Asking Yourself “Why?”

How Child-Like Curiosity Could Be The Most Powerful Tool For Healing

If my kids were good at anything when they were little, they were relentless about asking me questions.

After any answer I gave the question was still the same: “Why, Daddy?".

This went on until we got so deep into it I that knew there was nothing more I could do other than just say: “Because that’s just the way it is, honey…now go play.”

And off they went giggling without a care in the world.

This got me thinking: what if I started asking myself the same question like a child would…and every time I gave some bogus answer I just kept asking myself "why?" until I finally found and admitted the truth?

Well, I did.

And it sucked.

It was brutal because my mind kept bringing up excuses so I can be OK with the behavior or attitude I so desperately wanted to change.

The list of things to blame to protect me after the question was seemingly endless.

I automatically blamed other people and circumstances.

I blamed my job.

Their rigidity of rules I didn’t agree with that may have affected my attitude.

The lack of advancement that I tolerated.

I blamed people for being angry with me, like they had no right to.

The list went on, and as I continually asked myself “why”, it kept leading me further down the self accountability cave that I had no interest in going down.

My brain was protecting me.

From ME.

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It was protecting me from admitting that I am afraid.

Afraid of letting others down.

That I was still stuck in a comfort zone of my own choosing.

Spending too much money that I didn't have trying to find happiness in the external.

Wasting valuable time doing what I want to do rather than doing what I have to do to become the man that I would like to be.

It was exhausting, and it hurt at points.

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I have written before the road to any self truth is littered with uncomfortable things you will have to admit to yourself: and if you don’t you will most certainly be stuck in a place you probably don’t want to be.

Normally that place you'll find yourself in is comfort within the uncomfortable pain, pretending your Hell is really your version of Heaven (or at least the one you have resided yourself to), jealousy masked within victimhood, complacency, and blaming others.

What I found is the solution to my problem was admitting to myself my truth.

I AM THE PROBLEM.

But it wasn't all bad news.

Because I have all the tools to fix it if I chose to get really dirty in the process.

And so do you.

This doesn’t mean you beat yourself up (albeit it started for me it started out that way),

By doing the work what it will mean over time is you will be more accepting to what your role is in any problem as long as you can get over your ego’s way of protecting you from what you know is wrong.

You will take your power back away from your ego…and you will heal.

I don’t know what your issues currently are.

Maybe your relationship is in trouble.

It could be that you deal with anxiety by fighting it tooth and nail and looking for a way out which causes inner conflict and turmoil.

Heck, maybe you are doing something professionally that doesn’t fulfill you and feel trapped by your own success.

The issues at their core are endless and seem emotionally insurmountable sometimes.

What if you just looked in the mirror, took one of those problems, and started asking yourself the simple question we tend to avoid?

It may hurt, but on the other side of hurt comes healing.

And that is where you can learn how you want to live.

So…why not?