Asperger's and Me: Navigating social privileges

Whoa! It super stressful! Navigation and finding your social privilege is really challenging when you have Aspergers. I am the person diagnosed with mild case of Aspergers, and also hearing loss in both ears. Growing up as a kid I didn't realised how stressful life is after I experienced bullies and harassment during high school and university years. Also to the extent I was bullied and harassed online as well in those years.

It was extremely difficult to avoid these situations because it who I am. There nothing I can be better than myself because it just the way who I am. The way I speak, the way I listen, the way I concentrate, the way I approach, the way how I react, and the way how I be! These little things can be really irritating or scary for a Neurotypical (NT; a person who do not identify with Aspergers nor Autism). It also irritating and scary for me facing consequences and barriers portrayed by NTs approach or reaction for the way who I am.

Lack of inclusivity and poor education was something that reminded me as a kid and high schooler. I remembered they didn't talk about 'diversity' and 'culture' in classes. Nobody mention about disabilities and learn about particular life skills. I believe this is something can be a solution that improve my navigation in NT world, and the society; and also for them to understand us better. There is nothing we all can do to make changes by who we are. I was told so many times I suppose to change the behaviour. This affect my mental health since it is stressful by trying to change who I am.

Wouldn't be stressful for a NT person to learn and understand more about this? In this reflection it will help people like myself to learn more about them! It goes both ways. It just like making new friends who visited to your country for first time, speaking English as second language and don't have cultural awareness. It is all about new. You start from speaking and listening to each others. This is where natural connection comes in play finding (navigating) to reach social privileges.

In many research studies from psychologists and experts find that social privileges means inequality of societal identities. So, we see someone who are doing same successes and achievements as you have more attention and support than you. This is where social privileges occur. Creating a spotlight over that person more than you, because you 'appear' different to them. Many males with Autism, Aspergers, social anxiety, introverts and depression facing social privileges a challenges. My personal experiences reflect this social privileges pretty well. I know I am very successful with plentiful of achievements in professional life - my career, pursuing my passions and planning for my future. BUT, unfortunately this does not mean I will have the privileges.

In past two years, when I became active with my career, networking, conference engagements and traveling I realised that my social privileges hasn't improved. I am still lost in social and communication aspects when interacting with people. Running a company that able to maximise employment and social opportunities for people with disabilities like myself is super challenging as well. It all about social and communication aspects where you actively engage with mainstream (terminology refer to other perspective from a person with disability) where they yet to learn and try to understand who you are.

It goes back to where as a kid and high school of experiences. Everything has to start again, and repeat everywhere you go. Living with Aspergers, as well having hearing loss at the same time makes it super challenging to make everything 'that appear perfect' to communicate and engage in conversations, build rapport and relationships. Every single day I faced lot of presumptions and assumptions from others especially in scenarios when "I thought you going to reply to me to organise a meet up?". I cannot tell in that language when the person has to respond to me, especially after I responded to that person message. In face to face communication, there always distractions surrounding the social interaction that impacts my ability to focus on the person who speaks to me. I am not ignoring nor lacking interest of you. It the surrounding environment that is very distracting, especially sounds and crowded places.

So, social privileges shouldn't be a primary focus in everyday life. Get lot of attention on one person while other have similar achievements and successes. The #metoo movement has proven similar consequences, because there is #wetoo movement. The #wetoo movement is less selfish. The selfishness of paying attention to particular identity will mean impact on other who have different identity. Social inequality, from my experience has caused me to experience anxiety and depression. It make me very difficult to overcome these challenges and barriers to have my rapport.