Assertive Inquiry

I remember a peppery dispute with a colleague in which I came to see the principles of effective dialogue. We were hashing out our strategy to support an anchor client in our portfolio, and there were many shades and angles to consider.

On the surface, this might have sounded like a dysfunctional, perhaps even hurtful, exchange. For most of it, I would start to formulate an idea and he would cut me off mid-sentence, saying, "Not a chance! No way!" So I would pivot in a new direction, but he would again shut me down, shaking his head and repeating, "I don't like that either!"

He would then grab the till and take us on a different course, but I would just as quickly sink his proposal, often firing salty terms like "amateurish" or "unimaginative" through the hull of the argument.

By the end of the meeting, our thoughts had somehow coalesced. Our brains had become one. As if by alchemy, we had produced an impressively nuanced point of view. Each of us looked at the other and said: "That was fun."

What exactly made it so?

According to learning theorist Chris Argyris, the term for this type of conversation is 'assertive inquiry'. It blends the explicit expression of your own thinking (assertive) with the sincere exploration of the other person's point of view (inquiry). It's Reid Hoffman's notion (I think) of 'strong convictions loosely held'. It's what Kevin Kelly describes as "speaking as if you're right but listening as if you're wrong."

Assertive inquiry is by far the most efficient and effective way to improve our collective thinking, but it's relatively uncommon in a professional context because it relies on preconditions that take time to build.

Each person needs to feel respected. Without an implicit belief that your capabilities are held in high regard, you're more likely to take criticisms personally.

Each person needs to feel safe. Without a sense that you can express yourself freely and without fear of negative consequences, you're more likely to censor yourself.

Each person needs to feel a common commitment. Without a mutual devotion to the pursuit of the highest possible standard, you're more likely to put ego ahead of outcome.

These preconditions are not a one-off, box-checking effort. They are pillars that have to be regularly reinforced.

Team culture is about codifying ideas. Team rituals are about reinforcing ideas. Team excellence is about evolving ideas through the consistent practice of assertive inquiry.