Assumptions Got You Down? Try Asking Questions Instead!

Have you ever felt disappointed or frustrated when things didn't turn out the way you expected them to? It's a common feeling, especially in the workplace. But what if I told you that many of these negative experiences are a result of assumptions??

The Problem with Assumptions?

Yes, assumptions! We carry them around all the time - big ones and small ones - and they can be responsible for a lot of things going wrong. They say assumptions are the mother of all screw ups, right?

In a professional setting, it's crucial to collaborate effectively, and checking our assumptions is one of the most powerful ways to do so.?

Let me give you an example.?

Last week, you gave an extensive and complex presentation to your team, and your manager was present. Although you felt you did okay, your manager didn't give any positive feedback about your presentation. She seemed absent-minded and not very interested in what was happening. You assumed that your manager didn't like your presentation style and that she would give you feedback. The following week, you still felt that something was off.?

This is where assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. But what if you had replaced your assumptions with questions??You could have asked your manager, "What did you think of my presentation?" or "Do you have any feedback for me?"

Instead, you assumed that your manager didn't like your presentation, and you let that assumption color your perception of the situation. You even felt that your manager should have given you feedback. That's an assumption as well.

When you finally asked your manager for feedback, she revealed that her nine-year-old son had been in the hospital since that morning, and that was why she seemed distracted during the presentation. She apologised and told you that your presentation skills and style were absolutely fine.?

The Brain Science Behind Assumptions?

Assumptions are created based on the information we receive, and they are coloured by our conscious and unconscious beliefs about a specific type of person or situation. As humans, we rely on assumptions to make sense of the world around us, but they can also lead to misunderstandings and conflicts when they are based on incomplete or inaccurate information.?

Psychologist and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman explains in his book "Thinking, Fast and Slow" that the human brain relies on two distinct thinking systems: System 1, which is automatic, intuitive, and prone to making assumptions, and System 2, which is more deliberate, logical, and analytical.?

The Benefits of Asking Questions?

Replacing your assumptions with questions is a good idea because assumptions takes up valuable space in your head and can hinder your creativity. When you ask a question instead, you can get rid of the assumption and create head space for actual creative work.?

Additionally, assumptions get in the way of truly being connected to someone. They become a barrier for authentic connection. If you keep assumptions alive, they can develop into frustration and even snowball into passive aggressiveness and worse.?

Asking questions is also a powerful tool for personal growth and development. When we ask questions, we challenge our assumptions and push ourselves out of our comfort zone. We become more curious about the world around us and the people we interact with. This curiosity helps us to learn and grow as individuals, both personally and professionally.?

Taking Responsibility for the Situation?

It's essential to remember that when you ask a question to get rid of your assumption, be prepared to receive any answer the other gives you. The power in asking the question is in you asking the question. This is where you take responsibility for the situation.

You should not give away your power by becoming attached to a specific answer that you want. This will put you in victim mode, and you want to come out a winner, no??Asking the question with an energy that leaves the other to answer it any way they want, does just that. And if your presentation sucked, or your boss doesn't have time to give you feedback right now, that's just what it is.

What assumptions are you making?

It's essential to become aware of any assumptions that you are making. About yourself, about your colleagues, about someone's involvement in a project, about your performance, about your boss,...

Next, replace your assumptions with a fitting question. It can be a fun experiment to practice curiosity, get out of your comfort zone, and connect more authentically with yourself the people around you.?

As an exercise, list all assumptions that you have about situations and people in tour workplace and write next to each assumption what question you could ask to replace it.

I’m curious to hear how that went for you. Please, share your experience in the comments. I wish you an amazing week.

Enjoy BEING a professional ????!

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