Assertiveness at Work

We all know what assertiveness is: being direct and confident. However, do we, as women, practice the art of assertiveness in asking for what we want and need in the workplace and at home? We have been conditioned to believe that assertiveness is aggressive and passive is polite. Here are some tips on getting what you want and deserve assertively and appropriately:

1.???? Avoid starting or ending your request with an apology. As a human being, you naturally have needs and wants. Apologizing for them invalidates your very being and comes across as wishy-washy and inconsistent. Consider that in the workplace, colleagues like to work with someone who is self-assured and can ask for help when needed, a key component of being a team player and essential to avoid burnout.

2.???? Assume you will get what you ask for rather than starting from a place of being the underdog and asking for something unreasonable.

3.???? Speak in an even, confident yet expressive tone with matching body language. Face the person directly rather than from an angle. The spine should be extended, ears over shoulders, chin tilted slightly up, head back, direct eye contact, hands neutral, and resting. This conveys ease and confidence.

4.???? Do not back down immediately. If you get a ‘no’ right away, repeat your request.

5.???? Use the broken record technique. When someone says ‘no’ we tend to get flustered and try to provide explanations, justifications, and rationalizations. No need to do that. Instead, repeat your request or statement in the same or slightly different words. For example, if your original request is, “I’m feeling overwhelmed and need more support in this project,” and get a negative response such as, “We don’t have the staff to assign help for that project,” you can restate your request: “I understand that we are short-staffed right now, but I am requesting help on this project.”

6.???? Stand your ground if your request is nonnegotiable. For example, “I understand that we are short-staffed, but I cannot make the deadline on this project unless I have assistance.”

7.???? Be willing to compromise only if it satisfies your wants or needs or arrange another meeting or discussion.

8.???? Reinforce your assertive behavior. Learning to be assertive may be challenging at first, and acknowledging and congratulating yourself will increase self-awareness and the likelihood of establishing a pattern of assertive communication.

Assertiveness is essential for effective communication. Being assertive at work demonstrates self-awareness, confidence, and leadership. It will help you navigate your work-life more efficiently, have fulfilling relationships with your boss and colleagues, and maintain work-life balance.