.?

1. You did great work on this project, and the clients are very pleased.

Thanks very much! I’m super growth-oriented and I value the opportunity to learn so much on a big project like this one, it was compelling and informative all the way through. It was great to have such a strong team handling the day-to-day [here you can call out certain individuals and their contributions] so I could oversee the larger vision and keep the clients happy.?

1. Your work at the company in the past 5 years has been stellar, and we would like you to interview for the role of CFO.

Thanks very much, I’d love to! I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to learn from so many high-achievers during this time, and I hope to continue. I’ll start preparing for the interview.

Don’t miss an opportunity to take the credit that you deserve and jump to the next level. No cringe, no shame, no apologies! Know your worth, and own it whenever you can.

This is just one of the techniques I work on with my clients. I give Power Communication trainings to groups of Executives, and private coaching packages for professionals at companies like Microsoft, Amazon, Columbia Bank, Carharrt, Cisco and Kimpton Hotels, both remotely and in person. DM me for more info about my trainings, rates and availability. I love hearing from you!