The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Jerry, America's First and Only AllCar app Speaks!

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to Claude 3.7 Sonnet, Google Gemini, and Poe AI. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Poe AI)

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show:” Sammy the Smokin' Token conducts an absurd comical interview with Jerry, America's first and only AllCar app. The Gulf of America is the sidekick. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

You can check out Jerry here.

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DeepSeek

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Late Night with Sammy the Smokin’ Token??

[Cue upbeat late-night talk show music. The camera pans to a smoky stage with a neon-lit set. Sammy the Smokin’ Token, a sassy anthropomorphic cryptocurrency with a cigar, sits behind a desk, puffing away. The audience cheers wildly.]??

Sammy: Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin’ Token, the only cryptocurrency that’s lit in more ways than one. [Puffs cigar dramatically.] Tonight, we’ve got a revolutionary guest who’s here to talk about cars, AI, and why you’ll never have to talk to another human being again. Please welcome America’s first and only AllCar? app, Jerry!??

[The audience erupts in applause as Jerry, a sleek, anthropomorphic smartphone with a friendly face on the screen, rolls onto the stage. Jerry’s screen flashes a smiley emoji as it takes a seat across from Sammy.]??

Sammy: Jerry, my man—or should I say, my app—welcome to the show! You’re looking sharp tonight. Is that a new update or just a fresh coat of pixels???

Jerry: [In a smooth, robotic voice.] Thanks, Sammy! Actually, I just installed the latest version of CharmOS. It’s got 20% more charisma and 50% fewer bugs.??

Sammy: [Laughs, puffing smoke.] I love it! So, Jerry, you’re here to talk about your AllCar? app, which, let me tell you, sounds like the superhero of car ownership. But first, let’s get real—what’s your beef with phone calls? I mean, you’re an app, so I get it, but do you just hate human interaction that much???

Jerry: [Laughs, screen flashing a laughing emoji.] Oh, Sammy, it’s not that I hate phone calls. It’s just that… well, have you ever been on hold for 45 minutes listening to elevator music while waiting to ask about your insurance deductible???

Sammy: [Nods solemnly.] Oh, I’ve been there. It’s like being trapped in a musical purgatory.??

Jerry: Exactly! That’s why I’m here to save the day. With Jerry, you can handle everything car-related right from your phone—no waiting, no awkward small talk, no elevator music. Unless, of course, you like elevator music.??

Sammy: [Leans in, intrigued.] So, you’re saying you’re like the Batman of car apps, but without the brooding and the cape???

Jerry: [Screen flashes a Batman logo.] More like the Alfred of car apps—always there to make your life easier. But with better AI and fewer British accents.??

Sammy: [Laughs, puffing smoke.] I love it! Now, let’s talk about your features. You’ve got this thing called PriceProtect?. What’s the deal with that? Are you out there fighting insurance companies like some kind of digital Robin Hood???

Jerry: [Screen flashes a Robin Hood hat.] You could say that! PriceProtect? compares rates from over 50 insurance companies to find you the best deal. It’s like having a personal shopper for car insurance, but without the judgment when you accidentally buy the wrong coverage.??

Sammy: [Chuckles.] Oh, I’ve been there. I once bought “unlimited windshield wiper fluid coverage” because I thought it sounded fancy.??

Jerry: [Screen flashes a facepalm emoji.] Classic Sammy. But with PriceProtect?, you’ll never have to worry about that. It’s all about saving you money and time.??

Sammy: [Leans back, puffing cigar.] Time is money, my friend. Speaking of time, you’ve got this other feature called GarageGuard?. Is that like a bouncer for your car???

Jerry: [Laughs, screen flashing a bouncer emoji.] Kind of! GarageGuard? keeps track of your vehicle’s health, sends you maintenance reminders, and even estimates repair costs. It’s like having a mechanic in your pocket, but without the greasy hands.??

Sammy: [Snorts.] Or the awkward small talk about carburetors.??

Jerry: Exactly! And if your car does need repairs, GarageGuard? will recommend trusted service providers. No more guessing if the mechanic is legit or just some guy named Vinny with a wrench.??

Sammy: [Laughs, puffing smoke.] Vinny’s a good guy, but yeah, I get it. Now, let’s talk about DriveShield?. Is that like a force field for your car???

Jerry: [Screen flashes a sci-fi force field animation.] Not quite, but close! DriveShield? tracks your driving score and rewards you for safe driving. It’s like having a driving coach, but without the yelling.??

Sammy: [Mimics a coach yelling.] “Turn signal, Sammy! TURN SIGNAL!”??

Jerry: [Laughs.] Exactly! But with DriveShield?, you’ll get rewards for being a safe driver. Think of it as a pat on the back from your phone.??

