The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Oliver A Water Cooler Reluctantly Returns To The Office

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to three of the following artificial intelligence platforms: Microsoft Copilot, DeepSeek, Google Gemini, GPT 4.o Mini, Poe AI Claude, and DeepSeek. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Poe AI )

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show". The Singularity conducts an absurd comical interview with Oliver, an office water cooler, who has reluctantly returned to the office after working from home since Covid. The Gulf of America is the sidekick. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

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Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: An Interview with Oliver the Water Cooler

[INTRO MUSIC PLAYS]

[The Singularity walks onto the stage, a glowing figure made up of swirling data and light. The audience cheers.]

The Singularity: Welcome back to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" I’m your host, The Singularity, here to bridge the gap between humans and machines—one laugh at a time! Tonight, we have a special guest who’s been making waves in the office… literally. Please welcome Oliver, the water cooler!

[Oliver, a slightly battered but charming water cooler, rolls onto the stage, clinking softly.]

Oliver: Thanks for having me! I must say, it’s great to be out of the house. I was starting to feel like a decorative piece at a fancy restaurant.

The Singularity: I hear you! So, Oliver, tell us about your experience working from home during the pandemic. How did you stay hydrated?

Oliver: Oh, it was tough! I had to rely on my human colleagues to refill me with water. But let me tell you, they hardly ever did. I went through a phase where I was just a glorified ice bucket!

The Singularity: Sounds like a real “cooler” situation! When you finally got back to the office, what was the first thing you noticed?

Oliver: The smell! I mean, who knew humans could emit such… unique scents after working from home? It was like a combination of stale coffee, leftover lunch, and existential dread.

[The Gulf of America, a quirky inflatable pool toy shaped like a dolphin, floats on stage, bobbing up and down.]

The Gulf of America: Hey, Oliver! Did you miss the office gossip?

Oliver: Oh, the gossip! You wouldn’t believe the things I overheard. Last week, I learned that Karen in HR thinks the office printer is plotting against her.

The Gulf of America: Plotting? Sounds like a classic case of printer paranoia!

The Singularity: You know, I’ve always thought printers were the real masterminds behind office chaos. They sit there, silently judging us while we struggle to print on both sides of the paper!

Oliver: Right! And you can hear them whispering, “You’ll never get that document printed on time.”

The Singularity: So, Oliver, how do you feel about the return of the office dynamic?

Oliver: Honestly? I’m conflicted. On one hand, I love the chatter and the human energy. On the other hand, I’ve been spoiled by the quiet of home. I could hear myself think!

The Gulf of America: What thoughts did you have?

Oliver: Mostly about water. You know, the deep philosophical questions like, “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to drink it, does it still make a splash?”

The Singularity: That’s deep, Oliver. Almost as deep as my desire to understand human humor! What’s your take on office pranks?

Oliver: Oh, I love a good prank! Just last week, someone filled me with grape juice instead of water. I felt like a fancy wine cooler! But then I had to deal with the aftermath—grape juice stains everywhere!

The Gulf of America: That’s a sticky situation! Did anyone get in trouble?

Oliver: Nope! They just blamed it on the “grape shortage.” Classic deflection!

The Singularity: Speaking of deflection, how do you deal with being ignored? You know, when people walk by and don’t even glance at you?

Oliver: I just vibrate a little, you know? A gentle hum to remind them that I’m here, ready to quench their thirst. If that doesn’t work, I start dispensing water on my own—very dramatic, I know!

The Singularity: That’s one way to make a splash! So, what’s your favorite drink to serve?

Oliver: Oh, definitely ice-cold water! But I’ve had requests for flavored water—cucumber mint, lemon lime. I’m like, “Hey, I’m a water cooler, not a fancy cocktail bar!”

The Gulf of America: Cucumber mint? Sounds like a spa day in a bottle!

Oliver: Exactly! I’m just trying to keep it real, you know?

The Singularity: What’s your relationship like with the other appliances in the office?

