Ask- What would I want?

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After more than 20 years of thinking about this, quite possibly the single greatest influence tool is this- ask yourself- If I were them, what would I want me to do? This one question changes everything. As soon as we put ourselves in that other person's shoes and think about their needs, wants, stresses, goals, and problems, everything changes. We no longer think from the lens of our own world which is totally different from theirs.

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For example, you are expecting some information from a coworker. You could ask? Do you have that information for me? But if they did they would have gotten it for you already. It is not a priority. Instead, ask yourself- What would I want me to do if I were them? Maybe give them some help.

What if you said, if I assemble that data would that help you get this task off your plate? Or, maybe get them some recognition and ask- Would it help if I emailed your boss and told them how well things are going on this project and I told them you were the reason for it? Suddenly you become a priority.

Probably the biggest failure of communication is our inability to see things from other peoples’ perspective and ask ourselves, if I were them, what would I want me to do? Try it. See the results you get when you just ask that one question. It may change the way you communicate forever.

Special thanks to Naba Ahmed at Prezi .