Asians like you don't get promoted

The racist statement above was said to me by a toxic boss. It was a clear message that a Chinese woman approaching her 50’s was not considered for promotions.

HBR’s article Ask an Expert: What Should I Do If My Boss Is Gaslighting Me? is on point for describing how to survive a toxic boss including health warnings. Sharing my lived experience with a toxic boss confirming the author’s response and catalyst for change.

Gaslighting is the most covert way for toxic bosses’ to cover their tracks. Mine were white cisgender males. All manipulative and calculating in how they conducted their business. Corporate’s zero tolerance policy means the employee who raises and reports concerns is who bears the consequences.

Documented evidence of discrimination, bullying, harassment, and retaliation the firm disregards. They use the evidence provided to revise specific corporate policies. The firm protects and rewards the toxic bosses with promotions for a toxic job well-done.

BACKSTORY: I accepted a role with increased scope and responsibilities. The role stated and confirmed by toxic boss a promotion would be included in my acceptance of the job’s negotiated terms. This was a large transformation, everyone on the team would be learning and have a hand in executing the firm’s strategy. This role interested me more than others presented, in hindsight I should have listened to the indirect warnings.

I was convinced the role and outcomes would continue my career advancement. What happened was the complete opposite of the role’s responsibilities and terms I accepted. I didn’t achieve my career goal. I was setup to fail. Damaging my professional credibility and to drive me out of the firm.

The bullying, harassment, and retaliation experiences was unmistakeably discrimination against my race, gender, and age. By one toxic boss ringleader extending to group of toxic bosses who collaborated in targeting me. The events and actions contributed and triggered complex trauma.

Toxic boss ringleader, who we’ll call Theo, led by authority and fear. His direct reports or team members followed his lead. Other perspectives and applied experience was not considered nor allowed. Theo abused his power and influence with a direct-line to Senior Executives, establishing confrontation would result in retaliation.

Information was being withheld, excluded from meetings, micromanaged, taking credit for my work. Theo would provide direction and then change expectations after receiving deliverables. Feedback was inconsistent, reassigning my work to others causing confusion and duplicity in effort. Doubt and incompetence was conveyed to leadership and the team that I was unable to perform in the role.

Theo was confident, articulate, and abused his privilege. What I found in our interactions was insecurity and narcissistic characteristics. His primary goal was advancing his own career irregardless of the collateral damage.

His insecurity was not accepting feedback or criticisms and essay length emails to convey his competence in a new learned skill or stolen idea. Narcissistic with big ego, aggressive, and critical. Discounting experienced practitioners (like myself) by taking credit for our work and ideas. Arrogant in representing areas where he lacked expertise. Blocking the experts from performing their roles.

I reported issues to my upline management and HR. No actions were taken. More gaslighting. Not Theo they say. Are you sure? It was my words against theirs.

My support network was activated, but the effects of Theo’s actions extended to others who I trusted and revealed they too were toxic bosses. Exit plan activated exploring opportunities both within the firm and externally without success.

I compartmentalized what was happening to protect myself from more attacks. I was triggered from past experiences. All this was becoming detrimental to my health. I sought medical help to cope with toxic bosses’?“extreme lengths to preserve their ego and control over others.”

I inquired about my profile transfer and Theo retorted with a racist response?“ASIANS LIKE YOU DON’T GET PROMOTED”. I documented all our interactions, my normal cadence. The statement was a warning I should have heeded, as it led to the events and actions that unfolded. It was a clear message I didn’t belong; Chinese woman approaching her 50’s. Instead he actively exploited my time and expertise on the program. This while I concurrently and successfully led a social impact project for a national non-profit.

People and corporate administration asserted my allegations were retaliatory. Mandatory DEI training. NPS pulse surveys to assess the validity of my concerns. No transparency of survey actions to address negative or constructive feedback received from employees. Attrition by senior leaders not a red-flag, business as usual. Superficial actions to protect corporate’s lack of oversight and governance needed to abide by their policies and procedures.

Theo promoted the white, younger, lesser experienced practitioners on the program team. My role was firm funded, but the promotion was blocked by Theo’s inaction in completing HR procedures and transfer. Plus as a toxic boss parting gift, he provided subjective year-end performance feedback to ensure no career advancement further blocking opportunities.

AFTERWORD:?My lived experiences recognizes a systematic pattern and practice of discrimination. I have endured psychological and physical harm in reporting my concerns, events, and actions wielded by toxic bosses. The firm has failed in providing a respectful, inclusive work environment free of discrimination.

The discrimination needs to stop. Toxic bosses need to be held accountable. Firms need to stop the intergenerational grooming, enabling, support, and protecting toxic bosses. Data supports qualitative observations.

My lived experiences was the catalyst for change. Legal counsel engaged. A complaint was filed for Human Rights violations under Protected Area of Employment Practices on the Protected Grounds of Gender, Race, and Age.

I appreciate those who have reached out and providing your support. Thank you. I empathize with those who have and are sharing their experiences. I hear you. I see you. I believe you.

DEFINITIONS:?Asian Americans?as defined by the?United States Census Bureau?only includes people with origins or ancestry from the Far East, Southeast Asia, and the Indian subcontinent[10]?and excludes people with ethnic origins in certain parts of Asia, including?West Asia?who are now categorized as?Middle Eastern Americans.[11][12]?The “Asian” census category includes people who indicate their race(s) on the census as “Asian”.

Asian Canadians?are considered?visible minorities?and may be classified as?East Asian Canadians,?South Asian Canadians,?Southeast Asian Canadians, and?West Asian Canadians.[4]

Different classifications of Asians are captured separately within Canada versus the United States.

** Opinions are my own and not the views of my employer **

#diversityandinclusion #humanrightsviolations #racism #ageism #womensrights #workplacesafety #bullying #harassment #asianhertiage #chinesecanadian