Asaram and the Scorpion

I imagined it to be yet another mundane winter tuesday morning in?the sluggish and sleepy suburbs where I habitat; but to all my excitement it turned out a lot different.?

As I walked towards the glass door of my basement lobby, i couldn’t help but notice a “little - not so little something” circumbulating with a heavy baggage!! It was unclear if the baggage was “it”self or the many (may be eight) legs it was locomoting on or the stinger that was curved over it.. I realised then, that it was the familiar picture I see in the newspaper,?horoscope section for people born between October 23rd to November, 22nd.?

While my mind recalled the horoscope section, my body was scoping the horror in front of me. Net-net I could sense the breath zipping out of me and felt like a windless balloon ready to fly!!!?

It was an emotional rendezvous of sorts, excitement mixed with fear - “woh pehli nazar (love at first sight)” types!! I was looking at it sprinting away to glory, from the other side of the glass, meekly shouting out “watchman, watchman” as I was short winded and as my emotional upheaval, erased my memory of the term “security” as the modern age connotation for guards. As a whiff of biogas swept from the nearby convenience chamber pushed by the cold winter breeze, I gathered breath and hooted as loud as I can, when Asaram came running!!

With fear sweeping away my emotion and intellect, I had a brief distraction of happiness when I realised he was not suffixed with a “Bapu”, lest I may be running in a different direction!!! Asaram was dashing more than the Bichu (scorpion is called Bichu in Hindi) branding his Lathi and elegantly posing in front of the eight legged, as my mind started humming “Bichu mere nayna badi zaharili ankh maare….” only that I had a chunky and podgy Asaram in place of a svelte and lissome Katrina..?

I could make do with that, only if Asaram was able to make room enough for my safe passage back home. When Ashram put his heroic act of pulling out a paper to push out the creature, I pulled out my mobile to click a picture. Asaram was even more enthusiastic to pose for the picture as a knight with his decrepit lathi in one hand and the other hand on his broad and extensive waist, twisted a little more to hide the bulkiness..but I was interested only in the non-sapien living thing to be captured in the frame from a very safe distance before running towards the elevator and heading home…