Asking how are you is not Enough!!
Farida Nizamuddin
?? HR Professional seeking Opportunities in Human Resources, and Organizational Improvement ??
Accept it! Are you okay is not a question we can ask just everyone!
I feel it is something I can only ask people I know really well. My family or closest friends! But acquaintances, strangers, everyone? No!
But there is a question we can ask everyone we meet or talk to?
And the question is How are you or How you going?
You can ask this to your friend, your brother, a customer, a colleague, a stranger.
And majority of times we know what people are going to reply.
I am good. I am fine, thank you! How are you?
I am good! That is what those individuals replied, just before they went out and took their lives.
I am good! All is good! All is well!
It's a customary thing to say. A safe thing to say! An expected norm that is comfortable.
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But it is not the best feeling!
That question really doesn't feel good unless it was coming from your crush, which is a different story!
Otherwise, this question is as ordinary as anything ever gets.
But this Ted Talk made a great point!
Don't just ask How are you? Also, add "out of 10"
Imagine if we were to pose this question to someone who was going through internal turmoil or fighting an inner battle.
As much as he/she would hate to admit it or even know how to share inner turmoil, it would be difficult to lie or make this number up.
And if the number was less than 9, it could lead to conversations! Conversations, that allow some peaking into their mental state and the turmoil and stresses or fears or concerns and eventually give others entry to support and even stop them from doing something unthinkable.
So next time, you ask someone how are you, make it a genuine one!
Ask them How are you out of 10? People will be startled a bit! But once they have gotten over that, they will come with a number! They will need to! And the entailing conversation could be a lifesaver or richer than before! Who knows!
Director @ Candor | High Performance Teams, Training and Consultancy
1 年What your highlighting there is a bias you have . Technically they are just words . Anything else “felt” about them is a reflection of you and your thoughts !