The Asian American Community is Hurting. Here’s What We Can Do as Allies to Show Up for Them.

Last week I heard from several clients who were outraged and saddened by the increase in violence, racism, and other hate crimes against the Asian community. If you have not seen the news about the rise in anti-Asian hate crimes (much of it has been buried)  here is an article by the BBC that highlights some of the atrocities and the data on how much these crimes have increased over the past year. 

This is not right. 

Desmond Tutu (who was instrumental in leading reconciliation in South Africa) talks about humanity being interconnected. My humanity and your humanity are interconnected. Right now, the Asian American community is in pain. Their pain is our collective pain. I have heard from people who fear for their own & their families’ safety; who don’t feel safe going out in public or taking a walk in their own neighborhoods; who are outraged, sad, and in some cases feeling marginalized and invisible.

It can be difficult to know what to say, what to do, or how to be supportive. 

Some of you may be wondering how to help, and what to do? The answers may not feel simple, so I wanted to share a few ideas that have been meaningful across some of my client groups: 

Call a company meeting that is solely about sharing, listening, and connecting human-to-human. Acknowledge the hate & violence and give people the opportunity to share how they are feeling, how recent events have impacted them, and to voice their fear, sadness, concern, and anger. A quote I once heard was: “Being heard is so close to being loved that they are almost indistinguishable” (said by David Augsburger). When people are in pain, they need to feel seen, heard, valued, supported, and yes, loved. There are ways big and small to show your support.

If you do host a meeting, you may want to check-in with your Asian American employees to determine if they prefer to meet as a community, or if they would like to invite & include allies/all employees. I personally like the idea of inviting allies because I think it’s a great way to show support and convey the message that these atrocities are not the Asian American community’s problem to solve alone—we are in this together. It also shows that you care & are ready to listen. That said, company cultures differ, and you want to be sure that Asian American employees have an opportunity to shape the plan & lead the conversation to ensure maximum psychological safety.

Listen & demonstrate that you care (with the people 1:1) who you know in your community, neighborhood, workplace, and homes. This could be as simple & genuine as “Hey, I have seen the news on the increase in Asian violence & racism. I just want you to know that I am sorry this is happening to your community. I am here. I care. I am ___________(sad/outraged/feel a bit helpless/whatever is honest). I cannot imagine how this must be impacting you. If you ever want to talk or need support, I’m here.” 

Use your words of course.

Educate your kids. Let’s build a generation of Americans that is better than the last, shall we? Hate can be (and has been) taught. Love, empathy, and advocacy can be taught too. It’s not enough to say “I’m sad. This is awful. Asian people do not deserve this.” We must also seek to understand what brought us to this place and actively work to disrupt the ignorance and systemic racism at the root of these issues. Some good educational & advocacy resources include:

• Asian Americans Advancing Justice (advancingjustice-aajc.org)
• Stop AAPI Hate (stopaapihate.org)
• PBS Documentary Series: Asian Americans (https://www.pbs.org/show/asian-americans/)

Inclusion is about establishing environments where people (all people) feel a sense of belonging. One of the best ways to nurture belonging—just as we might with a family member who is struggling—is to reach out, pull them in close (in whatever way is appropriate), listen, learn, and show that you care….even if you aren’t entirely sure what to say or do. 

Just. Show. Up.