ASD & Me X-ray Vision

When I see a problem, obstacle, issue, target, goal, whatever you want to call it, I see it from many angles. I see potential concerns, problems that could pop up along the way and more. The best way for me to describe this to my wife was to say "when you see a problem you see a square; flat, 4 sides, 4 right angles, and you approach it with the information you gained from your perspective. I see a cube, I see 6 sides, I see through it, around it, in it, past it, all corners, edges, points and more." While you approach a task with a limited perspective, I have tuned into a deeper understanding of what is at play. This sounds selfish and narcissistic, as if I'm smarter or better than you. I assure you that I'm not. My brain is wired to focus on these small details and identify/categorize them then store them for use at a later date.

Have you ever seen that movie Avengers - Infinity War part 1? There's a scene where Dr. Strange lives out each scenario in his mind until he finds the 1 and only version that works and helps the Avengers defeat the villain. That's sorta how it works for me. Obviously I don't twitch and see millions of outcomes in a fraction of a second, although that would be pretty rad. Instead, I see indicators of what could cause a disruption or steer me towards a dead end and then I actively seek outcomes that avoid those dead ends.

A lot of what I do is based on past failures. I've messed up and I've watched others mess stuff up too. I noted those mistakes and stored them in my brain for later access. Here's an example of how I've used this in real life. I was adjusting a rear derailleur on a bicycle. I had checked almost every aspect of the drive train but I couldn't get it to shift flawlessly. I double checked my shifter, my cable, the hanger, the wheel was centered, but I missed 1 thing. Foolish me had used an asymmetrical chain and installed it in the wrong direction. This was the one and only time that I made this mistake. It was at that point that I made a mental note and stored it away in the vault. Fast forward 10 years and I see a mechanic struggling to adjust the rear derailleur on a bike. I ask politely if I could take a look. He was growing frustrated and gladly moved aside so that i could take a look. I assessed the shifter, cable, hanger, wheel, and chain *including the direction of the asymmetrical chain. guess what was wrong. In a flash I identified the problem and corrected it. That mechanic thought it was remarkable that I picked up on it so quickly. What he doesn't know is that I saw multiple outcomes at the same time and based on my own past experiences I knew to include the direction of the chain in my process.

This is all great but there's a huge issue with how I communicate my perspective to those who perceive things differently. It's frustrating AF too. Especially when I think the questions I'm being asked are silly. Sometimes I get asked for replacement parts for a customers bike. They give me a square of information "I need a tube for my bike" Immediately I buckle up for the ride, I bullet-proof my words in a way that the customer will understand. I ask, what size tube? If they know the size and the valve type we're cookin' and if not the games begin, lolz. My follow up questions are which bike do you own? If they don't know that, sometimes they don't, I ask if they bought it here. If they did I try to look it up, if not I ask them for help, pictures, phone a friend, I'm even willing to sell them the tube they think it is and state that if it's wrong bring it back without opening it and I'll swap it out for them. I say to myself, how could I possibly be expected to know what tube to sell them with such extremely limited information? They present me with the square they see and I react to the cube that I see. If I'm not careful I'll upset them and drive a negative interaction. It's up to me to own the communication process. If it breaks down it's my fault.

Perspective comes down to which party owns the failure. I actively try to accept total responsibility for the communication failures that involve me. Especially if I'm the one that has the privilege of seeing things from a larger perspective. When I have a greater field of vision and access to more data it becomes my ethical responsibility to own any and all associated failures. In short, when you show me a square it's my goal to react to the cube without letting you know that I'm seeing the cube. That way we both walk away feeling good about our interaction. Share your square...

As always, I'm a human being and I'm prone to making mistakes. I'm not an expert in spelling or grammar, if you find a mistake in this article and want to let me know, please do so in a private message.

Thank you for spending your time and energy with me today.