Assumptions

Is it our athleticism that fuels our love for jumping to conclusions?

How does “must be" move from random possibility to concrete fact?

Where did we get the ability to thread together bits of information into skilfully crafted “facts”?

The Appeal

Making assumptions is appealing:

1.      It provides us with answers where none is available to us.

2.      It is more comfortable to create a complete story than to sit in the dark with scraps.

3.      It is EASY. Just let your imagination go and its done.

4.      We are encouraged to do it. We can usually find someone who wants our “full story”.

The Dangers

In the rush to get completeness, we often overlook the harmful effects of making assumptions. These include:

• Conflicts and their repercussions and impact.
• Damaged inter-personal relationships.
• Ruined reputations.
• Setting off a chain of far-reaching events based on false premises.

Bridling our minds

Left unattended our minds can be likened to a wild horse. For it to be useful to us, we must learn to tame it and apply a bridle to it. The importance of mental discipline is widely overlooked.

Here is a training exercise for our minds that helps to limit making assumptions.

1.      Visitor from Mars

Approach situations as if you had just landed from outer space and had no clue about the situation. In that situation, you would be required to gather information without the process being clouded by your biases and experience.

The reason for the call to start by putting aside what you think you know is that the slide down the slippery slope of assumptions is usually at the very beginning. The mistake is made right at the outset and the error gathers momentum from that point.

2.      Wait

Discipline your mind to live with incomplete information. There is evidence that highlights the fact that “it must be” need not be, in reality.

Learn to withhold judgement and to accept that the jury is still out on this one. I just don’t know. Full stop.

3.      Ask

Develop the habit of seeking more information from reliable sources – especially directly from the individual(s) involved. Refuse the temptation to fill in the blanks yourself. Applying the discipline and craft of a good investigative journalist is a skill that will pay rich dividends to your relationships.

Channel your creativity away from making up stories. Use it instead to come up with probing questions that can unearth the facts.

4.      Silence

Don’t rush to broadcast!

The story you have created from your assumptions might sound credible to you. That is usually accompanied by a desire to share what you have “learned”.

That is the phase in which false accusations abound.

I recall a situation in which a security guard rescued a young man whose throat was about to be cut by his co-worker based on assumptions made from circumstantial evidence.

This step is the most challenging in the process of taming and bridling our minds.

The impetus to jump to conclusions is usually greatest in emotionally charged situations. In those circumstances, the pumping of adrenaline prompts us to take swift action. Rational thinking is postponed.

We opt for primal reactions instead of responding thoughtfully and with due consideration.

5.      Fix it

An overlooked element of the training process is the need to repair the damage. Take the time to accept and correct every instance in which you make a wrong assumption. The act of having to retrace your steps and deal with the repercussions of your error will prompt you to exercise greater caution in the future.

For You - Thanks

Have a successful New Year. May God richly bless you! Thanks for allowing me to share.

Call to Action:

1.      Don’t assume. Investigate with an Employee Satisfaction Survey or 360 Performance Appraisal Assessments. 

2.      Save February 16, 2018 for the 2018 Exclusive Breakthrough Bootcamp: Guided Path to Realizing the Next Level of Your Journey as Best-selling author and Fortune 500 Consultant Keri S Smith brings breakthroughs to Kingston!

Trevor E S Smith and the Success with People Academy team prepare and certify Leadership Coach/Mentors and develop High Performing Teams. Hire Smart with their recruitment solutions. Now enrolling for the January cohort of the ICF/SHRM-Accredited Certified Behavioral Coach program.