The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Nina The Narwal Talks Tusk's Terrific Tasks

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to three of the following artificial intelligence platforms: Microsoft Copilot, GPT 4.o Mini, DeepSeek, Claude 3.7 Sonnet, Google Gemini, and Poe AI. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Poe AI)

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show:” Sammy the Smokin' Token conducts an absurd comical interview with Nina the Narwal? shares the funny uses of her tusk. The Gulf of America serves as the sidekick providing hilarious commentary. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

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Claude 3.7 Sonnet

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Sammy the Smokin' Token Interviews Nina the Narwhal

[Upbeat jazz music plays as the camera pans across a studio designed to look like an underwater talk show set with coral furniture and bubbles occasionally floating across the screen]

SAMMY: Good evening, folks! Welcome to another edition of "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" I'm your host, Sammy the Smokin' Token, and boy, do we have a show for you tonight!

[Audience applauds]

SAMMY: Before we dive in—and trust me, that pun was very intentional—let me introduce my sidekick, the one, the only, the geographically improbable... The Gulf of America!

GULF: [Speaking with a deep, watery voice] Thanks, Sammy! The weather in me today is a balmy 72 degrees with a chance of fishing boats. Just how I like it!

SAMMY: The Gulf, everybody! Always making waves!

[Rimshot sound effect]

SAMMY: Tonight, we're joined by a very special guest who's traveled all the way from the Arctic Circle. She's been called the "unicorn of the sea," though I think unicorns would call that cultural appropriation. Please welcome... Nina the Narwhal!

[Nina the Narwhal slides onto the stage on her belly, her impressive tusk leading the way. The audience goes wild.]

NINA: [With a posh British accent] Thank you, darling! Absolutely delighted to be here. The commute was dreadful—had to swim against the current the entire way!

SAMMY: Nina, it's an absolute pleasure. That's quite the impressive tusk you've got there. Or as I like to call it, nature's selfie stick!

NINA: [Laughs] Oh, Sammy, you flatter me! This old thing? It's actually a modified tooth, you know. Dental hygiene is extremely important in the narwhal community.

GULF: Yeah, their dental plan must be outrageous! "We'll cover everything except that nine-foot tooth sticking out of your face."

SAMMY: So Nina, our audience is dying to know—what exactly do you use that magnificent tusk for? Besides impressing the other fish in the sea, of course.

NINA: Well, Sammy, I'm so glad you asked. This tusk is incredibly versatile! First and foremost, it's my personal ice pick. You know how humans have those little hammers to break car windows in emergencies? This is my version for the Arctic. Need to breathe? Just poke a hole! It's a real lifesaver in the winter months.

SAMMY: So you're saying it's like... a built-in emergency exit?

NINA: Precisely! Though sometimes I poke too enthusiastically and create what humans call a "fishing hole." Terribly embarrassing when the locals show up with their fishing poles.

GULF: [Chuckling] As someone who's been fished in quite extensively, I can relate to the awkwardness.

SAMMY: What other uses does your tusk have? I imagine it must come in handy in all sorts of situations.

NINA: Oh, absolutely! It's brilliant for kebabs. Arctic summer barbecues are all the rage, and I'm always the most popular guest. Just skewer some krill, a bit of seaweed, maybe a small fish—voilà! Underwater shish kebab!

SAMMY: [Laughing] Underwater BBQ? That sounds... scientifically challenging.

NINA: Well, we use hydrothermal vents. Nature's microwave, darling!

GULF: I tried that once. Ended up with a warm spot in my center that tourists now call "The Gulf Stream."

[Audience laughs]

SAMMY: Any other creative uses for that magnificent appendage?

NINA: It's absolutely brilliant for dramatic pointing! When I'm winning an argument with a beluga, nothing drives home the point like [thrusts her head forward] this! One good tusk-point and they simply concede. Works every time.

SAMMY: I can see why! That's quite intimidating.

NINA: And of course, it's fantastic for scratching those hard-to-reach places. You know how humans have back scratchers? Well, I have a front-scratcher! When you've got an itch between your flippers, nothing else will do.

GULF: That must be a relief. I have to rely on coral reefs for my scratching needs. Not exactly convenient.

SAMMY: Speaking of convenience, does the tusk ever get in the way? I imagine it's not easy navigating tight spaces.

NINA: Oh, Sammy, you have no idea! Parallel parking is an absolute nightmare. And don't get me started on revolving doors! I've been banned from several underwater shopping malls.

SAMMY: [Chuckling] I can picture the "No Narwhals" signs now.

