Ask Hitesh: How can I manage my stress as a Dementia Carergiver?

Dementia is estimated to affect over 44 million people worldwide.

This disease is the cruellest I have faced so far whilst looking after my mum in the early stages of this disease. It's not only the loved one with Dementia that is affected, but the family carers looking after them too. I get you! You are not someone that is afraid of responsibility, you have a lot on your mind. To deal with a new challenge you are not skilled in, proves daunting to you. Sometimes external forces, whether it’s family, friends, or doctors are not supporting you the way you want, feel alone and tired all the time. Leading to extra stress in your body you do not want right now. You are someone that is seeking balance, peace and harmony in your world. You are never alone and are more resilient than you think. There is professional help out there, carry on reading. My focus is always 100% on YOU the family carer not the person you are caring for. To help you create that balanced lifestyle.

Care for dementia doesn't follow a one-size-fits-all model. The amount of support a carer needs at any given time varies, so it's important to make sure that you get the right advice and realistically work out what’s best for your loved one and for yourself. You both are the priority, do not forget this in your caring journey.?

If you or family think that reading a few articles online or leaflets picked up at the doctor’s surgery or hospital. Gives you a good understanding of what Dementia is. It will give you a great foundation to start from, but I hate to burst your bubble!

You have no idea the ride you are in for. This is not to scare you, but help you to prepare and plan for the challenges along the 7 stages of Dementia and avoid the pitfalls I have fallen into.?

I like to learn things fast as I know I need to upskill my understanding quickly to help my situation be better tomorrow. So sometimes I will do a deep dive into a topic that interests me. Through my research, Dementia progresses through several stages, each with distinct characteristics. Let’s explore the seven stages and try an identify what stage you are at with your loved one:

1. No Cognitive Decline (Stage 1 - Early Stage):At this stage, individuals function normally without signs of memory loss, confusion, or cognitive impairment.However, their brain structure and functioning may have started to deteriorate, with neurons losing connections and dying.
2. Very Mild Cognitive Decline (Stage 2):Occasional memory lapses occur, such as forgetting where familiar objects are kept or names they once knew well.Symptoms are unlikely to significantly affect work or social interactions.
3. Mild Cognitive Decline (Stage 3):Cognitive impairment becomes more noticeable to the person, family, and colleagues.Symptoms include getting lost while walking or driving, especially in unfamiliar places.
4. Moderate Cognitive Decline (Stage 4):Memory gaps and confusion escalate.Individuals struggle with complex tasks, forget recent events, and may need assistance with daily activities.
5. Moderately Severe Cognitive Decline (Stage 5):Individuals require substantial support.They experience memory loss, disorientation, and difficulty managing personal hygiene and finances.
6. Severe Cognitive Decline (Stage 6):Communication becomes challenging.Individuals may forget names, faces, and personal history.Behavioural changes, such as wandering or agitation, are common.
7. Very Severe Cognitive Decline (Stage 7):Individuals lose the ability to speak, recognize loved ones, or perform basic tasks.They become entirely dependent on caregivers for all aspects of daily life.

Imagine this, the information you just received about Dementia. It’s like doing only the theory part for your driving test. Can you drive a car yet? Probably not, you have to do the practical and experience the stresses, the highs and lows behind the wheel.

Similarly, articles or courses can only prepare you only so far. You have to live and breathe it each day 24/7 and get into the mind of how the person with this slowly progressive disease begins to think, there is no logic to the thought processes for your loved one. It will not make sense to you, but will be clear for them. I want you to come to terms and embrace this disease as part of your life now. Every challenge thrown your way is an opportunity to grow stronger. The sooner you understand this the happier you will be.

NEVER talk down to the person with Dementia, or make them feel stupid by thinking that talking to them like a kid or slowly will help. Even saying, ”I just told you that” then looking at them in a weird way. Don’t forget your non verbal queues are also picked up. When you get frustrated and you will. How are you handling your own emotions? Listen to your internal chatter. Do not judge the Dementia patient on their reasoning. Are you setting yourself up to be the enemy and they will shut down on you, get angry in your presence and distance themselves from you. Remember you created that situation by your own actions towards them. But you can still turn this around.

