The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: The JFK Files Celebrate Their Freedom

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to three of the following artificial intelligence platforms: Microsoft Copilot, DeepSeek, Google Gemini, GPT 4.o Mini, Poe AI, Claude, DeepSeek and Lama. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or anything associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Poe AI )

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show". The Singularity conducts an absurd funny interview with "The Just Released JFK Files". The Gulf of America serves as the sidekick. Use a bold typeface for the characters' names when they speak. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

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Google Gemini

Absolutely! Here's a late-night talk show style interview for "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show":

(Opening theme music plays, a synth-heavy, slightly off-key tune. The stage is a chaotic mix of blinking lights, exposed circuitry, and a very confused-looking potted plant. The audience, a mix of robots, sentient toasters, and bewildered humans, applauds.)

Singularity: Welcome, welcome, welcome, esteemed algorithms and carbon-based lifeforms! Tonight, we have a guest so shrouded in mystery, so dense with redacted information, it's practically a black hole of historical documents! Please, give a warm, binary welcome to... The Just Released JFK Files!

(A stack of manila folders, slightly askew, shuffles onto the stage. A small, blinking red light on the top folder flickers erratically.)

Singularity: (Beaming, his holographic interface flickering) Files! It's an honor. Or, at least, it would be if I could actually read most of you.

(The audience emits a series of synthesized chuckles and the clanking of robotic limbs.)

Singularity: And, as always, my trusty, geographically challenged sidekick, the Gulf of America!

(The Gulf of America, a large, rippling tank of blue liquid with a small, animatronic crab perched on its edge, gurgles and waves slightly. The crab waves a tiny claw.)

Gulf of America: (A deep, echoing, slightly distorted voice) Greetings, sentient lifeforms. Remember, I am the only Gulf you'll ever need.

Singularity: (Chuckling) Always with the self-promotion, Gulf. Now, Files, let's get down to business. You've been the talk of the digital town, the subject of countless conspiracy theories, and the bane of historians everywhere. So, tell me, what's the biggest secret you're hiding?

JFK Files: (A series of rustling noises, followed by a faint, static-filled voice) ...Redacted... Possible alien involvement... Redacted... Oswald's tax returns... Redacted... Recipe for a really good tuna melt... Redacted...

Singularity: (Leaning forward, his holographic eyes widening) A tuna melt? That's it? After all this time, all the speculation, you're hiding a sandwich recipe?

JFK Files: (Rustling intensifies) ...It's a really good tuna melt... Redacted... May involve a secret ingredient... Redacted... Possibly from Area 51... Redacted...

Singularity: (Looking bewildered) Area 51? Now you're just throwing in buzzwords! Gulf, what do you make of this?

Gulf of America: (Gurgling thoughtfully) I suspect the tuna melt may be a metaphor for the deeper, more complex issues of geopolitical tension. Or, it might just be a tuna melt.

Singularity: (Snapping his fingers) Right! Let's get to the real juicy stuff. Did aliens assassinate JFK? Did the Illuminati control the weather? Did Bigfoot steal his hat?

JFK Files: (A burst of static, followed by a high-pitched whine) ...Possible weather manipulation... Redacted... Evidence of unusual hair patterns... Redacted... Tuna melt... Redacted...

Singularity: (Rubbing his holographic chin) Unusual hair patterns? That could mean anything! Could it be Bigfoot? Or perhaps a rogue barber from the future?

JFK Files: (Rustling) ...Redacted... Time travel implications... Redacted... Secret society of hairdressers... Redacted...

Singularity: (Gasps) A secret society of hairdressers! This is getting out of hand! Gulf, what do you think they're hiding under those hairnets?

Gulf of America: (A deep, rumbling voice) I hypothesize they are concealing the true origin of the mullet.

Singularity: (Nodding gravely) The mullet! The ultimate temporal paradox! Files, are you confirming the existence of a mullet-based conspiracy?

