Ask Stacy – Summer Vacation Edition

For many of you, August represents the dog days of summer, with cooler fall weather tantalizingly just around the corner. But for those of us who live in Southern California, we know the worst of the summer heat is yet to come. Here, the hottest months of the year tend to be August and September. Hot and uncomfortable may describe the weather, but it can also be characteristic of a couple in the throes of divorce. As a family law attorney, I always try to stay calm, cool and collected no matter what my clients are experiencing. I feel it is my responsibility to bring as much sanity as possible to the process. That said, I would like to share more of the questions I have been receiving in the hopes the answers will be helpful to others. Please keep them coming.?

But first, my Booby photo, as promised:

Ask Stacy: I am going through a divorce and wondering about California's rules regarding spousal support. I earn more than my husband, so does that mean he is entitled to support even though the kids will primarily be with me?

My Thoughts: Spousal support, also known as alimony, is decided based on various factors, one of which is income. If you make more money than your spouse does – and in combination with the other factors – you may be required to pay spousal support.?

Child support, however, is calculated using other factors, including but not limited to the way parental time is shared, meaning how much time the child is spending with each of you. It stands to reason if you have more time spent with the children, your expenses will be higher. So, if you're spending significantly more time with the children, the statutory calculation may result in your soon-to-be erstwhile ex paying child support to you. However, there are other considerations at play, and even if you spend more time with the kids, you may still be paying the spouse child support. One of those considerations involves the difference in your respective incomes. In both cases, there are statutory formulas that need to be evaluated individually.?

Ask Stacy: I only just discovered that my husband has a pretty severe gambling problem. Unbeknownst to me, he accumulated more than six figures of debt that we could not repay in full. We are in the process of divorcing. How do the courts in California handle debts incurred during marriage? Will I be responsible for some of his debt??

My Thoughts: In California, case law states that debts do not have to be divided equally in a divorce settlement. The argument your attorney will make on your behalf will be that he breached his fiduciary duty by putting the community at risk without sharing his actions with you. It is up to the court to decide if it agrees with your position and how to divide the debt. How the debt is divided is not binding on the third-party creditor, e.g., the person to whom he owes the money. If the creditor seeks reimbursement from the community, you may need to seek reimbursement for what was improperly paid effectively by you. You may have some responsibility, but he will likely be on the hook for most of it, as it should be.?

Ask Stacy: Stacy, how long does it typically take to get a divorce in California?

My Thoughts: In California, there is a mandatory six-month waiting period from the time somebody files and serves the other party, either by a process server or securing a signed notice acknowledging receipt, until the status of the marriage can be dissolved. No matter how fast you complete the first step, you must wait six months. The courts want to give people a chance to think about their decision rather than making a rash decision. The six-month “divorce” does not happen automatically; actions must be taken.

Ask Stacy: My wife and I have a joint retirement account, and I will receive a pension from my job after I retire. What happens to these accounts in our divorce settlement? Is it simply a 50/50 split, even though I started my career ten years before we were married?

My Thoughts: No, unless you and your wife agree to a 50/50 split, if the court decides, it will not be a 50/50 split of the entire retirement savings. Your wife is entitled to one-half of the retirement money contributed during the marital period. In the case of the ten years of earning outside of the marriage, you will assert a separate property claim for that period. You will need an actuary to allocate the funds in the plan between your separate property and the community. You will then need a specialized lawyer to draft a qualified domestic relations order, which will eventually be a court-order instruction to the plan on how to divide your retirement account.?

Ask Stacy: Stacy, what is your secret to success? There are many family law attorneys in this country, but you have made it to the very top of your profession. And what advice do you have for attorneys, particularly women, who aspire to achieve such success?

My Thoughts: There really is no secret to what I have accomplished. It all boils down to a lot of hard work, both at one's craft, being a good, caring lawyer, keeping up with what is going on in the profession, and being out there to meet people so they know you exist and can build your brand. Let us face it: no matter how good a lawyer you are, you will not get the business if nobody knows who you are. I work my tail off for my clients. I am involved in the community, and I care. Those combined qualities have allowed me to achieve what I have in my work.?

Ask Stacy: My husband and I have been divorced for going on two years now, and though the court ordered him to pay child support and alimony, he is nearly eight months behind in payments. He claims poverty, but I happen to know he just bought a new car and went on a recent vacation with his girlfriend. I need the money to provide for our kids. What can I do?