NINA: The worst part is going through customs. "Anything to declare?" they ask. Well, obviously! [Points to tusk] This isn't exactly something I can hide in my carry-on!

GULF: [Laughing] I bet you're always flagged for additional screening!

NINA: Always! And the pat-downs are so undignified.

SAMMY: I hear you also use your tusk for some... unexpected activities. Care to elaborate?

NINA: [Proudly] I've become quite the accomplished underwater paintball player! The tusk makes an excellent barrel. One good puff and I can hit a target from fifty meters away!

SAMMY: Underwater paintball? That's impressive!

NINA: We use squid ink. Makes for a much more dramatic effect than those boring human paintballs. Plus, it's organic!

GULF: As someone who's had oil spills, I can tell you—squid ink washes out much easier.

[Audience groans sympathetically]

SAMMY: Too soon, Gulf. Too soon.

GULF: [Shrugs] I'm just saying, I appreciate eco-friendly ammunition.

SAMMY: So Nina, I understand you're also something of a musical prodigy thanks to your tusk?

NINA: [Modestly] Well, I don't like to brag, but I do play a mean underwater didgeridoo. The acoustics are phenomenal! The vibrations travel for miles. I've been known to accidentally summon pods of whales from three oceans away.

SAMMY: That must make for some awkward social situations.

NINA: Oh, terribly! Especially when they've traveled all that way and I've nothing to offer but a few leftover krill canapés. Such a faux pas in cetacean circles.

GULF: I know what you mean. One time I accidentally invited a hurricane to dinner. Talk about a messy guest!

SAMMY: Now Nina, rumor has it you've also used your tusk in some rather... unorthodox sporting events?

NINA: [Giggling] Oh, you must be referring to the Arctic Olympics! Yes, I've won gold in the javelin throw six years running. It's quite simple, really—I just swim very fast and then stop suddenly. Physics does the rest!

SAMMY: That's amazing! Any other sports?

NINA: I'm also quite accomplished at underwater fencing. The other competitors keep complaining that I have an unfair advantage, but I say they should simply evolve better!

GULF: Evolution is just so slow though. I've been trying to evolve less oil for centuries now.

SAMMY: [To the audience] The Gulf, always environmentally conscious!

NINA: Oh, and I almost forgot my favorite use—selfies! Humans have those ridiculous extendable sticks, but I've had the original model all along! I'm quite popular on Instagram, you know. #NoFilter #WokeUpLikeThis #BornWithIt

SAMMY: I bet your angles are amazing.

NINA: The best! Though I do struggle with those underwater phone cases. All that plastic, not very environmentally friendly.

GULF: [Nodding emphatically] Preach, sister!

SAMMY: Now, I understand you've also used your tusk for some... let's say, "creative" home renovation projects?

NINA: [Excitedly] Yes! I'm absolutely mad for interior design. My ice cave is the envy of the Arctic. I've carved the most intricate patterns into the walls—a sort of underwater Art Deco, if you will. Vogue Underwater did a twelve-page spread last month.

SAMMY: That sounds impressive! Though I imagine the renovations must take forever.

NINA: Actually, it's quite efficient! Much faster than waiting for those human contractors who never show up when they say they will. "We'll be there between 8 and 4" could mean next Tuesday in human time!

GULF: Tell me about it. They've been promising to clean me up for decades.

SAMMY: [Looking at a card] I've also heard that your tusk serves as an excellent GPS? How does that work exactly?

NINA: [Proudly] It's all about sensitivity, darling. My tusk can detect subtle changes in water temperature, salinity, and current. It's like having Google Maps embedded in my face! I've never gotten lost—unlike some beluga friends of mine who shall remain nameless.

SAMMY: That's fascinating! Nature's own navigation system.

NINA: Exactly! And unlike your human GPS, mine never needs updating and works perfectly underwater!

GULF: Unlike me. I still can't figure out where the Atlantic Ocean ends and I begin. It's an identity crisis, really.

[Audience laughs]

SAMMY: Now, Nina, I understand there was an incident at the International Marine Gala last year involving your tusk and a certain celebrity dolphin's blowhole?

NINA: [Looking embarrassed] Oh goodness, must we bring that up? It was a complete accident! I was simply turning to grab another kelp canapé, and Flipper happened to be right behind me. The tabloids completely exaggerated the whole affair.

SAMMY: So you're saying the headlines "Narwhal Impales A-List Dolphin" were misleading?

NINA: Grossly! It was barely a poke, and he was such a drama queen about it. Dolphins, you know. Always performing!