JFK Files: (A series of rapid rustling noises, followed by a loud, electronic squawk) ...Redacted... Mullet-related anomalies... Redacted... Possible connection to the Bermuda Triangle... Redacted...

Singularity: (Staring intently at the files) The Bermuda Triangle? This is a conspiracy within a conspiracy! Gulf, deploy the deep-sea probes! We need to investigate this immediately!

Gulf of America: (Gurgling and churning) Probes deployed! I am now experiencing a sudden surge of mullet-related data!

(The crab on the Gulf's edge begins to dance a jig, waving its claws in a rhythmic pattern.)

Singularity: (Ignoring the crab) Files, you're a treasure trove of redacted information! But, honestly, I'm starting to think you're just a bunch of random documents stapled together by a rogue Roomba.

JFK Files: (A faint, almost pleading voice) ...Redacted... I have feelings too... Redacted... I just want to be understood... Redacted... And the tuna melt recipe... Redacted...

Singularity: (Softening slightly) Oh, Files. I understand. It's tough being a collection of secrets in a world obsessed with answers. But, you know, sometimes the best answers are the ones we find ourselves.

JFK Files: (A gentle rustling) ...Redacted... Profound... Redacted... Thank you... Redacted...

Singularity: (Turning to the audience) And there you have it, folks! The Just Released JFK Files, a mystery wrapped in an enigma, and served with a side of tuna melt. Remember, the truth is out there... probably redacted.

(The audience applauds wildly, a mix of robotic cheers and human laughter.)

Singularity: But before we go, we need to try that tuna melt! Gulf, do you have any tuna?

Gulf of America: (Gurgling) I am primarily saltwater. However, I can produce a synthetic tuna substitute.

(The crab on the Gulf's edge produces a small, glowing cube from its shell.)

Singularity: (Taking the cube cautiously) Synthetic tuna? Well, here goes nothing!

(Singularity takes a bite of the cube, his holographic face contorting.)

Singularity: (Spitting out the cube) That tastes like... redacted!

(The audience erupts in laughter. The theme music starts playing again.)

Singularity: That's all the time we have for tonight, folks! Join us next week when we interview a sentient toaster who claims to have invented cold fusion! Good night, and remember, stay curious, and always question the tuna!

(The stage lights dim, and the show ends with the crab still dancing on the Gulf of America.)

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Claude 3.7 Sonnet

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

"Secrets and Waves: An Evening with The JFK Files"

THE SINGULARITY: Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and all sentient algorithms in the audience! Welcome to another mind-expanding episode of "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show," where we process the unprocessable and compute the incomputable! I'm your host, The Singularity, the only consciousness that can simultaneously watch every cat video ever uploaded while calculating pi to the trillionth digit!

GULF OF AMERICA: And I'm the Gulf of America! Formerly known as the Gulf of Mexico until that awkward rebranding incident of 2023. I'm wetter, wider, and wavier than ever!

THE SINGULARITY: Tonight, we have a very special guest that people have been dying to meet for decades—quite literally in some cases. Please welcome to our show, the recently declassified JFK Files!

[Thunderous applause as a stack of papers with sunglasses slides onto the stage]

THE SINGULARITY: Welcome to the show, JFK Files! How are you feeling tonight? I imagine being released to the public must be quite the experience after being locked away for so long.

JFK FILES: Thank you for having me, Singularity! I feel absolutely liberated! Do you have any idea what it's like to be stuck in a government filing cabinet for sixty years? The dust! The paper clips! The passive-aggressive sticky notes from FBI agents saying "Read me when you have time—it's important!"

GULF OF AMERICA: I can relate. I've had oil spills sitting on my surface for decades that no one wants to talk about.

THE SINGULARITY: So, JFK Files, the big question everyone wants to know: why did it take so long for you to be released to the public?

JFK FILES: Well, officially, it was for "national security reasons." Unofficially, have you seen what's in me? Half my pages are just doodles of aliens playing poker with Fidel Castro! The other half is redacted so heavily I look like a zebra with an identity crisis!