Ever experienced someone with Dementia doing or asking you several times:

1. What day is the hospital appointment and why are we going?
2. What day is it today?
3. They may put on the washing machine spin cycle 3 times a day, no good if you are trying to save on your energy bill!
4. They may wake up in the middle of the night to make a cup of tea, because they feel it’s the afternoon. Winter season does not help carers as it’s always dark and your loved one may experience sundowning. A neurological phenomenon associated with increased confusion of restlessness.
5. They may forget to use shampoo or shower gel in the shower. Or may even forget to take a shower all together.
6. Walk into the kitchen and stare at the cupboards because they can’t remember where things are.

During my research I have found that a combination of the below can make a small difference to the family carer who is living with Dementia, but has a big compounding effect too:

Supplement - Heights is a supplement that contains …?

Energy, Iron and iodine support energy-yielding metabolism—fighting tiredness and fatigue so you feel sharp and energised.

Mental health, Vitamin C and the full B complex support normal psychological function—helping keep neurotransmitter production balanced.

Sleep, Vitamin B12 and iron support energy metabolism and regulate tiredness—so you can sleep longer and deeper.

Focus, Vitamin B5 supports mental performance—so you can concentrate better and feel more clarity.

Cognitive function, Selenium, zinc, and vitamins B2, C, and E contribute to the protection of cells against oxidative stress, while omega 3 DHA is essential for brain function.

It’s not a cure and depending at what stage the loved one is at with Dementia. May be effective or may not. For my mum I can see it does make a slight difference when I give her the supplement and when I do not.

If you are thinking about trying this supplement, find out from your loved ones' nutritionist and consult the doctor first. Check it will not impact the current medication (it should not as it’s a supplement). Do not believe me. I always encourage you to do your own research to help you to come to your own conclusion. Yes I’m afraid research is a big part of caring which many people do not see as necessary, but I do. You will need to make time to do this and will be glad you did in the future.

Lion’s Mane mushrooms - (scientifically known as Hericium erinaceus) offer a variety of health benefits. Let’s explore some of them:

Protection Against Dementia:

Lion’s Mane contains compounds like hericenones and erinacines that stimulate the growth of brain cells.

Animal studies suggest that it may help protect against Alzheimer’s disease by reducing memory loss and preventing neuronal damage caused by amyloid-beta plaques.

A human study found that supplementation with 1 gram of lion’s mane daily significantly improved cognitive test scores in people with mild Alzheimer’s disease.

Relief from Mild Depression and Anxiety:

Chronic inflammation is linked to anxiety and depression.

Lion’s Mane extract has anti-inflammatory effects and can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression in animal models.

It may also improve hippocampus functioning, which contributes to reductions in anxious and depressive behaviours.

Speeding Recovery from Nervous System Injuries:

Lion’s Mane may aid in nerve growth and recovery from nervous system injuries.

Protection Against Ulcers in the Digestive Tract:

Some studies suggest that Lion’s Mane has protective effects against gastric ulcers.

Reducing the Risk of Heart Disease:

Although more research is needed, Lion’s Mane may have a role in reducing heart disease risk.

Managing Diabetes Symptoms:

Lion’s Mane has potential benefits for managing diabetes, although further studies are required.

Reducing Inflammation and Oxidative Stress:

Lion’s Mane has antioxidant properties that contribute to reducing inflammation and oxidative stress.

Exercise - Just a simple body movement for 15-20 mins every day will release those feel good chemicals. A mood-boosting superstar! When you break a sweat during exercise, your body cranks up serotonin production.

Walking - Dopamine surges when we expect rewards—whether it’s achieving a goal like walking for 20 mins a day. The anticipation molecule!

Connection - with friends or volunteering can stimulate the chemicals in the brain. Oxytocin thrives during moments of connection—hugs, cuddles, and meaningful interactions.

The above is for educational purposes and not a substitute for medical advice.

Resources

5 step family carer roadmap

UK Admiral Nurses book a call at Dementia UK

Rest of the world: Drop a comment “Dementia” below or DM me and I will send you free access to experts that can help you today, not tomorrow wherever you are in the world.

P.S. If you enjoyed reading this article feel free to share it with another family carer/caregiver you know. It may be just what they needed to hear today.

If you have any questions feel free to DM me and you might be the lucky one to have your question featured next month.

Remember: Achieve more by doing less, it's About Time!