Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

A lot of times when I train people for the first time and I ask them, "What do they want to work on? What are their biggest challenges, concerns, or frustrations in sales?" They will often tell me, "I want to be more aggressive."

We have to fix this. Being aggressive doesn't work. It doesn't sell.

Assertive sells

Let's start by taking a look at the target of what we want to see and achieve: Assertiveness. This means we plant our feet, and don't wimp. When we get to those moments where we have a pit in the bottom of our stomach, we stand tall, be strong, deal with the uncomfortableness of the situation, and press through- that's being assertive. We ask questions that are difficult and tough. We're OK getting a no from a prospect.

Many times we want to get to "no" before they do. We want to qualify hard and get rid of the trash in our pipeline so we can deal with reality. That's right- reality. Assertive people deal with reality. Aggressive people push people away, cause bonding issues, and ultimately are overbearing. Most of us can't become that, it's not in our nature. 

So when we set the target for aggressive we never get there and we always feel bad that we're not on the path. After training people for the last 11 years and managing them for 12 years prior to that, I know people are okay with being assertive. They can see and achieve and reach for that. Aggressive is just a rung out of reach. But when we get the words right and know what the target is, we have a better chance of doing and saying what we need to do so we don't wimp in the sales process.

Be assertive, not aggressive.

Do you need some direction on how to be assertive? Email me: [email protected]. I am happy to help.

Check out our Free Report, 3 Biggest Sales Mistakes You Should Never Make, for more important sales advice.

About Mark McGraw:

2017 David H. Sandler Award Winner

Mark founded Sales Engine, LLC. after spending 17 years in the corporate world. He was a VP of Sales for a Fortune 500 company and has been a business owner for 10 years. Mark is a member of the esteemed Vistage group, sits on the boards for Adoption Discovery and The Place (a United Way Agency.) 

Mark's professional goal is to help people see and achieve a higher vision for themselves. 

Other related articles on Sandler Training: Sales Engine, LLC:

Professional development, Self development, Sales process 


Mikhail Vecino

Registered Nurse I Nurse Educator

7 年

Great take on assertive selling, enjoyed the read Mark.

回复
JD Dickerson

Helping clients accelerate transformational change at scale

7 年

Great post. Having been around both types of salespeople in my career, this made me think about the ones who were assertive vs aggressive. In every case I can think of, the aggressive salesperson had either: A. High confidence, low focus on the customer (they know they can get what they want and don't care about the collateral damage) Most of the time, they were in some type of highly transactional environment focused on "closing." B. Low confidence, overcompensating This is interesting to think about.......

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