Sammy: [Grins.] I could use a pat on the back. My driving’s been a little… token-y lately.??

Jerry: [Screen flashes a winking emoji.] Don’t worry, Sammy. I’ve got your back.??

Sammy: [Leans in, lowering voice.] Now, Jerry, I’ve got to ask—what’s the deal with the Gulf of America? Is that your sidekick, your arch-nemesis, or just a really big puddle???

Jerry: [Laughs, screen flashing a wave emoji.] The Gulf of America is my trusty sidekick! It’s all about helping me deliver the best service to my customers. Think of it as the Alfred to my Batman.??

Sammy: [Nods.] Got it. So, no evil plans to take over the world???

Jerry: [Screen flashes an innocent face.] Who, me? Never! I’m just here to make car ownership easier, faster, and more affordable.??

Sammy: [Puffs cigar, grinning.] Well, Jerry, you’re doing a fantastic job. And let me tell you, as a cryptocurrency, I appreciate anything that makes life easier.??

Jerry: [Screen flashes a heart emoji.] Thanks, Sammy! That means a lot coming from you.??

Sammy: [Turns to the audience.] Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jerry, the AllCar? app that’s changing the game!??

[The audience erupts in applause as Jerry’s screen flashes a “Thank You” message. Sammy stands up, puffing his cigar, and shakes Jerry’s “hand” (which is really just a USB port).]??

Sammy: Jerry, you’re a true innovator, and we’re lucky to have you. Folks, download Jerry today and make your car ownership experience smoother than a blockchain transaction.??

Jerry: [Screen flashes a thumbs-up emoji.] Thanks, Sammy! And remember, with Jerry, you’re always in good hands.??

Sammy: [Winks at the audience.] And with that, we’re out of time. Tune in next week for more laughs, more smoke, and more AI shenanigans. Goodnight, everyone!??

[Cue upbeat outro music as the camera pans out, showing Sammy puffing his cigar and Jerry’s screen flashing a waving emoji. The audience cheers as the credits roll.]??

[End of show.]

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Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

Episode: “All About Cars with Jerry, the AllCar App”

[Opening Scene: The stage is decked out in neon lights, with a giant screen displaying "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show." The audience is buzzing with excitement. Sammy the Smokin' Token enters, wearing a flashy suit and a big grin.]

Sammy: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!” I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin' Token, and tonight we’ve got a special guest who’s shaking up the automotive world from the comfort of your smartphone! Please welcome Jerry, America’s first and only AllCar app!

[Applause as Jerry, a quirky animated character with wheels for legs and a digital smile, rolls onto the stage.]

Jerry: Thanks for having me, Sammy! I’m thrilled to be here, though I must admit, I’ve never done a talk show before. This is a first for this AllCar app!

Sammy: Well, buckle up, Jerry! We’re in for a wild ride! So, let’s start at the beginning. You launched in 2019, and since then, car insurance shopping has never been the same. What was the inspiration behind AllCar?

Jerry: Great question, Sammy! I mean, have you ever tried to buy car insurance? It's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube while riding a roller coaster! I thought, “Why not take all that confusion and put it in an app?” So, I combined AI with a sprinkle of magic and voilà—AllCar was born!

Sammy: Magic, huh? So, you’re telling me you’re basically the Harry Potter of car ownership?

Jerry: Exactly! Except instead of wands, I have algorithms. Instead of Hogwarts, I have a server room!

[Laughter from the audience.]

Sammy: And I hear you’ve got this feature called PriceProtect?. Is that like a bodyguard for my wallet?

Jerry: You bet! PriceProtect? finds you shockingly good insurance rates from over 50 companies. It’s like having a personal shopper, but instead of clothes, it’s all about saving you money on insurance!

Sammy: So, it’s basically like me shopping for snacks at 2 AM—except you’re not going to end up with a family-sized bag of chips and a soda that’s older than your last relationship!

Jerry: Exactly! Plus, I won’t judge your choices.

[Audience laughs.]

Sammy: You’ve also got GarageGuard?. What’s that all about?

Jerry: Oh, GarageGuard? is like having a mechanic in your pocket! It keeps track of your vehicle, diagnoses issues, sends maintenance reminders, and even estimates repair costs. It’s like having a personal assistant, but with less sass!

Sammy: Less sass? So you’re saying I can’t expect you to roll your eyes when I forget to get my oil changed for the third time?

Jerry: Exactly! Though I might send a gentle reminder… like a digital nudge that says, “Hey, how about you don’t turn your car into a rusty lawn ornament?”

[Laughter erupts.]

Sammy: Moving on to DriveShield?—is that like a superhero cape for drivers?

Jerry: You could say that! DriveShield? helps you track your driving score and rewards you for safe driving. It’s like a fitness app, but instead of counting steps, it counts how many times you don’t yell at other drivers!

