Ask for Help! #FindYourCarol

Asking for help is not easy. Often times it’s because we don’t want to expose what we consider as our weakness to others. I have had my own moments with this struggle.

Around 2011, I was working as the department manager of the transportation group in the Arcadis Atlanta office. I was good technically but I struggled with my communication skills. My job required me to attend regular meetings with internal and external stakeholders. While I was pretty confident about the technical aspects, I wasn’t sure if I was doing a good job getting the message across. So I used to work extra hard to find ways to improve myself but it was taking time and I wasn’t sure if I was doing that effectively. I realized I needed help but I didn’t know who to share this with without being judged.

Anyhow, one evening I was working late messaging back and forth with a colleague about a client presentation we were preparing together. I noticed that Carol Evans (https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/carol-evans-1b43653/) was active on the messenger. At that time, Carol and I didn’t know each other well. We had met a few times in some internal meetings and I had appreciated her composure. For whatever reason, I decided to send Carol a message and asked if I can pick her brain on something. She responded positively so I opened up about the issue and asked if she had any suggestions for me. Carol thought a bit and asked me if I liked reading books. Very hesitantly I said I can read short books ??. Then she suggested that I read “Now, Discover your Strengths” by Marcus Buckingham. We exchanged a few more messages and I promised to her that I will read it and share with her what I learned.

That unexpected, unplanned interaction with Carol was a huge turning point for me. I read the whole book (probably the guilt of not keeping the promise made me read it). The book helped me recognize my strengths and weaknesses for the first time. It also taught me (or at least the way I understood it) that one can do anything with the combination of their strengths, as long as one can find a way around their weaknesses. I took that learning very literally. Since then I actually believed that I can achieve whatever I want to (not with arrogance, but with confidence) as long as I put my mind to it. All of a sudden I had a path forward. The big shift was that I started focusing on my strengths and found people to support where I was weak. In a way, I created an ecosystem for myself. It also helped me in quickly recognizing other people’s strengths, which eventually helped with staff management.

So my message here is - No matter what you are struggling with, there are people are out there who are ready and anxious to help. So raise your hand and ask for help - you will find your Carol and she will be ready to pull you through. Good Luck!! ????????