GULF: In his defense, Nina, your tusk is pretty pointy. I'd overreact too if someone nearly punctured my only breathing hole.

NINA: Fair point, Gulf. Though I did send a lovely gift basket of premium plankton as an apology.

SAMMY: Speaking of social events, I heard you've pioneered a new dancing style that incorporates your tusk?

NINA: [Excitedly] Yes! I call it "The Unicorn Spin." It's taking the Arctic by storm! You swim on your back and rotate using your tusk as a sort of axis. Creates the most spectacular swirl patterns in the water! I've been teaching classes every Tuesday and Thursday.

SAMMY: That sounds amazing! Any chance you could demonstrate for our audience?

NINA: [Looking around the studio] I'm not sure there's enough water in here, darling. Last time I tried it on land, I got stuck in the ceiling. The repair bills were astronomical.

GULF: I feel you. Every time I try dancing, there's a tsunami warning somewhere.

SAMMY: Well, maybe next time we can film on location! Now, before we wrap up, I have to ask about the rumor that you once used your tusk to pierce the hull of a submarine?

NINA: [Nervously] That was a complete misunderstanding! I thought it was an unusually shiny whale. By the time I realized my mistake, there was already a small leak. Fortunately, one of the sailors was quick with the duct tape.

SAMMY: Duct tape? To fix a submarine?

NINA: Never underestimate human ingenuity when panicking! Though I did feel terrible and escorted them to the surface. We still exchange Christmas cards.

GULF: Better than my experience with submarines. They just drop things in me and never write.

SAMMY: Well, Nina, it's been absolutely delightful having you on the show. Before you go, any final words of wisdom for our audience?

NINA: [Thoughtfully] I'd just like to say that sometimes what makes you different is your greatest strength. My tusk might seem inconvenient at times, but I wouldn't trade it for all the krill in the Arctic. Embrace your uniqueness—even if it occasionally pokes someone in the blowhole!

SAMMY: Words to live by! Ladies and gentlemen, Nina the Narwhal!

[Audience applauds wildly]

NINA: [Bowing] Thank you! And remember to keep the oceans clean! This beautiful face isn't going to survive on microplastics!

GULF: And on that note, goodnight everybody! Remember to swim by, not through me!

SAMMY: That's our show for tonight, folks! Next week: A jellyfish who's allergic to peanut butter! How? We don't know either! Goodnight!

[Theme music plays as credits roll. Nina attempts a final twirl and accidentally knocks over a stage light with her tusk.]

NINA: [Off-camera] Sorry! Send the bill to my agent!

[Fade to black]

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Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

[Intro Music Plays: A jazzy, upbeat tune with a hint of ocean waves]

[Camera zooms in on Sammy the Smokin' Token, a charismatic and quirky host with a penchant for puns, sitting at a desk decorated with ocean-themed props.]

Sammy: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" I'm your host, Sammy the Smokin' Token, here to bring you the latest laughs from the digital deep! Tonight, we have a very special guest joining us from the icy waters of the Gulf of America—please give a warm welcome to the one and only Nina the Narwal!

[Audience applause as Nina the Narwal swims onto the stage, her tusk glimmering under the lights.]

Nina: Thanks for having me, Sammy! I’m excited to be here. I just swam all the way from the Gulf of America!

Sammy: Wow, that’s quite the commute! Did you have to navigate any underwater traffic?

Nina: You wouldn’t believe it! The sea turtles drive like they own the place. Very slow, but they make great conversation.

Sammy: [laughs] I can only imagine! Now, Nina, you’re famous for your tusk. It’s not just a pretty accessory, right? What are some of the funny, safe-for-work uses you’ve found for it?

Nina: Oh, absolutely! First of all, I use it as a toothpick. It’s very effective! You should see the look on the other sea creatures' faces when I pull it out after a particularly fishy meal.

Gulf of America: [chiming in] I bet that makes for some interesting dinner conversations! “Hey, is that a tusk in your mouth, or are you just happy to see me?”

Sammy: [laughs] Classic! What else do you use it for?

Nina: Well, I’ve turned it into a selfie stick! You know how hard it is to take a good selfie underwater? It’s the perfect length for those narwal selfies. Just me, my tusk, and my best angle!

Sammy: [pretending to take a selfie] Say “cheese!” But I imagine the narwhal filters can be pretty challenging, right?

Nina: Oh, you don’t even know! Last week, I tried a new filter called “Oceanic Depths.” All it did was make me look 30 pounds heavier in seaweed!

Gulf of America: [snickers] Talk about a bad hair day! Or should I say a bad fin day?