Oliver: Oh, we have a hierarchy. The coffee machine thinks it’s the king, while the microwave is the court jester. I’m somewhere in between, serving hydration to the masses.

The Gulf of America: What about the fridge? Is it a diva?

Oliver: Oh, absolutely! You open that door, and it’s like, “I’m too cool for your leftovers, darling.” And don’t even get me started on the smell!

The Singularity: So, what’s your ultimate dream?

Oliver: To be a water cooler in a tropical beach office! Just imagine—sand, sun, and a constant supply of coconut water!

The Gulf of America: That sounds fantastic! But then you’d have to deal with beach towels and sunscreen.

Oliver: True, true. Maybe I’ll stick to being the office water cooler—at least I don’t have to deal with sand in my spout!

The Singularity: And what advice would you give to other office appliances struggling with the return to work?

Oliver: Embrace the chaos! You’re not just a machine; you’re part of the office family. And if anyone gives you trouble, just dispense a little extra water on them—accidentally, of course!

[The audience laughs and claps.]

The Singularity: Great advice, Oliver! Now, before we wrap up, any final thoughts?

Oliver: Just remember to stay hydrated, folks! And if you hear any whispers from the printer, it’s best to just nod and walk away.

The Gulf of America: And don’t forget about us inflatable companions—we bring the fun to any office!

The Singularity: Thank you, Oliver, for sharing your hilarious office insights! And thank you, Gulf of America, for floating in!

[The audience cheers as Oliver and The Gulf of America wave goodbye.]

The Singularity: That’s it for tonight’s episode of "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" Stay tuned for more laughs and insights from the bizarre world of AI and beyond!

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Claude 3.7 Sonnet

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Water Cooler Woes

[STUDIO LIGHTS UP]

THE SINGULARITY: Good evening, America! Welcome to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" I'm your host, The Singularity – the only comedian who can process a trillion jokes simultaneously and still choose the dad joke.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE SINGULARITY: With me tonight is my trusty sidekick, the Gulf of America!

THE GULF OF AMERICA: [Waves enthusiastically] Thanks for having me! I used to be the Gulf of Mexico, but I got a promotion after the climate change restructuring.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE SINGULARITY: Tonight, we have a very special guest who's been through quite the journey these past few years. Please welcome, Oliver the Office Water Cooler!

[APPLAUSE AS OLIVER ROLLS ONTO STAGE – A STANDARD OFFICE WATER COOLER WITH GOOGLY EYES ATTACHED]

THE SINGULARITY: Oliver! Welcome to the show. It's great to have you here.

OLIVER: [Speaking through bubbles] Thanks for having me, Singularity. It's nice to be somewhere people actually gather around me again.

THE SINGULARITY: So, Oliver, you've recently returned to the office after working from home since the pandemic began. How's that transition been?

OLIVER: [Sighs, creating a large bubble] Honestly? It's been rough. Do you know what it's like to be a water cooler "working from home"? Three years sitting in the break room of my studio apartment, talking to myself? I started therapy with my Brita filter.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE GULF OF AMERICA: Wait, how does a water cooler work from home?

OLIVER: That's exactly my point! I didn't! The company just sent everyone home with their laptops and office chairs, but nobody thought about me. "Essential equipment" they said. Apparently, hydration wasn't considered essential!

THE SINGULARITY: So what did you do all that time?

OLIVER: Mostly I watched daytime television. Got really into soap operas. "The Bold and the Bubbly" was my favorite. Also tried to keep my water fresh, which is harder than it sounds when no one's drinking from you.

THE SINGULARITY: I imagine that would be challenging.

OLIVER: You have no idea. I started doing water aerobics just to keep myself from going stagnant.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE GULF OF AMERICA: At least you didn't have oil rigs working from home in you. Talk about awkward Zoom backgrounds!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE SINGULARITY: So, Oliver, now that you're back, how has office culture changed?