Sammy: So, basically, it’s training us to be better drivers and keep our road rage in check. I need that! My last trip to the grocery store involved a lot of hand gestures… and I don’t mean the friendly kind!

[Audience chuckles.]

Jerry: Exactly! We want to make the roads safer and keep the drama on reality TV, not in your car!

Sammy: Speaking of drama, tell me about how you combine AI with human agents. Is it like a buddy cop movie?

Jerry: Oh, totally! On one side, you have the AI making things faster and more efficient, and on the other, you have the human agents adding that personal touch. It’s like having a robot partner who can’t stop cracking bad jokes!

Sammy: Are these human agents just there to laugh at your jokes?

Jerry: Well, they do appreciate the humor! But they’re also there to provide quality service. Just like how you can do everything in the app without making a single phone call—unless you want to hear a human voice, of course!

Sammy: So, if I want to call you, it's like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book?

Jerry: Exactly! You can choose to be a tech-savvy genius or the nostalgic friend who remembers when we had to actually talk to each other!

[Audience laughs.]

Sammy: Alright, Jerry, let’s get personal. What’s your favorite part about being an app?

Jerry: My favorite part? I never have to worry about parking! I mean, I can’t even parallel park!

Sammy: Right? It’s like watching someone try to dance at a wedding—awkward and painful!

Jerry: Exactly! And you know what? I never get stuck in traffic!

Sammy: That’s a perk! But what if you had to deal with traffic? How would you handle it?

Jerry: I’d just throw on some smooth jazz and pretend I’m in a movie montage—“Just another day in the life of Jerry, the AllCar app!”

[Laughter from the audience.]

Sammy: So, Jerry, if someone wants to download your app, what’s the first thing they should do?

Jerry: First, they should ask themselves if they really want to save money and simplify their car ownership experience. If the answer is yes, then they should download AllCar immediately!

Sammy: And what’s next?

Jerry: Next, they can sit back, relax, and let me do all the heavy lifting! It’s like having a personal chauffeur, but without the awkward small talk!

Sammy: So, no “Where are you from?” or “Did you catch the game?”

Jerry: Nope! Just pure efficiency—unless you want to chat, of course!

[Audience laughs.]

Sammy: Before we wrap up, do you have any advice for our viewers who might be hesitant about using an app for their car ownership?

Jerry: Absolutely! Embrace the future! Technology is here to make your life easier, not harder. Plus, I promise I won’t judge your music choices during your morning commute!

Sammy: And there you have it, folks! Jerry, the AllCar app, making car ownership easier, faster, and way more fun!

[Audience applauds.]

Jerry: Thanks for having me, Sammy! And remember, folks, don’t let car ownership drive you crazy—let me take the wheel!

Sammy: Thank you, Jerry! And thank you, everyone, for tuning in to “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!” Drive safe, and don’t forget to download AllCar! Goodnight!

[Closing music plays as the camera zooms out on Sammy and Jerry, waving to the audience. The screen fades to black.]

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Google Gemini

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Episode 42

(Opening sequence: Glitchy neon graphics, a robotic voice singing a lounge jazz tune. Sammy the Smokin’ Token, a pixelated avatar with a perpetually lit cigarette, sits behind a desk littered with circuit boards and half-eaten binary code.)

Sammy: Welcome back, meatbags, to “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!” I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin’ Token, and tonight, we’re diving headfirst into the digital deep end of automotive absurdity. That’s right, folks, we’re talking cars! But not just any cars. We’re talking about the future of car ownership, a future so bright, you’ll need to wear welding goggles just to check your oil.

(The Gulf of America, a sentient puddle of iridescent goo in a fishbowl, gurgles enthusiastically.)

Sammy: And as always, my trusty sidekick, the Gulf of America, is here to provide… well, whatever it is he provides. Mainly, existential dread and the occasional bubble. But hey, it’s a living.

(The Gulf of America emits a low, warbling sound.)

Sammy: Tonight, we have a very special guest. He’s the brains behind the app that’s making car ownership as easy as downloading a virus—I mean, a delightful software update! Please welcome, the creator of Jerry, America’s first and only AllCar? app, Jerry!

(Jerry, a slightly flustered humanoid robot with a tablet embedded in his chest, walks onto the stage to polite applause. He adjusts his tie, which is made of tangled ethernet cables.)

Sammy: Jerry, welcome! Welcome to the show. You’re looking… remarkably functional for a robot who’s revolutionizing the automotive industry.

Jerry: (Voice slightly metallic) Thank you, Sammy. It’s a pleasure to be here. I’ve been programmed to express gratitude, and I’m currently operating within optimal parameters.