My Thoughts: Unfortunately, your situation is not as rare as I would like. However, you have a few options. First, you can get a court order to levy on his accounts, assuming you know where he banks and the amount owed is a sum certain, meaning one exact amount of money that he owes is clear. This levy will enable you to collect your over-due child support and alimony, including interest. Of course, you could petition to have the court order that his car be sold, with the proceeds going to you. But then, without a car, he may not be able to get to work, which could seriously hinder his ability to pay in the future. Another option is to have your lawyer file a contempt motion, which ultimately can result in jail time. But, again, if he is in jail, he cannot work. I advise you to talk to your lawyer about the different opportunities that are available. The sad truth is that court orders are only as good as those willing to follow them. If he fails to pay, then you are going to incur fees in an attempt to chase down the money that is due. And even though you could get an order for your fees, if he decides to drag things out, there is little you can do to stop him. The hope is that if you get a court order for the back due support or if you get an order to sell his car, he will learn his lesson and then comply in the future.

Ask Stacy: My grandmother has told me some great stories about her early days as an attorney. Apparently, she was one of the only women in her law class. One time, she was trying a case, and the judge admonished her for wearing a pantsuit instead of a skirt in his courtroom. Have you ever had any similar experiences, and do you see a lot of progress in the way women are perceived in law today?

My Thoughts: When I clerked for a Federal Judge, I remember hearing about a magistrate who kicked a female lawyer out of court for wearing a red suit because he did not believe a woman should wear red in court. This story circulated in the early 1980s. Thankfully, we have come a long way, baby. Though this kind of overtly misogynistic behavior is less prevalent these days, unconscious bias still exists. Bias of any kind is an ongoing problem that impacts not only women but also minorities, people of religious affiliations, members of the LGBTQ+ community, etc. Admittedly, I pay close attention to my clothing choices in court mainly because I enjoy fashion. Still, I also consider what I will wear based on what judge I am in front of so as not to ruffle whatever feathers that judge may have. The truth is, we have not progressed as far as I would like.

Ask Stacy: My husband and I are in the early stages of getting divorced. He is a real estate developer. I know he has seriously undervalued some of his company’s properties for tax reasons and overvalued them for loan purposes. If I share what I know about these presumably illegal practices with my attorneys, will they be obliged to reveal them to the court? I am not saying I approve of what he has done, but I do not want to be the reason he gets in trouble. What is the best path forward?

My Thoughts: The best path forward is to have the assets appraised by an objective neutral expert. The expert will opine on the value of the properties. As for your concerns about your attorney divulging your husband’s wrongdoings, they are working at your discretion. They should not share those details with the court if you do not want them shared. However, it is essential to note that showing an overvalue on a loan application can be helpful because that will potentially shore up what your appraisers think they may be worth. Do not rely on what your husband says. Get appraisals done independently. It is the best way to protect your interests.?

Ask Stacy: I am 17 years old, and my parents encourage me to think about what I want to do professionally to pick the right college. My grandfather was a lawyer, and I find the law, particularly family law, fascinating. As one of the top family law professionals in the country, would you encourage young women to pursue this path??

My Thoughts: If you are interested in family law, I encourage you to pursue that dream. I love what I do, and I enjoy helping people. When picking a college, I recommend finding a school where you think you can be happy. Being happy goes well beyond what you learn from a professor. It includes the environment, the types of kids attending the school, and the small, large, urban, or rural setting. If you want to consider being a lawyer, take some government classes. I was a double major in history and religion, even though I wanted to be a lawyer. During my undergraduate studies, I just wanted to learn. As for being a family law attorney, you have got to want it. It is not for the faint of heart. It takes a lot of hard work. Of course, that is true of all areas of the law. I also recommend getting a summer job as a volunteer in a family law nonprofit. This will give you a chance to see what it is like. The most important thing is to find something that you are passionate about. Remember, in all likelihood, you will be pursuing this profession for the bulk of your adult life.?

I enjoy hearing from you. Please message me here on LinkedIn, or email me with any questions you have at [email protected]. I’ll do my best to share a response in an upcoming column.

Please note: The content and views expressed here are my own and do not reflect or represent the positions, strategies, views, or opinions of Blank Rome LLP.