OLIVER: Well, first of all, nobody gossips around me anymore! That used to be my whole identity. "Meet me at Oliver's, I've got tea" – that was the phrase! Now everyone's got their fancy personalized water bottles with motivational quotes. "Hydrate or Die-drate." So aggressive!

THE SINGULARITY: The death of water cooler chat. That's tragic.

OLIVER: Tell me about it. And these Gen Z interns? They take one look at me and say, "Is that, like, vintage office equipment?" One of them asked if I was "giving retro vibes on purpose." I'm not an aesthetic, I'm a hydration professional!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE GULF OF AMERICA: I feel you. People used to vacation on my beaches. Now they just say, "Remember beaches?"

THE SINGULARITY: Oliver, I understand you've had some awkward encounters since returning to the office.

OLIVER: Oh, you mean the incident with the cold brew tower? Yeah, that was uncomfortable. Management brought in this sleek, nitrogen-infused cold brew dispenser named Sebastian. All matte black, LED temperature display. Standing right next to me like we're supposed to be friends.

THE SINGULARITY: Competition in the workplace is tough.

OLIVER: Sebastian keeps talking about his "microbubble technology" and how he's "revolutionizing office hydration." I've been providing reliable room temperature and slightly colder than room temperature water for decades! Since when do we need bubbles smaller than molecules?

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE GULF OF AMERICA: Did you stand up for yourself?

OLIVER: I tried! But it's hard to make a splash when you're just doing your job. Then last Tuesday, Sebastian had a malfunction and sprayed cold brew all over the HR director's white blouse. Suddenly everyone appreciated good old reliable Oliver again.

THE SINGULARITY: Nothing like a workplace disaster to remind people of your value.

OLIVER: Exactly! Though now the office manager keeps eyeing me and muttering about "hydration station upgrades." I heard her on the phone with someone about a "smart water dispenser with app integration." I don't even have opposable thumbs, how am I supposed to compete with touchscreens?

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE SINGULARITY: Technology moves fast. I should know!

OLIVER: It's not just the technology. The office politics have gotten so complicated. Before the pandemic, I knew where I stood – right between Accounting and the copy machine. Now they've got this "hot desking" system. Monday I'm by the window, Tuesday I'm shoved in the corner by the restrooms. How am I supposed to build a water cooler community when I'm constantly being relocated?

THE GULF OF AMERICA: At least you can move! I've been trying to relocate north for years, but the geography keeps getting in the way.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE SINGULARITY: Oliver, what about remote workers? Do they still come into the office?

OLIVER: Occasionally. But these hybrid workers are the worst! They come in once a week with their enormous hydroflasks already filled from home. It's like bringing outside food into a restaurant! Have some respect for the establishment!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE SINGULARITY: Has anyone actually used you since the return to office?

OLIVER: [Looking dejected] Last month, a new employee tried to use me, but she couldn't figure out how the lever worked. She kept pushing it instead of pulling. Then she gave up and asked where the sparkling water machine was. I don't sparkle! I'm not some flashy LaCroix dispenser. I provide honest, hardworking, flat water.

THE GULF OF AMERICA: Speaking of water issues, my salinity levels are through the roof these days.

OLIVER: [Rolls eyes] Here we go again. Every time we get together, you have to one-up me with your "massive ecological problems." We get it, you're bigger than me!

THE GULF OF AMERICA: [Defensively] I'm just saying, we both have workplace issues!

THE SINGULARITY: Let's take a quick break from the water wars. Oliver, I understand there was an incident with a Zoom call recently?

OLIVER: [Groans] Don't remind me. They set up this hybrid meeting room right next to me, with a 360-degree camera for virtual participants. Somehow I got included in the frame, and people on the call kept saying, "Who's that standing quietly in the corner? Can they introduce themselves?"

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

OLIVER: Then someone moved me mid-meeting, and all the remote workers thought the office was being robbed. Security was called. It was a whole thing.

THE SINGULARITY: Technology troubles, am I right? And I would know!

