"To assume the best about another is the trait that has created modern society."

"Those occasions when our trusting nature gets violated are tragic. But the alternative - to abandon trust as a defense against predation and deception - is worse.” - Malcolm Gladwell

The beauty of homeschooling/world schooling is to teach your children what is relevant and focus on creating a whole person. While we focus on the standard things, a big part of our time is spent on learning about the world, learning about values, and having honest conversations about hard things - things like bias, racism, sexism, rape. Creating a safe space to talk about hard things wasn't something I focused on when I relied on K12 education, they will teach these things, I assumed. Several recent moments feel salient as we sip our coffee and milk, getting ready for a beautiful day.

On a recent overnight flight I found myself exhausted, impatient with everything and nearly everyone (quietly) but authentically. (Why are they touching me, it is a pandemic? Just scan my ticket, it is 3 AM! I am hungry! = Child like). We sat down, took off en route to Entebbe, Uganda; I began filling out the stack of COVID/immigration/what are you doing here paperwork and the woman invading my space tapped her paperwork and placed it on my tray table waving her wrist as if she could not write. Naturally, I am annoyed by this, fill out your own paperwork, this is not fun for anyone. I do it, begrudgingly. Food comes around, I notice she is eating with both hands easily, asks for what is left of mine and extreme guilt for my internal reaction hits me - she can't read, and she is very hungry. She could not fill out the form because unlike Asa (spouting Harry Potter chapter by chapter) and me, she cannot read what the form requires. I am an asshole, in this moment. I unfairly judged this stranger who just needed help and despite my salty exhaustion, how dare I judge someone asking for something so small in a time of need.

Gladwell's book has helped us be more focused on our bias, to realize it when it happens, to feel not only guilty but grateful; guilty when we judge and own it (I told Asa about this and asked for forgiveness) and grateful for being able to help when possible.

It took our conversation to another place as well - the number one question I am getting after abandoning the path most readily available for my son is "aren't you worried about his social skills?"

Solid no. I am not. At all. I would be worried about them if his only context for life was living in the suburbs surrounded by people privileged just like him. I would be worried if he was tethered to TV (haven't had cable in years) or violent video games (he loves Minecraft). I would be worried if he didn't learn the basic languages of each country we visit and wasn't focused on kindness. How do we break cycles of bias? By breaking the mold of only associating with those like us; this is hard to do in established communities that are meant to control factors that are self-fulfilling. How do we break the cycle of poverty? By acknowledging it exists and understanding how it started. How do we end systemic racism? By teaching our children to love others, early and often, based on their merits and attitude.

As my business partner and I build out or "culture" model (people first, product second) these are things we hold dear. Students of the world, people who care, seeking to serve.