Assumptions

LGBT+ Assumptions

Written by Louise Rogers, Sales Manager at Howarths.

I’ve grown up in the closet.

I didn’t come out until I was 25 years old.

Even though I’m openly out now, I only bring it up when it’s relevant. I don’t wear a big sign telling people my sexuality because it isn’t all of who I am as a person, but it is part of me. As part of my role, I meet new people everyday which can sometimes lead to me being open about my personal life, but often, it is the opposite, I don’t mention ‘my partner’, so people just assume I’m straight. Here are some examples I’ve seen and are worth considering how people talk within the workplace.

The person who thought I was straight, when I explained “I’m with a woman” his response was, “ohhh so you’re a lipstick lesbian then”.

The bloke at the football who shouts “get up you queer” not realizing the young man sat next to him is gay.

The person in work that makes a transphobic joke, not realising the person on the other side of the desk is considering transitioning and are dealing with the emotion and trauma that comes with it.

These are all assumptions that the people around are straight, and it has made me realise that homophobia is still present in our society. The truth is, some people, ‘assume’ those around them are straight, and sometimes they feel comfortable enough to make comments that they wouldn’t make in front of someone openly ‘out’.

Granted, we are in a much better place than in previous decades. But I wanted to highlight the fact that just because someone isn’t openly ‘out’ in work or in their private lives, does not mean that they are not Gay, Bi, Queer (or any other label they relate to).

If I were to ask you now, do you know anyone who is gay, you automatically think about those around who have come out. But there are so many colleagues, friends, loved ones who are, but just haven’t accepted it themselves yet.

I don’t write this for me. I’m comfortable with who I am in and outside of work. I write this for the guy in the office who’s married to a woman but has been struggling with his sexuality all his life, or the woman who has been single for years, because she hasn’t come to terms with her own sexuality yet and would rather be on her own until she deals with those emotions, or the person born a female but has never quite felt right in their own skin.

If you are straight, you will never know that sinking feeling when you’re in a great mood and a homophobic comment comes out of nowhere. Your heart sinks and your blood boils. Some people will call it out, some will not in fear of ‘outing’ themselves.

Be kind with your assumptions, being in an inclusive environment will help people struggling know that they will be accepted by everyone around them.