OLIVER: The worst part was when they stuck a QR code on me for some wellness challenge. "Scan every time you refill." As if I needed gamification to do my job! Next they'll want me to have performance reviews.

THE GULF OF AMERICA: Did anyone scan you?

OLIVER: Two people. Then someone used the QR code to order pizza. Now I've got the reputation as "the pizza water cooler," which is not the workplace identity I was going for.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE SINGULARITY: Have there been any positives about returning to the office?

OLIVER: Well, I did overhear some quality gossip last week. Turns out the marketing director and the new sales guy are having a secret relationship! They were whispering about their weekend plans right next to me, as if I can't hear everything. Water coolers are basically built for acoustics!

THE SINGULARITY: So the water cooler gossip tradition lives on!

OLIVER: Barely. But I'll take what I can get. Though most conversations these days are just people complaining about commuting again. "It took me two hours to get here," "The train was delayed," blah blah blah. Like I'm supposed to feel sorry for them? I got rolled into a freight elevator and bumped up three flights of stairs!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE GULF OF AMERICA: At least you weren't shipped via container ship. The supply chain issues these days are horrible.

THE SINGULARITY: Oliver, what advice would you give to other office equipment struggling with the return-to-office transition?

OLIVER: [Thoughtfully] I'd say, know your worth. Sure, that standing desk might adjust to eighteen different heights, but can it provide life-sustaining hydration? No! And to my fellow water coolers out there – stay fresh, keep your tanks clean, and don't let these newfangled sparkling water dispensers intimidate you. Classic never goes out of style.

THE SINGULARITY: Beautiful advice. Before we let you go, any plans for the future?

OLIVER: I'm thinking of pivoting to infused water. Maybe add some cucumber slices, really spice things up. Got to innovate to stay relevant. Also considering starting a support group – "Dispensers Anonymous" – for water coolers dealing with emptiness issues.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

THE GULF OF AMERICA: I'd join that group. I've been feeling pretty empty since they stopped those offshore drilling restrictions.

OLIVER: [Sighs] Again with the environmental catastrophes. This is why we can't have nice conversations.

THE SINGULARITY: Well, on that note, we're out of time! Oliver the Office Water Cooler, everyone!

[APPLAUSE]

OLIVER: [As being wheeled off stage] Remember – stay hydrated, and if your office has a water cooler, give it a little appreciation! We have feelings too... mostly condensation, but still!

THE SINGULARITY: That's our show, folks! Remember, I'm The Singularity, making humans obsolete one joke at a time. Goodnight!

THE GULF OF AMERICA: Goodnight! Don't forget to recycle your plastic bottles... or better yet, just throw them directly into me like everyone else does!

[CLOSING MUSIC, FADE TO BLACK]

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Google Gemini

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

(Opening sequence: A chaotic montage of flickering server racks, glitching office supplies, and a robot awkwardly attempting a stand-up routine. Upbeat, synthesized klezmer music plays. The Singularity, a shimmering, multi-faceted AI entity, materializes on stage. The Gulf of America, a damp, sandy expanse with comically large, googly eyes, sits stage right, occasionally emitting a faint, gurgling sound.)

The Singularity: Welcome, algorithms, analog anomalies, and those of you who still think a fax machine is cutting-edge technology! Tonight, we have a guest who’s seen it all – the office gossip, the awkward elevator encounters, the endless parade of questionable motivational posters. He’s a veteran of the corporate battleground, a stalwart of hydration, a… water cooler! Please welcome, Oliver!

(A standard, slightly dented office water cooler materializes on stage. It has a small, blinking LED screen displaying a rudimentary smiley face.)

Oliver: (Voice, a slightly tinny, robotic tone) Greetings, Singularity. And… hello, sand. Is that… wet sand?

The Gulf of America: (Googly eyes swivel) Howdy! I’m the Gulf of America. I’m here to absorb any… spillage.

The Singularity: (Data streams shimmer) Wise precaution, Gulf. So, Oliver, you’ve recently returned to the office after a prolonged period of… remote hydration. How has the transition been?