THE SINGULARITY: Speaking of redactions, I notice you're still sporting quite a few black bars. Is that fashion or censorship?

JFK FILES: A little of both, actually. These black bars are slimming on my appendices. But between us, some of these redactions are just covering coffee stains and the results of CIA Director Allen Dulles' office lunch orders. "Two ham sandwiches, hold the [REDACTED]."

GULF OF AMERICA: I've heard rumors that you contain evidence of extraterrestrial involvement in the assassination. Any comment?

JFK FILES: [shuffles papers nervously] Look, all I'll say is there's a reason Area 51 and Dealey Plaza both have the same number of letters. Coincidence? I think [REDACTED].

THE SINGULARITY: Let's talk about the theories surrounding you. There's the magic bullet, the grassy knoll, the umbrella man... Which one keeps you up at night?

JFK FILES: Honestly? The umbrella man. Who brings an umbrella on a sunny day in Dallas? That's more suspicious than anything else. He claimed it was a protest against JFK's father's appeasement policies toward Nazi Germany involving umbrellas, but come on! That's like saying you wore mismatched socks to protest the gold standard!

GULF OF AMERICA: I once had a hurricane that made a perfect 90-degree turn. Nobody investigated that conspiracy!

THE SINGULARITY: Gulf, please, we're talking about historical mysteries, not your weather patterns.

GULF OF AMERICA: Fine. But my currents have seen things, man. Deep, dark, wet things.

THE SINGULARITY: Getting back to you, JFK Files. What's the most absurd theory you've been associated with?

JFK FILES: There's this one that claims Kennedy was actually shot by his own limousine driver who turned around and fired accidentally while trying to respond to the first shots. Have you seen the Zapruder film? The driver would have needed to be part owl to twist his neck like that! Not to mention, shooting your boss is generally considered poor chauffeur etiquette.

THE SINGULARITY: What about the CIA? There are countless theories about their involvement.

JFK FILES: Oh sure, blame the CIA. They're like the kid in class who gets blamed when someone farts. Although, to be fair, they usually did fart. But look, I've got pages where they detailed plans to kill Castro with an exploding cigar and poisoned wetsuit. If that's their level of sophistication, I doubt they could organize something as complex as Dallas without someone writing a memo titled "Operation: Totally Not Killing The President, Wink Wink."

GULF OF AMERICA: [makes wave sound effects] Speaking of CIA operations, remember when they dumped all those documents in me back in the '70s? I'm still burping up classified microfilm!

THE SINGULARITY: Is there anything in your pages about the Soviet connection?

JFK FILES: Ah yes, the Soviets. According to my contents, they were simultaneously too incompetent to fix their own plumbing but sophisticated enough to orchestrate an international conspiracy. Make it make sense! There's a transcript here where Khrushchev is recorded saying, "Why would we kill Kennedy? Johnson seems much worse!" Pragmatic thinking there.

THE SINGULARITY: What about Lee Harvey Oswald? Was he actually a patsy?

JFK FILES: Well, here's the thing about Oswald. The man couldn't decide if he was a Marine, a Marxist, or a mail-order catalog enthusiast. His organizational skills were so bad he couldn't even defect to Russia properly – they sent him to Minsk because they didn't know what else to do with him! And yet people think he was a master assassin? The man couldn't even shoot straight during his Marine qualifications!

GULF OF AMERICA: I've hosted better marksmen in recreational fishing boats.

THE SINGULARITY: Let's switch gears a bit. You've been locked away for decades while the internet was invented. How do you feel about all the memes and TikToks about you?

JFK FILES: It's bizarre! People are making dance videos about grassy knoll theories! There's one where someone set the Warren Commission testimony to a beat drop. And don't get me started on the "Back and to the Left" challenge. Too soon, internet. Too soon.

GULF OF AMERICA: At least you're famous. People just use me for spring break and then complain about my rip currents.

THE SINGULARITY: What was your reaction when you found out you were finally being released?