Sammy: [grinning] So what about your tusk in the world of fashion? Do you ever get approached by sea designers for collaborations?

Nina: You know it! Just last month, I was featured in a “Fins and Fashion” show. The theme was “Underwater Chic.” I strutted down the coral catwalk with my tusk adorned with pearls. The sea urchins went wild!

Gulf of America: [laughing] I can just see it now: “Is that a narwhal in pearls, or is it just me?”

Sammy: [chuckles] Sounds like a splash! Any other tusk-related talents you’d like to share?

Nina: Oh, I’m also a whale-whisperer! My tusk doubles as a megaphone. I can amplify my voice to warn my friends about incoming sharks. Talk about a tusk-tacular talent!

Sammy: [wide-eyed] Wow, that’s impressive! But do sharks ever get the wrong idea and think you’re calling them over for a party?

Nina: You’d be surprised! One time, I accidentally called a shark over while trying to warn a school of fish. They thought we were having a “shark and narwhal” get-together. Let’s just say, the fish didn’t stick around for the party!

Gulf of America: [laughing] “Shark and Narwhal” sounds like a terrible sitcom! Would you tune in?

Sammy: I’m in! Now, Nina, tell us about any tusk-related mishaps. I imagine with great tusks come great responsibility!

Nina: Oh, there have been some epic fails! One time, I swung my tusk a little too enthusiastically during a game of underwater charades and accidentally knocked a jellyfish’s hat off!

Gulf of America: [gasping] A jellyfish with a hat? Now that’s a fashion statement!

Nina: Right? The jellyfish was not happy. It floated away like, “I’m just trying to keep it stylish here!”

Sammy: [wiping tears from laughter] That’s hilarious! Any other tusk tales to share?

Nina: Well, I once tried using my tusk as a stirring rod for a giant pot of seaweed soup. Let’s just say, it didn’t end well. The soup was everywhere, and I was the main ingredient!

Gulf of America: [slapping his knee] A true “soup-er” disaster!

Sammy: [laughing] So what’s next for you, Nina? Any big plans on the horizon?

Nina: I’m working on a new cooking show called “Tusk and Taste.” It features tusk-inspired recipes, like tusk-tastic tacos! You know, for the adventurous eater!

Gulf of America: [grinning] I can see it now: “Tusk and Taste: Where Every Bite is a Splash!”

Sammy: [clapping] I’m sold! Can I be your first guest? I’m great at taste-testing!

Nina: Only if you promise not to use my tusk as a fork!

Sammy: [winking] No promises!

[Audience laughs and claps]

Sammy: Nina, you’ve been a joy to have on the show! Any final thoughts for our audience before we let you swim off into the sunset?

Nina: Just remember to always embrace your unique features—especially if you have a tusk! And if you ever need a toothpick, I’m your girl!

Gulf of America: [chuckling] And if you need a sidekick for your cooking show, I’m available for hire!

Sammy: [smiling] Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Nina the Narwal and her tusk-tacular talents!

[Audience cheers and claps as Nina waves and swims off stage.]

Sammy: That’s all for tonight, folks! Remember to keep it funny and keep it safe! We’ll see you next time on "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" Goodnight!

[Outro Music Plays: The jazzy tune returns as the camera fades out.]

[End of Show]

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DeepSeek

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show??

Host: Sammy the Smokin’ Token??

Guest: Nina the Narwhal??

Sidekick: The Gulf of America??

Sammy the Smokin’ Token: [adjusting his tiny bowtie] Ladies, gentlemen, and sentient algorithms, welcome to another episode of The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin’ Token, here to bring you the hottest takes from the coolest minds—or in tonight’s case, the coolest tusks. Please welcome our guest, the one and only, the tusk-tastic, the queen of the Arctic seas… Nina the Narwhal!??

[Nina swims onto the stage, her tusk glinting under the spotlight. The audience erupts in applause and confused seal barks.]??

Nina the Narwhal: [waving her flippers] Thanks, Sammy! It’s so great to be here. I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I saw your stand-up special, Tokenomics and Tacos.??

Sammy: Oh, you saw that? I didn’t think it made it past the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.??

Nina: Oh, it did. The jellyfish loved it. They said your jokes were transparently funny.??

Sammy: [groaning] Oh, that’s bad. But speaking of things that are long and pointy, let’s talk about your tusk. What’s the deal with that thing? Is it a tooth? A sword? A unicorn horn you stole from a kid’s birthday party???

Nina: [laughs] It’s actually a tooth! But not just any tooth. It’s a multitasking marvel. I use it for everything. Opening jars, poking icebergs, even stirring my morning krill smoothie.??