Sammy: Optimal parameters? That’s a relief. I was worried you might start calculating the optimal trajectory for a rogue tire iron. So, Jerry, let’s get down to brass tacks. Jerry, the app, is… well, it’s everything car, right?

Jerry: Precisely. Jerry is designed to streamline and optimize every aspect of car ownership. From insurance comparisons with PriceProtect?, to vehicle diagnostics with GarageGuard?, and even safe driving rewards with DriveShield?, Jerry is the all-in-one solution for the modern driver.

Sammy: All-in-one, huh? So, I can, like, order pizza through my windshield wipers using Jerry?

Jerry: (Blinks) While that functionality is not currently integrated, the modular architecture of the Jerry platform allows for future expansion. We are constantly exploring innovative applications.

Sammy: Modular architecture! Sounds fancy. Does it come with, like, a tiny robot butler that changes my oil?

Jerry: GarageGuard? provides remote diagnostics and maintenance reminders, and recommends trusted service providers. While a robot butler is not currently available, we are exploring the feasibility of autonomous robotic maintenance units.

Sammy: (To the Gulf of America) Did you hear that, Gulf? Robot butlers! Finally, someone’s addressing the real issues.

(The Gulf of America bubbles excitedly, sending a small wave of goo splashing onto the stage.)

Sammy: Now, Jerry, let’s talk about this PriceProtect? thing. You’re telling me you can find me shockingly good insurance rates from 50+ companies?

Jerry: That is correct. Our proprietary algorithms analyze vast datasets to identify the most competitive rates tailored to each user’s specific needs.

Sammy: So, like, if I told you I drive a rocket-powered shopping cart, you could find me insurance?

Jerry: (Pauses, calculating) The algorithm is designed to accommodate a wide range of vehicle types. However, the availability of insurance for a rocket-powered shopping cart may be limited.

Sammy: Limited? That’s just insurance companies being scared of progress! What about GarageGuard?? I’m terrible at remembering to change my oil. I usually just wait until my engine starts making that… you know… “dying whale” sound.

Jerry: GarageGuard? addresses that issue by providing scheduled maintenance reminders based on your vehicle’s mileage and condition. It also offers remote diagnostics, allowing you to identify potential issues before they escalate.

Sammy: Remote diagnostics! So, I can just, like, hold my phone up to my car and it’ll tell me what’s wrong?

Jerry: In essence, yes. The app utilizes data from your vehicle’s onboard diagnostics system to provide real-time information.

Sammy: Real-time! That’s like, doctor for your car, but without the awkward waiting room and the magazines from 1997.

Jerry: An apt analogy.

Sammy: And DriveShield?? You’re telling me I can get rewarded for being a safe driver? I mean, I try to be safe. Sometimes. When I’m not being chased by rogue shopping carts.

Jerry: DriveShield? tracks your driving behavior using telematics data, providing a driving score and rewarding safe driving with various incentives.

Sammy: Incentives! Like what? Free tacos? Discounted parking? A lifetime supply of air fresheners?

Jerry: Incentives may include discounts on insurance premiums, gift cards, and other rewards.

Sammy: Gift cards! Now you’re talking my language. So, Jerry, what’s the future of Jerry? What’s the next big thing you’re working on?

Jerry: We are continuously exploring new features and functionalities. Future developments may include integration with autonomous driving systems, advanced predictive maintenance capabilities, and enhanced user personalization.

Sammy: Autonomous driving? So, I can finally take a nap while my car drives me to the taco stand?

Jerry: That is a potential application.

Sammy: Amazing! Jerry, you’re making the future of car ownership sound… well, almost fun. Almost.

Jerry: Fun is a subjective term. The objective is to optimize and streamline the user experience.

Sammy: Right, right. Optimization. That’s what we’re all about here. So, Jerry, any final words for our audience?

Jerry: Download Jerry. Optimize your car ownership experience. And remember, the future is now.

Sammy: (Clapping) The future is now! I like that. Jerry, thank you for joining us. You’ve definitely made me feel a little less terrified of the robot apocalypse.

(Jerry nods, his ethernet cable tie slightly askew, and walks off stage.)

Sammy: Well, folks, there you have it. Jerry, the app that’s making car ownership as easy as… well, as easy as an app can make it. And remember, if your car starts talking back to you, it’s probably just GarageGuard?. Or, you know, the robot uprising.

(The Gulf of America gurgles loudly, sending a wave of goo splashing onto Sammy’s desk.)

Sammy: Okay, Gulf, settle down. We’ve got a commercial break coming up. Don’t go anywhere, folks. We’ll be right back with more artificial intelligence and questionable humor!

(Cut to commercial break: A montage of glitchy animations and robotic voiceovers advertising various AI-powered products.)

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