Assertiveness Communication & Training

I recently came across a quote from Kyle Maynard, an inspiring athlete and motivational speaker who, despite being a quadruple amputee, has achieved more than most able-bodied people (Maynard, n.d.).

“Being passive is a shortcut to nowhere.” - Kyle Maynard

This really did echoe within me. Living with ADHD, I’ve often found myself holding back, not expressing my thoughts or needs clearly for fear of being misunderstood. But being passive doesn’t get us anywhere. It doesn’t help us build strong relationships, achieve our goals, or reduce our stress.

In fact, the Mayo Clinic states that assertive communication promotes healthy relationships and reduces stress (Mayo Clinic). It’s a core communication skill that can help us express ourselves effectively and stand up for our point of view, all while respecting the rights and beliefs of others.

One of the thought leaders in this area is Susan Jeffers, who wrote the book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” (Jeffers, 1987). She explores techniques for assertive communication and encourages us to face our fears and communicate confidently. Her work has been a great source of inspiration for me, and I highly recommend her book if you’re looking to improve your communication skills.

So, how can we develop these assertiveness skills?

1.??? It starts with understanding our thoughts and needs, and then expressing them confidently.

2.??? It’s about standing up for ourselves, even when it’s uncomfortable.

3.??? It’s about being proactive, not reactive.

4.??? It’s about taking control of our communication, rather than letting our fears control us.

Let me share a personal story with you. A few years ago, a good plus ten, I was working on a group project at university. You know by now that I hate group activities. I was struggling with the workload and felt that my contributions were not being valued. I was a mature student after all. Instead of staying silent, I decided to speak up. I expressed my concerns to the group, clearly and assertively. It was uncomfortable, but it led to a productive conversation about workload distribution and respect within the group. In the end, we were able to work more effectively as a team, and our project was a success.

So, here’s my call to action for you:

Practice assertive communication in a challenging situation this week. It could be at work, at university, or even at home. Reflect on the experience.

·????? How did it feel?

·????? What was the outcome?

Remember, it’s okay to feel the fear. The important thing is to do it anyway.

Remember, we’re all in this together. We’re all learning, growing, and navigating this journey of life with our unique set of strengths and challenges. So, let’s support each other, let’s learn from each other, and let’s celebrate our neurodiversity. After all, our differences are what make us unique, and our uniqueness is our strength.

References

• Jeffers, S. (1987). Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Ballantine Books.
• Maynard, K. (n.d.). Being passive is a shortcut to nowhere.
• Mayo Clinic. (n.d.). Assertive communication promotes healthy relationships and reduces stress.

Helps & Tips

As a line manager, it’s crucial to understand that individuals with ADHD may have unique communication needs. Here are some ways you can support them:

1. Patience and Understanding: Recognise that they might need more time to process information or instructions. Be patient and give them the space they need.
2. Clear Communication: Be clear and concise in your communication. Avoid using jargon or complex language that might cause confusion.
3. Regular Check-ins: Regularly check in with them to understand how they’re doing and if they need any support. This can help them feel valued and understood.
4. Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement can go a long way in boosting their confidence. Acknowledge their efforts and achievements regularly.
5. Provide Structure: Individuals with ADHD often thrive in structured environments. Help them by providing a clear structure and routine.

Suggested Script for a Conversation

Line Manager: “Hi Stephen, I wanted to check in with you about our recent team meeting. I noticed that you seemed a bit overwhelmed with the amount of information shared. I understand that it can be a lot to take in at once. Is there anything I can do to support you better in these situations?”

Employee: “[Shares their feelings and thoughts]”

Line Manager: “Thank you for sharing that with me. I appreciate your honesty and I want to make sure you feel supported here. Would it help if we broke down the information into smaller, more manageable parts? Or perhaps we could have a quick chat after meetings to recap the key points? I’m open to suggestions.”

Employee: “[Shares their preference]”

Line Manager: “That sounds like a great idea. Let’s try that for our next meeting and see how it goes. Remember, my door is always open if you need to talk or if you have any other suggestions.”

?

Remember, the goal is to create an environment where the individual feels supported and understood. It’s about open communication, understanding, and mutual respect. I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.

Next Week : Time Management and Prioritisation