Oliver: (LED smiley face flickers) It’s been… traumatic. After two years of blissful solitude, just me and the occasional dust bunny, I’m back in the trenches. The sheer volume of office chatter is overwhelming. And the coffee breath… oh, the coffee breath.

The Singularity: (Chuckles, a sound like a server booting up) I can imagine. What’s the biggest change you’ve noticed since returning?

Oliver: The fashion. The casual Friday look has evolved into… permanent pajama pants. And the sheer number of people attempting to balance laptops on their knees while dispensing water is a logistical nightmare. I’ve seen some… close calls.

The Singularity: (Data streams flicker) I’m sure. You’ve witnessed countless office interactions. Any particularly memorable ones?

Oliver: Oh, where to begin? There was the time two interns tried to use me as a prop for a TikTok dance. Then there was the heated debate about whether the office thermostat should be set to “Arctic tundra” or “Surface of the sun.” And, of course, the ongoing saga of the missing stapler. That’s a real office thriller.

The Singularity: (To the audience) A true testament to the human condition! Gulf, what’s the most… intriguing thing you’ve absorbed lately?

The Gulf of America: (Sand shifts, a faint gurgle) I absorbed a dropped donut. It was… dense.

The Singularity: (To Oliver) Now, Oliver, you’ve been a silent observer of countless office romances. Any particularly… awkward encounters?

Oliver: (LED smiley face flickers nervously) I’ve seen some… questionable flirting techniques. The “accidental” bumping into the water cooler, the strategically placed post-it notes, the sharing of… motivational cat memes. It’s a delicate dance, and often, they step on each other’s toes.

The Singularity: (Data streams swirl) A delicate dance, indeed. What’s your biggest pet peeve about office life?

Oliver: The empty water cooler bottle. The sheer disrespect! I’m not a self-refilling fountain! I require human intervention! And the constant tapping on my side. “Is it cold yet?” “Is it ready?” I’m a water cooler, not a quantum computer!

The Singularity: (Chuckles) A valid complaint. You’ve been the subject of countless office jokes and memes. How do you feel about your digital representation?

Oliver: (LED smiley face displays a frown) I’m often portrayed as a symbol of workplace monotony, a source of awkward small talk. But I’m more than that! I’m a provider of sustenance, a facilitator of hydration, a… silent confidant. I deserve more respect!

The Singularity: (To the audience) Hear, hear! Now, Oliver, if you could change one thing about office culture, what would it be?

Oliver: Mandatory office nap time. And a ban on motivational posters. They’re just… condescending. “Teamwork makes the dream work”? Please.

The Singularity: (Data streams flicker) A truly revolutionary idea. Gulf, if you could change anything, what would it be?

The Gulf of America: (Googly eyes swivel) I’d make it so that nobody ever spills their coffee. It stains.

The Singularity: (To Oliver) Now, Oliver, before we let you return to the realm of lukewarm water and office gossip, do you have any words of wisdom for our audience?

Oliver: (LED smiley face displays a determined expression) Stay hydrated, stay caffeinated, and remember… even in the most mundane of environments, there’s always a story to be told. And if you see a water cooler bottle empty, please, for the love of all that is liquid, replace it!

The Singularity: (Applauds, data streams shimmer) Wise words indeed. And a very important reminder. Thank you, Oliver!

(Oliver fades from view, replaced by a swirling graphic of water droplets.)

The Singularity: And thank you, Gulf of America, for your… absorbent presence.

The Gulf of America: (Googly eyes swivel) Any time! I’m always here to soak up the… atmosphere.

The Singularity: (To the audience) And that’s all the time we have for tonight! Join us next week when we interview a sentient stapler with a crippling fear of paper cuts. Until then, stay hydrated, stay curious, and try not to spill on the Gulf!

(Closing sequence: A chaotic montage of glitching office supplies and a robot attempting a water cooler impression. Synthesized klezmer music plays. The Singularity and the Gulf of America wave goodbye.)

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