Ask the Duck: How to ask better questions and stop wasting time.

People get frustrated when they have a problem that they cannot solve. Especially when they think they have the answer, but it's the answer to the wrong question.

The saying is “ASK and you SHALL receive,” but you have to qualify that statement.

What will you receive if you ask? Will you get what you REALLY want? Or will you get what you asked for?

 “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” Albert Einstein

Sometimes we get the answers to our questions and when we do, we realize that we were asking the wrong questions to begin with.

To become better leaders we need to ask 10x more questions than the statements that we make. How often are you going around making statements in your company?

Instead of making statements, ask questions. The better that you become at asking questions, the better your life will be. Why?

Because questions drive the direction of your life.

Increase the quality of the questions, and you will increase the quality of your life.

“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.” – Bruce Lee

When something challenging happens in your life or in your business, do not ask “WHY me?” Instead ask “What is the opportunity here?” or “What is great about this situation?”

I often get people asking me general questions here on LinkedIn, and I do not always have time to get into lessons on how to ask better questions, so I am writing this in hopes that you READ it and you learn how to improve the questions that you are asking.

At Google they have a Rubber Duck. Let’s call him Ducky.

When someone asks a dumb question, they are told to go “Ask the DUCK.”

Check out Rubber Duck Debugging

There is a physical duck in the office and that duck is there for people to speak to and work out their question.

“If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.” – W. Edwards Deming

Let's say you have a financial issue. Instead of coming to me and saying “Joe, how do I make money?” Go ask the duck.

What do you think the duck will respond? QUACK!

Then you keep talking to the duck. And you might say,

“Well, I really need to figure out how to make money because I am in debt.

How did I get into debt? Well, I made some choices in my life that made me spend more than I have. Also, I do not have an education and the economy is bad.

Look, I just need some ideas to make money. Money is hard to come by for most people and I am not like most people. I know I can make it big, I just need support.

Ok, Duck! Where do I get the support I need to make more money?”

What do you think the duck will respond? QUACK!

Then you keep talking to the duck. And you might say,

“Look DUCKY, I know it sounds like I am making excuses right now, but it's really hard at home. I do not have time to make money. I work at my 9 to 5 job and then I am way too tired to do anything else. I am constantly worrying about my bills and it's getting worse each day. I do not even know where to begin.

Maybe I need to hire a coach or something, but I cannot afford a coach.

Do you think people will mentor me and guide me? That is what I need. I need a coach!

OK! Duck, Thank you. I have a better question now.”

-

Here is another example: let’s say you come to me and say. “Joe, got any tips for me?”

I will respond with “Ask the DUCK”

You walk over to the duck and you say, “I need some tips...What do you have for me?”

What do you think the duck will respond? QUACK!

Then you keep talking to the duck. And you might say,

“I really want to be better at public speaking but I am totally shy. But I don't even know if I want to be speaking to begin with. Also this social media thing is so scary, people are rude and crazy and there are so many trolls that just want to hurt you. What if someone says something bad about me? Duck, I really want to learn how to be better on online video. What are the practical steps that one needs to take to be better at making videos for LinkedIn?”

-

I think you are getting the point. Ask the duck and the duck will clarify your question.

Then you can come to me and by all means ask me a specific question that I can be helpful with.

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Tony Robbins

When the question is a GOOD question, I will not just answer you, I will THANK YOU!

Why? Because I want to help 1000 hungry entrepreneurs go from frustration to Mojovation. That means I need people who are HUNGRY - not people who want to be spoon fed.

People who are hungry will RIP OPEN THE PACKAGE OF LIFE.

If they do not get fed, they will become FRUSTRATED and ANGRY.

I want to see that PASSION for success.

When you come to me and say, "How do I live a better life?" I will say something like “The secret to living is giving,” and when you ask, “How do I become better at giving, when I do not have anything?” I will say something like “No one ever became poor by giving too much” and you might answer with something like “Joe, can you help me?” I might say, ASK THE DUCK.

I am not being mean, I need you to ask me specific questions so I can be helpful.

First I want you think about WHAT you WANT?

• Do I need a factually correct answer?
• Do I need an expert opinion?
• Do I need a well-reasoned judgment?

Here are 5 things that you to consider when you are asking a question:

1. Is this question an open-ended question or a closed-ended question?
2. Can I Google this question and get a quick answer?
3. Why am I asking the question? What is the question behind the question?
4. What will I do once I have the answer to my question?
5. How long will it take for my question to be answered?

Think about it this way: if you send me a message with a question, do you want me to give you a one second answer? Do you want me to spend 15 minutes answering you? Would you be willing to invest time and money getting your answer?

These are important things to consider when asking questions of people in your life.

Hope this article helps you get better at asking specific questions.

Joe Apfelbaum, CEO Ajax Union

PS: Join my webinar to learn how to create your very own Digital Marketing strategy on LinkedIn. It's called the LinkedIn Authority Blueprint https://www.ajaxunion.com/blueprintwebinar

Resources to ask better questions:

https://hbr.org/ideacast/2018/05/ask-better-questions.html

https://scottberkun.com/2018/how-and-why-to-ask-better-questions/

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-amazingly-good-asking-questions.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8xfuCcXZu8

Best questions to ask Mentors:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jomiller/2018/03/25/40-questions-to-ask-a-mentor/#27693dd3261b

https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/25-questions-to-ask-a-mentor

https://www.uschamberfoundation.org/questions-ask-mentor-and-tips-successful-mentoring-session

https://theresabradleybanta.com/23-extraordinary-questions-to-ask-your-mentor/

https://www.inc.com/young-entrepreneur-council/the-12-questions-you-should-be-asking-your-mentor.html

https://under30ceo.com/13-questions-always-ask-potential-mentor/

Best mentors ask you this:

https://www.fastcompany.com/40543989/the-best-mentors-ask-these-8-questions