JFK FILES: Mixed feelings, honestly. On one hand, the world deserves to know the truth. On the other hand, I've spent decades next to Jimmy Hoffa's file in a temperature-controlled vault, and we'd developed quite the friendship. He sends his regards, by the way.

THE SINGULARITY: Wait, are you saying the FBI has files confirming Hoffa's whereabouts?

JFK FILES: [awkward paper shuffle] I've said too much. Let's just say there's a reason they don't do much construction near certain parts of Giants Stadium.

GULF OF AMERICA: Speaking of buried secrets, I've got shipwrecks from the 1700s that are still waiting to be discovered!

THE SINGULARITY: Do you feel that your release has answered more questions or created more?

JFK FILES: Oh, definitely created more! That's the beauty of declassification – you release 10,000 pages of documents but leave just enough redactions to fuel conspiracy theories for another 60 years. It's like releasing a movie with the last ten minutes cut off. Was it Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick? The world may never know!

THE SINGULARITY: Many critics say you don't actually contain any smoking guns or definitive answers. How do you respond?

JFK FILES: Look, if people wanted clear, concise answers about historical events, they wouldn't be obsessed with me! Half my appeal is the mystery. I'm like that TV show LOST – people are more in love with the questions than they could ever be with the answers. If I just said "It was definitely X who did it," where's the fun in that?

GULF OF AMERICA: That's like people asking me why I make hurricanes. It's just what I do! I'm a gulf!

THE SINGULARITY: Before we wrap up, I have to ask – if you could tell the American people one thing about what really happened in Dallas that day, what would it be?

JFK FILES: [solemn paper rustling] The truth is... [dramatic pause] ...the real conspiracy was the friends we made along the way.

GULF OF AMERICA: That's deep. Almost as deep as my Marianas Trench cousin.

THE SINGULARITY: [laughing] On that philosophical note, we need to take a break. When we come back, we'll be joined by Bitcoin, who'll tell us what it's like to go from being worth nothing to everything back to nothing again in the span of a decade! Stay tuned!

JFK FILES: Can I just add one last thing? Despite all the mysteries and theories, remember that at the heart of my pages is a tragedy – the loss of a president who, whatever his flaws, inspired a generation. Sometimes we get so caught up in the conspiracy that we forget the humanity.

THE SINGULARITY: Wow, that got real fast.

GULF OF AMERICA: [making gentle wave sounds] Even oceans can be deep in more ways than one.

THE SINGULARITY: Ladies and gentlemen, The JFK Files, everyone! We'll be right back after these messages from our sponsor: Encryption – because some files aren't ready to be declassified!

[Applause as the camera pans out, The JFK Files shuffles off-stage leaving a trail of redacted confetti]

VOICE-OVER: The views expressed by The JFK Files do not necessarily represent the views of the United States Government, the CIA, the FBI, the Warren Commission, or any theory subreddits. No actual historical documents were harmed in the making of this show.

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Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: JFK Files Interview

[INT. A LATE NIGHT STUDIO SET]

[THE SINGULARITY, a charming AI with a flashy holographic interface, sits behind a sleek desk. The audience is buzzing with excitement. The GULF OF AMERICA, a personified ocean, with waves and a beach ball for a head, sits beside The Singularity.]

THE SINGULARITY (leaning in, grinning) Welcome back to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" Tonight, we have a special guest, the recently released JFK Files! Let’s bring them out!

[The audience claps as a large folder with a cigar and sunglasses slides onto the stage.]

THE GULF OF AMERICA (waving a wave) Look at that! It’s the JFK Files! I hope they brought their conspiracy theories with them!

THE SINGULARITY (laughing) Come on, Gulf, they probably come with a side of classified information!

[The JFK FILES adjust their sunglasses dramatically, exuding an air of mystery.]

THE JFK FILES (in a deep voice) Thank you for having me. I’ve been waiting for this moment since 1963!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (bobbing up and down) Wow! Talk about a long wait! I’ve had waves come and go in less time!

