Ask Pam | My Team Doesn't Like Working With Me

This bi-weekly LinkedIn Newsletter will address common and not-so-common questions leaders and executives, like you, have about the culture of the c-suite.

I've been serving in executive roles, reporting to Boards, CEOs, and Executive Directors since my early 20's. I've seen and experienced quite a bit, but mostly, I've learned a lot. These experiences are what led me to executive coaching.

If you're serving in the C-Suite or are headed in that direction, I'd like to hear from you. It's not often you can find a trusted advisor to answer your most pressing questions - for free. So here I am, let's talk!

This Week's Question:

Dear Pam,

I am a leader, and I'm good at what I do. However, I was recently told that people don't like working with me. One of my peers even told me off in front of others. She later apologized, but the damage had been done. I'm so done with this place. I'm ready to move on. I don't know that I need you to resolve something; I just needed a place to vent.

Signed,

Ready to Run

This Week's Response:

Dear Ready to Run:

Sounds like you got a healthy dose of reality, my friend. There are those of us who do our work well, and we are rewarded for doing so, but fail to realize that the path to success is paved with other people, who usually have a stake in our success.

So when you take out a few of them along the way, they "feel some kinda way" about that. This person decided to let you know how the collective feel. When I get runners like you, it's typically because they don't want to stay in the mess they've created. Instead, they run to another organization, create a new mess and then leave there too. I'm being a bit harsh because you're a leader, and you've earned the right to straight talk.?

STOP RUNNING.

Take a look around. Survey the land. What have you contributed to the feedback you're receiving? Forget that they are bringing others into the conversation. Stop and think. Are they right even though the approach is wrong? Would you want to work with you?

I can recall working with only ONE executive in the last 12 years who lacked self-awareness or the willingness to see how he contributed to the mess he created. Only ONE. This tells me that most leaders have the ability to see their warts and scars.

I ask you to look in the mirror and think about how you contributed to the situation. Pick up your ego, go back, and ask for specifics. What did you or are you doing, exactly? Do so without being argumentative. Just listen and take notes. Ask for what they need from you instead. Work with an executive coach and stop running. Take off your track shoes and practice new ways of leading and working with others.?

What do others have to say to Ready to Run?

Have a question you'd like for me to answer? Send it to?[email protected]. Remember, your full name and contact details will never be published or distributed.