Ask The Expert: Dietary Issues in Aging
Ashley Seace, BA, CMC , AOS Care Manager
Question: My mom has started an elimination diet to feel better. She's avoiding gluten, dairy and some fruits and vegetables. I want her to feel good and to be healthy, but I'm worried she's not getting enough nutrients or calories. And I'm also worried this diet is causing her more anxiety. Should I say something to her or just stay out of it?
Answer: This is a fantastic question! Dietary concerns and the anxiety that surrounds not feeling well because of your diet are very common in the aging population. And as an adult child, you want to do what is best for your parents, but you also want to respect their space and boundaries.
My first question for you to consider is the relationship you have with your parents. Are you very involved in their care? If you are, I think it is completely appropriate for you to get involved with their diets and make sure everything is going smoothly for them. If you are not very involved with their care, they might show some resistance to you getting involved with their diets and what your parents are doing on a day-to-day basis.
If you’re concerned with the amount of nutrients or calories your parents are getting, it would be beneficial to consult with their primary care physician. Their primary care physician can make appropriate suggestions for supplemental calories. There are options out there to increase the number of calories someone is getting every day, such as Boost or Ensure, but it is important to consult with a medical provider before you start drinking them. I also think it would be a good idea for your parents to speak with a nutritionist because they can help them create a meal plan that is best suited to their dietary needs. A nutritionist will look at foods that trigger dietary problems, and they can discuss healthy ways for your parents to get the right nutrients and calories every day. It can be hard doing an elimination diet and finding foods that are both good tasting and have good nutritional value sometimes.
If you and your parents have a close relationship, it might be worth mentioning to them that they can always speak with a mental health provider as well. If their diet is making them anxious, it doesn’t hurt to talk to someone and make sure there aren’t any other factors playing into their anxiety. Taking care of yourself involves both caring for your physical needs and your emotional needs, so sometimes talking to an unbiased third party can be helpful. If their anxiety is caused by more than just the diet, then they can always try counseling or anxiety medication to address those feelings.
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It doesn’t hurt to bring up your concerns to your parents if you think it will be received well by them. In fact, they might be waiting for someone else to step in and assist them because they are anxious and overwhelmed trying to find foods that are safe for them to eat right now!