ASKING BETTER QUESTIONS

While donors are not problems, Einstein saw the value of developing better questions. From the time we are five years old, we are told how important it is to know the answers. We are trained to think that it’s only about having all the answers. Yet the power is often not in the answer, but in the question. No one ever teaches us how to ask better questions. Self-development guru Tony Robbins tells us that successful people ask better questions and thus get better answers.

It’s not always how much we know, but our ability to ask better questions that separates us from all the mediocre fundraisers out there. Great questions, asked with sincerity and authenticity, show donors we care enough to want to learn more, that we are committed to doing what’s best for the donor.

In the context of fundraising, there are several types of questions we can ask. The first are us-centered and donor-centered. Us-centered questions are mostly aimed at what type and amount of gift a donor may want to make. These questions are important and should be asked appropriately. If all we ask are us-centered questions, however, we never fully understand what our donor’s concerns, hopes, and goals around giving are.

I was reminded of the importance of asking the right types of questions the last time I bought a car. I was in no hurry, so I visited five car dealerships that sold different brands of cars. None of the salespeople I met asked me anything but us-centered questions. You know the ones: “Are you looking to buy or lease? Do you have a car to trade in? Are you looking to buy a car today?” Those are all us-centered questions that help the salesperson, not the buyer. No one asked me questions about my needs, like “What do you do for a living? Do you drive long distances? Do you need lots of room to carry equipment? What do you like and dislike about the car you currently own? What’s most important to you in deciding what kind of car to purchase?” These are questions that help me meet my goals. (To be clear, selling cars is a great way to make a living. There are great car salespeople. Many, however, are mediocre at best. It’s not their fault; they are often not properly trained.) How often do we do this with our donors? Yes, we need to ask those us-centered questions, but only after we have asked donor-centered questions first.

Let’s figure out why our donors want to do something and the impact they want to have—then we can figure out how.

To give you an idea of how the questions differ, here is a short list of us-centered versus donor-centered questions. There are hundreds more!

Us-Centered Questions:

What other charities do you support?

Of your top five favorite charities, where do we stand?

What one thing do you feel we can do to improve the services we provide?

Who else is involved in deciding what charities you support?

Donor-Centered Questions:

Why are you so loyal to our organization?

Do you have a good understanding of how we are investing your donations?

Do you have goals around your giving/philanthropy?

If money were no object, what would you like to see happen with our program?

What one thing can we do to be better stewards of your donations?

By the way, when asking someone for feedback, we often ask, “How can we improve?” Most times, the person will reply with, “I cannot think of anything.” When we rephrase the question as, “What one thing can we do to improve?” it encourages the person to come up with an answer. We need to be judicious with when and to whom we ask donor-centered questions. These types of questions are best received by donors with whom we have a relationship that is based on trust. The last thing we ever want to hear from a donor is “That’s none of your business.” Ask your donors for permission to ask these types of questions. You can let them know that very few people in our business take the time to ask donors these types of questions, and that the answers to these types of questions will ensure that they accomplish what they want with their giving.

Exercise: Write down your top five donor-centered questions. Do they inspire you? How can you improve them?

The next types of questions are open-ended versus closed-ended. Closed-ended questions are answered generally with a yes, no, or I don’t know. An example in the fundraising world is, “Will you consider a gift of $10,000 to help fund our new children’s program?” Great question, but it’s easy for the donor to say no. Then where do you go from there? Sure, you can ask if it’s just no for now or no never, and you can ask further questions to learn more— and you should. You can also ask for that gift with an open-ended question. Open-ended questions generally start with when, how, why, where, or what. Asking for a gift with an open-ended question might sound something like “How would you feel about a conversation around increasing your gift to $10,000 to help fund our new children’s program?” You must use your own judgment based on your relationship with the donor and the circumstances.

The takeaway is to think before you ask, and if appropriate, make it an open-ended question.

I help nonprofits of all sizes build sustainable major and planned giving programs.

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