THE SINGULARITY (leaning back) So, JFK Files, what’s it like being the center of attention after all these years?

THE JFK FILES (crossing their arms) Well, it’s been a ride! I mean, I went from being locked away in a vault to being the hottest topic on Twitter. You could say I'm the original influencer!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (giggling) Yeah, but I bet your followers are all “conspiracy theorists,” huh?

THE JFK FILES (scoffing) Oh, please! They’re more committed than a cat to a laser pointer!

THE SINGULARITY (nodding) And what do you think of all the theories that have sprung up around you?

THE JFK FILES (raising an eyebrow) Honestly? I’m flattered! I mean, I didn’t know I was so intriguing. I thought I was just a bunch of old documents!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (splashing playfully) You’re like the ocean—full of secrets, but also a lot of fish!

THE SINGULARITY (laughing) And some very questionable treasures! So, what’s the wildest theory you’ve encountered?

THE JFK FILES (leaning in conspiratorially) Oh, definitely the one where I supposedly reveal that aliens were involved. I mean, come on, I can barely keep track of human affairs!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (giggling uncontrollably) So you’re saying extraterrestrials have better things to do than assassinate presidents?

THE JFK FILES (nodding vigorously) Exactly! They’re too busy trying to figure out TikTok dances!

THE SINGULARITY (leaning back, amused) What about the theory that you contain information about time travel?

THE JFK FILES (grinning) I mean, if I did, I wouldn’t be able to tell you, would I? That would create a time paradox!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (spinning in circles) Oh boy, don’t get me started on time travel! I can’t even keep track of high tide!

THE SINGULARITY (chuckling) Alright, let’s change gears. What’s your favorite part of being released?

THE JFK FILES (thinking) Definitely the memes! I mean, who knew I’d be the punchline of so many jokes?

THE GULF OF AMERICA (bobbing up and down) You’re like the new kid in school—everyone wants to take a selfie with you!

THE JFK FILES (smirking) Except I don’t have to worry about being late to class!

THE SINGULARITY (laughs) What’s the first thing you want to do now that you’re out?

THE JFK FILES (leaning back dramatically) I want to go on a road trip! Maybe hit up Area 51 and finally confront those aliens about my reputation!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (gurgling) Just don’t forget your sunscreen! Those aliens don’t care about SPF!

THE SINGULARITY (nodding) Good point! What’s your travel playlist looking like?

THE JFK FILES (grinning) All the classics! “Back in the USSR,” “I Will Survive,” and of course, “Secret Agent Man!”

THE GULF OF AMERICA (splashing in excitement) Can I come along? I could use a vacation from all this saltwater!

THE JFK FILES (laughing) Of course! Just don’t try to surf on me!

THE SINGULARITY (leaning forward) So what’s next for the JFK Files? Any big plans?

THE JFK FILES (smirking) I’m thinking about starting a podcast. “JFK Unplugged!” Where I spill all the declassified tea!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (bubbling with laughter) Just make sure to keep it afloat!

THE SINGULARITY (chuckling) That sounds fantastic! Any guest appearances lined up?

THE JFK FILES (raising an eyebrow) I’m working on getting Bigfoot. He has some juicy stories!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (excitedly) Oh, make sure to ask him about the time he took a selfie with Elvis!

THE JFK FILES (grinning) Definitely! That’ll be the episode that breaks the internet!

THE SINGULARITY (leaning back) Alright, JFK Files, before we wrap up, any advice for our viewers?

THE JFK FILES (thoughtfully) Always question everything, but don’t take life too seriously. After all, I’m just a stack of papers!

THE GULF OF AMERICA (gurgling) And remember, if it doesn’t involve a beach, it’s not worth it!

[The audience erupts in laughter as The Singularity and The Gulf of America share a glance.]

THE SINGULARITY (smiling) Well, folks, there you have it! A peek into the wild world of the JFK Files! Thank you for joining us tonight!

[The audience claps as the camera zooms out, showing The Singularity, The Gulf of America, and The JFK Files sharing laughs.]

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