Assumptions & Human Relations!

Assumptions are made and most assumptions are wrong – Albert Einstein

Misunderstanding between people occurs due to our very nature of judging another from our lens of beliefs and inferences. One of the common mistakes we do today is arriving at conclusions based on assumptions, perceptions, or wrong interpretations.?Due to this single trait, we lose a lot of things in life as we are not able to trust people, due to our assumptions based on what we see or observe. If we address this, we can improve our interpersonal skills, thereby making our relationships more meaningful, collaborations more successful and leadership skills more impactful.?I would like to draw your attention to the Ladder of Inference (developed by Chris Argyris) to address this day-to-day myopia we encounter and to enhance our overall wellbeing.

The ladder of inference illustrates our tendency to adopt inaccurate beliefs based on selective observations, false assumptions, and misguided conclusions.

We observe based on available data and experiences.?From our observations, we?select?data from what we observe and attribute meaning to it, both, from a cultural and personal perspective. We may make a mistake here as we may select data that we think is relevant and ignore the rest. In my view, another variable in selecting this data could be our inherent bias. Like it or not, we all have inherent biases, deeply ingrained in our decision-making. The problem starts here! We make assumptions based on the attributes we fix to words, body language, the said and the unsaid and conclude based on partial data selection, believing our assumptions are accurate and that they showcase reality. Most of the time, this is how we go wrong.?Add to this, we adopt beliefs about the world and take actions based on these beliefs which may also not be correct. Our beliefs affect what data we select the next time around, reflecting us in a loop, thus determining how we see the world.

The ladder of inference framework helps us to go a bit slow in our conclusions rather than creating a perception immediately, about someone or something.?Instead of jumping to conclusions, analyze and test the assumptions, meanings, selected data, and observations that created them.?We can clarify a lot with the other person through effective listening and communication.?

It is important to discuss and understand the situation from the other person's perspective through active listening, powerful questioning, and more importantly not judging irrespective of their background, value, beliefs, experiences, etc., to avoid arriving at conclusions through assumptions.

Listen actively so as not to assume or interpret wrongly.?Post listening, paraphrase the understanding to validate the same so that the stakeholder is also on the same page!!!

Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.?-?Don Miguel Ruiz

So, Avoid Assumptions! Create Dialogue!