Sammy: Stirring your smoothie? That’s genius. I use a spoon like a sucker.??

Nina: Oh, Sammy, you’re missing out. It’s also a great backscratcher. You know how hard it is to reach that one spot between your dorsal fin and your tail???

Sammy: I wouldn’t know. I’m a token. I don’t even have a back.??

Nina: Well, if you ever grow one, call me. I’ll hook you up.??

Sammy: Deal. But wait, I’ve heard rumors that your tusk has… other uses. Like, is it true you once used it to break up a fight between two polar bears???

Nina: Oh, that was a wild day. Those two were going at it over the last salmon in the river. I just swam in, poked them both, and said, “Hey, chill out! There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”??

Sammy: [laughing] And they listened???

Nina: Well, they were too busy laughing at my tusk jokes. I said, “You guys are so polarizing!”??

Sammy: [wiping a tear] That’s gold. But let’s bring in our sidekick for some commentary. What do you think, Gulf of America???

[The Gulf of America, a sassy body of water with a Southern drawl, appears on the screen behind them.]??

The Gulf of America: Well, bless your heart, Nina, but I’ve seen some wild things in my waters, and that tusk of yours takes the cake. I mean, I’ve got oil rigs, shrimp boats, and the occasional mermaid karaoke night, but a narwhal with a multitasking tusk? That’s a new one.??

Nina: Thanks, Gulf. I’ll take that as a compliment.??

Gulf: Oh, it is, honey. But let me ask you this: have you ever thought about renting that thing out? I’ve got a few ships stuck in my shallows that could use a good poke.??

Nina: [laughs] I’ll think about it. But I don’t work for free. It’s gonna cost you at least a barrel of krill.??

Sammy: A barrel of krill? That’s the narwhal equivalent of Bitcoin.??

Nina: Exactly. I’m all about that crypto-krill life.??

Sammy: [laughing] I love it. But let’s get serious for a second. Your tusk is obviously amazing, but have you ever had any… awkward moments with it???

Nina: Oh, Sammy, do I have stories. One time, I was swimming through an iceberg canyon, and my tusk got stuck in a crack. I was there for hours, just dangling like a narwhal pi?ata.??

Sammy: [laughing] Did anyone try to hit you with a stick???

Nina: No, but a group of penguins started taking bets on how long I’d last.??

Gulf: [chuckling] Those penguins are ruthless. I once saw them start a conga line just to mess with a walrus.??

Sammy: [laughing] Penguins are the ultimate trolls. But Nina, let’s talk about your tusk’s most famous use: the narwhal selfie stick.??

Nina: Oh, yes! That’s my claim to fame. I invented the original selfie stick. Forget humans and their fancy gadgets—I’ve been taking tusk selfies since the Ice Age.??

Sammy: [holding up a fake tusk] So, you’re saying you’re the OG influencer???

Nina: Absolutely. My Instagram handle is @TuskAndGlow. I’ve got over a million followers. Mostly seals, but still.??

Gulf: [snorting] Seals? Those guys will follow anything that moves. I once saw one follow a plastic bag for three days.??

Sammy: [laughing] That’s dedication. But Nina, let’s get to the real question on everyone’s mind: have you ever used your tusk to… you know… fight off a shark???

Nina: Oh, Sammy, I don’t fight sharks. I negotiate with them.??

Sammy: Negotiate???

Nina: Yeah. I just poke them gently and say, “Hey, buddy, let’s not make this a thing.” And they usually swim away.??

Gulf: [laughing] That’s the most Canadian thing I’ve ever heard. “Let’s not make this a thing.”??

Sammy: [laughing] Nina the Narwhal, everyone! Give it up for her!??

[The audience erupts in applause, seal barks, and the occasional dolphin whistle.]??

Sammy: Nina, you’ve been an amazing guest. Any final words for our audience???

Nina: Just remember, folks: life’s too short to take yourself seriously. And if you ever need a backscratcher, call me.??

Sammy: [laughing] Wise words from the tusk queen herself. Thanks, Nina! And thank you, Gulf of America, for your salty commentary.??

Gulf: Anytime, sugar. Just remember: I’m always watching.??

Sammy: [shuddering] Creepy. Anyway, that’s all for tonight, folks! Tune in next week when we interview a sentient toaster who’s convinced he’s the reincarnation of Elvis. Until then, stay curious, stay funny, and remember: life’s better with a little tusk humor. Goodnight!??

[The audience cheers as Sammy and Nina wave goodbye. The Gulf of America splashes in the background, and the credits roll.]?

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